We are in the constant 'train[ing] up' of our children and at this specific moment in time, I am at a love/hate relationship with the process. Jackson has been wildly out of control...I so wish I could have written 'mildly' but that isn't the case. So, life has been hard on him. He has this point. It seems he gets there SO incredibly fast too. And once he gets there, it's just a nightmare. I hate every minute of it. And, truth be told, I have NO CLUE what on earth I am suppose to do. There seems to be nothing. NOTHING effects his behavior once he gets past that point. He's done with. I am done with him. And yet, because I love him, I can't quit on him, although EVERYTHING within me wants to. It's hard people. He is the sweetest thing on earth, and then the very thing I want to hurl across the room. His tiny little 39 pound body contains them both! How, I do not know.
I went back and checked my January 1st post because I knew I had written my goals down for the year. I am so glad that I did write them down...because a few of them I had already forgotten about and here it is STILL JANUARY. My brain is in malfunction mode.
Anyway, I am excited to say that I have been a little better about spending more intentional time with both my children and my husband, but not nearly as I had planned. I just get lazy and very selfish and choose other things besides them sometimes. So, I would give myself a C+ on the kids and a C- with my hubby (so backwards I know).
With my spending time in the word (and liking it) I, by the grace of God alone, would have to say that it's been done. I am LOVING the One Year Bible Blog and I HIGHLY recommend you at least trying it out, even if you just start from today, if you don't have another thing that is working for you! I am craving Genesis right now! I love it I love it I love it! A
My discipleship time with Bethani is going very well. I was quite worried about how it would all pan out because honestly, who the heck am I? I don't know the first thing about it because no one ever did it for me...but I am going forward with it and loving my time with her and learning a lot myself. We've met twice now and have 4 more weeks planned out. We are going through 1 John together and wow, I recommend some steel-toed shoes and some gloves, you're gonna get dirty! A
My small group is one of my priorities for the next 4 months (they are seniors). It, finally, seems to be going well. We are doing the truth project along with a new journal method Jeff gave me and they and I both love it! So exciting. So challenging. So amazing. LOVE IT. B+
My eating? Well that would be one I had forgotten that I actually put on there :) And, well...I would probably give myself a D on that one. I am such a stress eater. Bad thing. Bad thing. Especially while parenting two toddler/preschoolers who might very well make James Dobson cry. *My mom claims the same was true for me when I was little :) Grrrrreat!
My working out? Hmmm...well. My desire is there. I even get out of the house to do it. Then I get the Y, drop the kids at the childcare and all I want to do is relax with some peace and quiet. So I have been reading :) But I have worked out 3-5 times...that is so lame. C
And last but not least...the grand goal of seeing the positive. Well, lets see. I forgot I put that there till I reread it yesterday...and then again today, just now, I had to go back to see which one I was missing. That is certainly not my strongest character quality, or one at all. It certainly doesn't come naturally to me. I think it is so funny that I wrote that. It must have been either a really good day or a really really bad one. Either way, I need to remember that. I need to see the positive in things...I think sometimes that might require me closing my eyes. :) Is that fair? haha. Rating: F
I hate failing. If this were my report card in school I'd be grounded (my own doing) for a long long time. So glad God grades with grace. I need a whole lot of that in my life right now.
Glad to be back...I've missed you guys.
10 comments:
Cute new pics! I've missed you! We need to talk! :-) I bet your hubby would grade you higher than C-! :-)
I've been wondering about you!!! But who am I to talk? You know how good I am at this blogging thing. Good to get an update, and don't be too hard on yourself.
You're definitely not the only one working on those things...
Age three has been hard for us. The training is tough. Tough because it's so repetitive...you just keep doing it and doing it and results aren't seen as often as you'd like. But I'm pretty sure that's NORMAL. Your family isn't the weird one. My mom keeps telling me that's what it means to be a parent. You keep working at something over and over even when you don't see changes. It's such a long-term thing. I'm so dramatic about it, it's good to hear her perspective in this: that this is exactly what training looks like. I'm not the first to deal with its difficulties! She always lets me know. =)
I go through periods of discouragement with it, but what I have to focus on is that God made me these kids' mother. I am the one He created to help lead, teach, and train them. He didn't mess that up. He can't mess things up. This is my job. And I can't do it alone. But of course He can do it through me. I just have to guard against comparing myself to the families who "look" all perfect. God's timing for a child's growth is different for every family, just as struggles are. I have to be ok with the PROCESS.
Keep working! You're a great family. And a great mom.
Well I'm a teacher, and by the power vested in my by the, er..., state of womankind, I prononce that you have an A+. Besides, I'm almost 100% positive that God grades on a curve anyway.
See, another reason I absolutely love the friendships you can have even if merely behind a screen ;) thanks guys! And I didn't feel as if I was being too tough on myself. The things that are really important I am doing and the other things will fall into place I am sure soon,. And it's goodbyo leave room for improvement, right!? :)
Good to not goodbyo
My wife is AWESOME!!!
...and HOT...
So sorry I am late in the game, but I think you are amazing. After lunching with you I can tell where your heart is and that IS the most important thing. Ditch the grades because we ALL fail in living up to the standards Jesus has set for us.
Your heart is pure and you are actively seeking the will of your Father! That alone gives you an A+.
Love you girl!
Hey, I think you are doing good to even have goals :)
My sweet Courtney. I read your post and thought the post at the end about looking at the positives should be your first priority! You are WAAAAYYY hard on yourself, and your children. You are in their lives and are teaching them, you just can't see it! So I'll be your positive, although my sister tells me I try so hard to think positively that I'm into Idealistic. Oh well! Love you-Sarah
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