The Ultimate Game

I have this passion for this game that I can't describe, which is why I am trying. I am horrible at articulating my emotions about 90% of the time, but occasionally if I write (type) things out, then they become clearer to me and maybe will allow me to explain it to others better.

Volleyball is the greatest game in the world for the female athlete. I am passionate about it. I love it! I truly love it (in the real sense of the word love). At one time in my life it was my first love, then my second(God, volleyball), and now my fourth (God, family, ministry, volleyball). When I was a player, back in my prime, I would do anything for that little white leather ball. I sacrificed my body time and time again. I broke three ribs two different times, just to make one play on the ball. I don't remember if I got it over or not, but that's just it...it didn't matter. I just wanted to give my all, to try, to bust it, JUST IN CASE. I was good. But I wasn't the best skilled player there was (I don't think at all). I just had heart...maybe the biggest heart and the most competitive spirit out there.

I have come to realize that, as a coach, you can't teach, train, or even demand heart. You either have it or you don't. You can't just go buy it either, which in this day and age is a real bummer, since most of this generation is so used to that. When they want something they just get it handed to them on a silver platter, without ever having to think about, want it for more than a second--if its buyable, its theirs. These kids these days don't seem to know what the word 'desire' is. Just by definition alone--"to wish or long for; crave; want"--you have to 'long' for something, but when it is just flown in a jet plane with a cherry on top, how is that you have 'longed' for it?

I hunger for the game of volleyball, which is why I am now coaching. I would give up my coaching seat in an instant to suit up and play, if I could. I want to show them what it looks like. I want them to know. I desperately want them to know--to know what it feels like, to know what it looks like, to be in it with everything that you have, to want something so bad it hurts, to leave the court without your heart (because its still on the floor)...I did that. I hope I did that EVERY single game I ever played (I don't know if I did or not). But I know what it feels like to love the game because I won and lost with pride, with heart, with tears, with smiles, with cheers and with heartache. I risked everything, just for the sake of a little white leather ball.

Heart certainly can't win every match for every kid, but I know it can and did win some for me. I wasn't always the best player, wasn't always the best athlete, but I think I always wanted it more than anyone else out there, and for that reason, I am still remembered today as one of the greatest in Oklahoma High School volleyball. At least four times this year I have been told this by coaches and refs who are still around today that were around back in my day. We carry on conversation after conversation about how they just need someone to be the "go-to-kid." I was that. I wanted to be that. I still do.

There is no greater game. You can be beautiful and long and lean (not that I was any of those things...)to play volleyball. You don't have to be butch and mean and big and bulky. You can be a super-model and then go beat the daylights out of the volleyball. That is terrific. This sport is just unlike any other one I have ever known, or ever seen. It is a beautiful game, one of teamwork, hard work, perseverance, and determination (oh yeah, and big thing called heart). It is powerful. It is intriguing. It is engaging.

Volleyball .500 on the season...

It's official, my girls at the moment do not have a losing record. We are currently 9-9. We have our last tournament tomorrow...I will be with them for another 12 (long) hours. Then we have a match Monday and Tuesday and its over. I am going to be sad about it I know. I am ready for it to be over, but I know I will miss it tremendously. I have grown to LOVE my girls and the time away from my kids and to get out of the house.

I am so proud of them. Last night they played really really well

Copeland

I write a post like the one below and complain about my HEALTHY babies, and then feel utterly like an idiot and a moron when I read what others are going through today!

May I remember how blessed I am today and always. God bless Conor and Boothe and Sellers. Sweet Copeland has gone home to be with the Lord

Medical Craziness--Creighton!

My sweet baby girl is not well! She has an ear infection still...this is our 3rd round of antibiodics for her. This is the 5th visit to the doctor for her in 1 month. This time we came home with LOADS of medicine and "advice" to help her. She isn't eating, sleeping, and continues to scream with fury in the night!
It seems the doctor thinks she has GERD, reflux, asthma, ear infection, teething, gas, allergies and because of the latter, a runny nose, stuffy nose, cough, chest congestion--and lets not forget when she coughs she pukes! OH MY GOODNESSS>....

REALLY?!!?

She is on SO much medicine it CANNOT be healthy. I am "drugging" her with something all day now and for how long, I have no idea. She is on tylenol/motrin for pain, mylanta for gas and upset stomach, prevacid for GERD/relux, xopenex for asthma/chest congestion, antibiodic for ear infection, allegra for allergies, and one other med for relux/tummy/help her sleep called Levscon...really?! Can this be healthy for my 10 month old?

Good NEWS!

Three cool things happened today:

1) Creighton popped her first tooth through...you can't even SEE it, but I can feel it through the skin, it has broken through, so it's official, she has a tooth!! I didn't take a picture, but you wouldn't see it anyway. I will take one when it is actually visible. Maybe that is why she was A BEAR last night. She was up a lot and actually threw up all over me because she started a coughing fit. Oh well...I hope that was why, except for maybe I don't, because when I looked in her mouth tonight, there were swollen gums everywhere, like 4 or so more might come in this week. Being that it is so late in the game (she's almost 11 months) I bet that'll be what happens! OUCH for all of us if it does.

2) My girls won their game tonight! I don't know what our record is, but atleast we have a W to go off of. We have practice 2 more times, 3 more matches and 1 more tournament!!!! Its almost over. It is bittersweet. I am ready for life to return to normal without it, but I KNOW I will miss it.

3) While I was gone tonight, Jackson did the laundry...by himself. With my cool new front loaders, he can actually get the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer, start the dryer (with a dryer sheet), and turn it on. Jeff said he heard noise back there, and came back there and Jackson was babbling about "audry" (laundry) and was excited...Jeff said there was a dryer sheet in there and NOT ONE piece of clothing left in the washer. What a guy...!!! and what an added bonus to the new machines!!!! Oh, I finally have taught the boy something good. He is always helping me with laundry but now he can jsut do it! :)

Google & the Y

The other day Jeff told a few of my girls to "google" my maiden name for some reason....so I figured I should google it too, to make sure of what they were going to find. Thankfully, in my HS days and even some of my college days, the Internet wasn't anything like it is now. However, I did run across this page (scroll to the very bottom) that made my "google" enjoyable. I had no idea it was there, but it made me smile and remember the good ole days of being a super star athlete. My time is certainly up and I am now only a "has-been" unfortunately....

But, we joined the YMCA this past week and I went to workout for the first time in a VERY long time. I am surprisingly not too sore at the moment, but I haven't really slowed down yet today until now to pump and post! I am sure I will wake up tomorrow with a gimp in my lower extremities as that is what I worked on today. It was way fun...Brittany went with me and I LOVE that because it is so much easier for me to push myself and be committed when someone else is there to hold me accountable.

We were suppose to do cardio-kickmy buttboxing., but apparently I need calendar reading skills, because it is TUE/THU mornings, not MON/WED like I thought and after it took major rearranging of both Jeff and Brittany's schedules to get her there at that time, I felt like a moron! Oh well...we both got in a workout so that was good!

Humiliation and A lot of Wentworth

This weekend Varsity had a tournament and so I was up helping with that. I was peppering (a volleyball skill) with another player and my jeans ripped up the back, completely showing off my granny panties that I had on...like as in the UGLIEST pair of underwear that I own, I just HAPPENED to have on....ugh! It was highly embarassing. I couldn't make it to the bench fast enough to sit down. My whole butt was visible!! The players were DYING laughing at me (certainly I was trying to accomplish the "laugh with me" but it didn't quite work like that).

Embarassing...but my sweet husband brought me up a change of clothes later in the day and until then one of the players let me tie her sweatshirt around my waist.....


On a better note, Jeff and I were able to spend last night without kids...it was nice. However, instead of sleeping the past two nights like I should have been, we've been nailing out 12 episodes (6/night) of Prison Break...oh, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this show...almost as much as 24, and to be honest...it might be equal at the moment. Jack Bauer and Michael Scoffield are my favorite TV characters ever, and Michael is super easy on the eyes, if you know what I mean! Whew! IT is so good. I love it!!! We are in the middle of season 2 and I must say, that they have not dissappointed me so far. Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell are phenomenal. I am addicted like crack cocaine!

Washer/Dryer!

Our dryer broke and so we purchased a new set of both a washer and a dryer, actually not a set, but both a washer and a dryer....We got LG brand of both, but they are different models. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE them....I think I did like 5 loads of laundry in the last two days (maybe 6) but with my old washer/dryer it would have been like 10-12 loads AND my clothes smell better, feel better, look better, ARE better. I love them!

The only thing is that they both have child locks on them...but apparently to MY eldest child there is NO SUCH THING! He figured out how to unlock both of them in 5 seconds and LOVES to play with the buttons because they light up and make noises. And, oh how my child loves buttons!!!!!, (and noise, and lights!)

My Guitar Hero

Jackson loves his new hat his Grammy got him for $1. He wears it a lot and it makes me laugh! It suits his new Rocking persona...

Jeff made Jackson a guitar (or as Jackson calls it "tarrrr") out of wood and electrical wire. We've since added a "strap" with an old American Flag tie of Jeff's. he LOVES his tarrr....and plays wildly all the time. I am going to try to add a video of him...although the best one is on my phone and I can't add it to this (I have no idea how)....

His favorite thing to do with his tarrr is to "ROCK" and he rock he does....he rocks my heart!

this video is embarrassing of me trying to get him to rock by banging my head! and my unmade bed and messy bedroom (and I am certain that the reason I cover up my legs is probably due to the fact I had no shorts on....home videos...gotta love 'em)

Picture update

Jackson and Creighton were playing in her crib together with a "tent" up over the crib....they were so cute I had to get the camera...glad I did!

Here is Creighton playing with her dolls...she is brushing the babies hair, how cute?! She loves them already...it has to be "in" her because I certainly don't "teach" her those things, or for that matter, even really encourage them...and Jackson NEVER did those things...so there is definitely something to the nature vs. nuture argument

I had updated the other day about our volleyball game against Jenks, and said that Creighton had passed out during the last game of Varsity..it was funny, here is the pic! I just noticed that my husband was wearing JENKS colors....:(

Here is Jeff and the kids on our bike ride. The kids LOVE the doodlebug (I HIGHLY recommend this thing!) Creighton is still a little small for it, but she does fine.

another doctor, another ear infection, another broken appliance...

Well again, I didn't think Creighton had an ear infection...probably because I just got finished giving her antibiodics for 10 days ending on Saturday, but we went for her recheck today and she is just a mess! Part of me is glad that there IS something the matter though because that explains her incredibly uncontrollable insconsolable disposition the last few days. She wants her put on breathing treatments because she is wheezing and coughing and rattles when she breathes, another (different) antibiodic for her 5th ear infection in 6 months, and ear drops because she cut her ear inside while checking it out today, not to mention the LOADS of tylenol/motrin I give her because she is cutting 25 teeth really only probably 4-6 at the same time! Poor kid! I'd be grumpy too!

Our water heater is broken, so I had a cold shower today and the kids went to bed dirty! Seriously, HOW MANY THINGS will we really have to replace this year...everything it is seeming! And all within such a short amount of time, and Jeff's school loans start coming November....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....if only this world wasn't run by money

Nikao went well and 3 of my freshmen girls were there! yeah! yeah! yeah! I had my first small group of the year and there were 4 juniors...I think they will be fun. It is going to be a challenge to say the least because of the varying personalities/places in life each of them are at, but it will be good! I like them already!

Too tired to write anymore...goodnight

Long day, good day, big win!

Today was a bit different day for me. I got up at 6 and fed Creighton and then got ready for the day and was out the door by 6:40 and got breakfast and was at the court house before 7a. I sat outside in the cold until 7:50(yes, the first morning of fall! ) how on earth would I really know, it could always be that cold at the hour, but I AM NEVER EVER OUT then. I was blessed by the sunrise (which I never usually see) and I did my bible study before I even left (did it while I pumped, since Jeff was sleeping I couldn't use the computer :)). Well, as we were entering, the very grumpy lady informed us the judge wouldn't be in today, so we'd have to reschedule or come back on Thursday if we needed to see him. (um, who comes to court that DOESN'T need to see the judge?) So, I was THE first one there and sat outside FOREVER in the cold, for nada! I have to REDO it on Thursday morning.

Anyway, I made it to bible study and that went well for the most part, and then on the way home I decided I needed to take advantage of the cooler weather and take my kids to the park...so we went and met Kara and the girls there...and there were lots of other mommies and kids there too...some I knew, some not. It was going great. It was the first time I can remember going to the park and not having to keep my eye on Jackson and help him constantly...he was fine to be "a big boy" and I watched Creighton...it is so much easier only having to "hawk" one of them instead of two at the same time. Things were going great, until Jackson fell and accidentally got ran over by a stroller at the same time (it is TOTALLY okay Casey! :)) I thought he just hurt his hand, but he dislocated his elbow, AGAIN! I knew he was more susceptible to doing it again because he just did it recently. It was as if I was torturing the kid to get his arm in and out of the carseat...I thought I was going to have to leave him in there at home, because he just wailed in pain every time I tried to move it. But eventually he moved in a certain way (after lots of tylenol) and it must have relocated itself because he was fine, and now you wouldn't even know! Weird...glad that I didn't have to take him to the Dr. since we are going tomorrow though!

Both kids took a nap at the same time after lunch and I got a small 30 minute half nap/rest which was nice and then I darted off to the gym. I half expected us to lose because I had heard that Jenks was really good this year...and that being my alma mater and such....I just wasn't sure, but my girls showed up, and showed up ready....they beat them in 2, even with my second string in the second game! That was nice. JV pulled off a win in 3, but Varsity lost in 3 and one of the Seniors quit after the match! It was so silly all of that drama....good ridence is what I have to say...I don't like quiters much...needless to say I am disappointed in her decision, but ceratainly think that now that an attitude is gone, maybe we'll do something better than what we've done!

So we are now 6-7 on the season and that is great news! They actually looked good tonight too! I am tired though, so I am excited its only 10 and hopefully I will get to sleep tonight!

Oh yes, my husband....he's wonderful. He managed to make it to the game...with both kids, alive, dressed and with a poster cheering me on in hand. He stayed the ENTIRE evening...with both kids...Creighton fell asleep during the last game of Varsity match, only goodness knows how the crowd was screaming so loud the whole time...but she was PASSED OUT! He is pretty amazing...

Boring Details...Good day

Today has been a good day. Creighton is teething horrifically, but (by prayer alone) she slept decent last night only getting up at 12 and 6 and 8. (atleast that is the only times I heard her, because I put my fan on in my room, so that I wouldn't hear her if she did wake up :-/)So, I fed her at 6 and then at 8 and then somehow got her to go back down till I woke her up at 9 for school. Jackson slept wonderfully last night also and didn't get up till about 8:50 this morning, and was in a pretty good mood. He was so cute last night! I put him in boxer briefs like his Daddy and he was so proud!---did I mention it was the cutest thing ever! (of course they were over his diaper, but that is fine!)

I dropped them off at school today (late a little bit) and then came home and got some of my bible study done and then I got a call to come play volleyball! It was fun and I taught a lady how to serve! :) Then I came home and picked up the kitchen and cooked dinner for tonight, and did laundry and the dishes! It is amazing how much you can get done when you aren't so tired that you have to try to figure out how to fit a nap in day. I feel good. I have practice tonight, but our softball games are cancelled because of the rain...oh well. My mom and dad have been on a cruise for a week and a half and so I think they are coming up for dinner and to play with the kids and that will be more fun anyway!

I MIGHT get paid this month my little stipend for coaching...but it may be next month...but the fact that its in the system, that is a good enough start for me.

One incredibly long day!

I didn't go to bed till 12:45 last night, and I was up at 4am because of Jeff and Creighton (Jeff woke me up, and then 10 minutes later she was crying!) I got back to bed at 5 but never fell asleep and my alarm went off at 6:20 and I was up getting ready (and nursing her again!) and the bus left a little after 7 and we made it there with plenty of time to spare.

My girls were in a really tough pool, but we ended up winning the last game against Broken Arrow's B team. So we finished 3rd in pool. Then we played the first bracket game and won (although they certainly tried several times to give it to the other team...thankfully, we pulled it off.) Then we were in the Championship game for the Consolation (Silver) Bracket...and we WON! We played the BA Bteam that we had beat earlier (soundly) but this time, it wasn't so sound...not even close. We took it to 3 games and missed more serves than I ever though possible....I was shocked that we pulled it off, but we did...and I am one proud coach! They had a long day....I am so tired my eyes are BURNING, but I am happy. I got to spend some GREAT tme with one of my small group girls that joined me for the tournament (to help coach)....and also with some of my girls...I really like them! Sometimes they frustrate me like only another coach would understnad, but I love them....and I love coaching....actually itis a love/hate relationship....sometimes, there is nowhere I'd rather not be and sometimes, I love being there.

We made it home about 8:45...too long too long! Ready for bed very very very soon...hope everyone else around here is!

I pumped so much today I HATE PUMPING! But I must say that I am really rather sad that I have to give "my" pump back to the lady it belongs to (she is having another baby this month). It makes me sad, really sad! I am attached to the dumb thing. It is a VITAL part of my day and a really good excuse to be on the computer :). ...I have pumped twice a day everyday (if not more) for the last almost 2 years or so....I love nursing my babies and it is sad that this time in life is almost over...the thought of giving it back makes me weepy....why is it when I hate pumping so much, I don't know!?


Before the tournament we were 2-5 and now we are 5-7!

AHHHH....

I am glad that I realized my need for an eternal perspective with my girls PRIOR to last night's match. They sucked it up pretty good. I was more than a little upset with them after the match. I think I scared them a little. I hope it was just enough and not too much. Going from Division 1 Volleyball to small town Oklahoma High School Freshmen is a super-challenge for me! We had practice today and it went well...I wish it had lasted longer though because we didn't get to everything I had wanted to do...we have a tournament all day tomorrow (and when I say ALL day, I mean ALL day...) we are leaving at 6:45a and probably not returning till atleast 7p. I am really nervous about it, more for their confidence sake than my ego, but only slightly. We are down our best passer and one of our hitters (and a good passer) will be out for most of the day. Oh the terror this brings me!

I am missing my kids because I am gone so much, although they have each done their faire share of driving me nuts at the same time, making it easier than it should be to walk out to practice or games each day. Thankfully Jeff is such an incredible Daddy to them and loves spending time with them and isn't afraid to be with them alone. He is really really great. (thank you baby!)

Today we went on a bike ride all four of us together. I was on Jeff's old bike, and he was on his new one with the two babies in the bike trailer attached to him. It was way fun! I would like to get a bike of my own that actually fits me though, because I can't even reach the ground on his...and I don't feel comfortable riding it. I haven't ridden a bike in so long though, that my butt hurts so bad right now! It was really great to be doing something together as a family though! Ususally Jeff and Jackson go just the two of them....Creighton did great. She actually fell asleep on the way back home even! I should have taken a picture, but I didn't!

I think Creighton is teething ferociously at the moment! She was so cranky today and rather inconsolable at times. I know that is hard on Jeff and he has her all day tomorrow...so pray that she is her happy self for him!

This week has felt crazy, but next week is even worse! Sunday is the normal Sunday-busy, then Monday, I have practice 3-5:30 and then softball from 6-8. Tuesday we have a home game so I am gone 3-8, then Wednesday we have church and the kids are in Mothers Day Out (praise the Lord) and they both have ear rechecks that afternoon and I also have practice. Then Thursday the team leaves at 12 to go to Enid (and me too) and Jeff and the kids (God help them) are driving down seperate to come and we are staying through the weekend till late Saturday and coming back to church on Sunday. Whew...I get tired just thinking about it!

awesomeness

I am just filled with JOY--true JOY. God is awesome. I love it! He has really put some of my freshmen on my heart to really pour into and pray for and minister to and tonight I got to do that outside of volleyball. It has made it ALL (the hours, the no pay, the stress, the tiredness, the losses, the wins, all of it) worth it. It doesn't matter what I teach them really as far as volleyball is concerned...I care, but that isn't what matters most. I am now (I am a super slow learner) realizing that...for the first time.
I am so thankful that the Lord put in me a desire and an ability to play volleyball, because it is with that and through that, that I am making some really neat relationships and really getting to plant seeds...as for the soil, I think it is open and willing, and I am so thrilled to see what happens, even if I don't find out on this side of heaven. I love sports, but to be able to play(coach) AND minister and love on kids who need and want it, now that is just awesome!
6 volleyball players were at Nikao tonight!
Thank you Lord!

Volleyball...

Volleyball:
We won our 2nd match last night! They did great! They are finally getting the game a little more and where they are suppose to be (atleast most of them, some of the time). The team we played was horrible, but that is okay. I will take a "W" any day. We play BA tomorrow and it depends on which team we play (they have 2) and also which of my team shows up: the ready to play with confidence or the not ready to play and lazy. We'll see. I really am enjoying coaching...not just because we won yesterday, but because A) I really love the game of volleyball B) I am making neat relationships (ministry) with my team C) They ARE improving!

We didn't get home last night till 12:30 or later...I was one of the first out of the parking lot...it was WAAAAYYYYY too late for me...we left at 12:30...that is 12 HOURS with them....wow. Oh well. It was fun....I think now we are 2-4 (and one of the losses, we won one of the games, just not the match)...so we are doing okay....not great, but atleast we aren't 0-6!

August Picture Update

Not the best picture, but if you could see the two of them (Jeff and Jackson) dressed the same, you would die. They are identical and those are the new Nikao shirts this year...so they had the same outfit on Wednesday for the kick-off party! :O)

I ABSOLUTELY adore this girl! (and this pic)

Don't know why but she loves to play with my glasses. She was so cute and happy that night!

Here are my cakeballs that I mentioned on here a while back!

Bathtime...usually occurs together. Creighton LOVES being in the water and Jackson LOVES making the water change colors...

This was our anniversary/Jeff's birthday dinner (yeah for Jarrett Farms)! Yeah for dates with no kids! Yeah for my awesome husband! Yeah for having makeup and jewelry on...(that never happens anymore)

I am starting them both early--to love the volleyball...:)

Sibling love....gotta love it! I enjoy watching them play together...they really do love one another!

My sweet girl..showing off the Baby Bjorn we are trying to sell in the garage sale! (we still haven't sold it yet).

I figure Uncle Clay would be so proud...he starting early...climbing with Pop!

Here is Jackson playing at the waterpark in Enid with his Grammy and Pop...doesn't he look so big?!

The Torch---a red candle

This morning at church they did the candle lighting early in the service before the sermon. I was kind of finding my seat (late), and getting situated and not focused yet in my worship at all (still people watching and reading the update). Anyway, as I realized what they were doing, I stopped and looked and up at the alter I saw it, one red candle...then as I had spotted that one, I saw a whole family (mom, dad, 2 kids) coming up with a red candle together. It was awesome. I cried happy and joyful tears...the feeling was great...and I thought to myself, "THIS will NEVER get old..." it was just good...a feel good, is good, good.

However, like merely 5 seconds later, they popped a picture of Peggy Pruitt on the big screen. (She was an incredible lady within our church who has been struggling with breast cancer for a long time and here just recently had taken a major turn for the worse. I knew she'd been in the hospital for these past 2 weeks or so and that here recently they'd only given her a few days to live.) I knew immediately why, but was so confused that I hadn't known ahead of time (that is one of the privileges of being a minister's wife is that you find things out earlier than the entire congregation). I was immediately just heartbroken for Randy, her husband, and just for the death of someone. I know I have mentioned on here before that I dont' handle death well, and I still don't...but it got me thinking, that I really have been in such a valley that my compassion for otehrs was at an all time low, or really non-existent. When things would happen around the world and be reported on the news, I wouldn't even skip a beat. It was as if I didn't care because it didn't effect me personally or directly. Now that I am back where I should be and my heart is un-hardened...it hurts. Being compassionate hurts. I don't (certainly) want to go back to my hard-heart, but man, I have forgotten what it feels like to hurt for people (other than myself...I have gotten too good at that)....the pain I feel is immense. I try to put myself in the people's shoes and I can't wrap my heart and head around the amount of pain I imagine them to be feeling. Hurts isn't a strong enough word. I don't knwo what I'd do if I lost my spouse...Do you feel anything for the pain has to be SO intense. Oh, I am just in shambles right now inside...I don't do this thing well. Are we even suppose to? Peggy was an amazing rock and woman of God...(I really didn't know her personally) but you could tell and that is what everyone always said and says about her. She radiated the Lord's love and served always...even through her pain and cancer and treatment and all of that...she served...and with a smile.

I think the only thing that got me through it enough to be able to walk out of the service without melting into a puddle of tears, was that there were red candles...people to take the torch from Peggy. She would want it that way...she would want the praise team to SING louder and longer, not stop for her. She wants more red candles...people to live a life worthy of the calling, just like she did. To live strong till the last breath...just. like. she. did.

Playing catch up.

Well, the doctor saw both kids yesterday at 10:30. Jackson seemed to be doing better and hadn't run a fever since 1am. So that was good. She thought his infections (although present) were not as big of a deal as the doctor the other night made them out to be. With the antibiodics, she thought he'd be just fine. But to watch him closely just in case ANY sign of progression or worsening (is that really a word?). She gave us a new antiB for Jackson because he couldn't/wouldn't keep the other one down. Creighton got checked out and thankfully she just has an ear infection. (the one time I DO NOT think she has an ear infection, she does...but I am certainly thankful she doesn't have pneumonia, however mild Jackson's case may or may not be). So, back to the drug store for more Anti Bs for 2 kids. I fight both of them to take theirs, and again, Jackson will NOT keep it in/down, so I call the doctor at 3:45 and she has me bring him BACK to get a shot of antiB (if that is available SERIOUSLY why do they not JUST DO THAT THE FIRST TIME! instead of me fighting wrestling an alligator would be easier him twice a day for 10 days!!). Anyway, the shots went okay, he cried pretty hard and his legs went numb and he couldn't walk...and then all that for them to tell me because of the amount of infections in his body he STILL had to take the antiBs by mouth for the next 10 days (starting tonight, so it bought me a whole 24 hours of not fighting him). UGHH! Oh well.

Right now, he is in Enid with his Daddy and his best friend POP! (jeff's step dad). He LOVES POP and asks for him all the time. We weren't going to send him, but the poor kid was traumatized all day and all night the night before and POP was ALL that he wanted. Literally, on our way home from the shots he WOULD. NOT. GET. OUT. OF. THE. CAR. He just kept insisting on "POP! HOME!" (meaning I want to go to Pop's house)....if he could've said I will not get out of this car until I see my Pop, I think he would've been screaming that at us. He wouldn't let us touch the car seat buckles...he was holding them and wouldn't let us get him out. So Jeff quickly packed up the bags and drove to Enid. I told him that he needed to probably let Jackson out every 30 minutes to let his legs stretch (because that is what the dr. said, they'd get stiff from the shots after 3 hours in the car) but when Jeff tried to get him out to do that he WOULD. NOT. GET. OUT. OF. THE. CAR. until he saw his POP...so trudged to Enid all the way and literally the second they saw Pop come out of the garage, Jeff said Jackson just went nuts....excited....legs RUNNING in place so fast like as if he was Dash from the incredibles and smiles and squeals of excitement until he could barely get him out of the car for Jackson's excitement sake. He said he is a totally different kid and you would NEVER know anything was wrong and he is as happy as a lark and is going 90 miles an hour. Oh that boy!

Creighton and I are in Bville alone and it is nice. She didn't have a great night because she got up at 1 or so and puked (from coughing) and then dry heaved for the next hour and then I finally got her to sleep alittle after 2 and then she was up again shortly after but I let her cry it out (for only like 2 minutes) and she went back to sleep, then wasup at 4 I think and I nursed her and she went back to sleep and then was up at 7 and back down and then up at 8, and I brought her to bed with me and she nursed straight from 8-9 and then fell asleep till almost 10. But I was asleep while she was nursing andI think she was too. Anyway, I am tired, but I am glad I got to stay in bed till 10. It was so sweet to wake up next to her and she was ALL smiles and giggles and gave me a HUGE hug that was way worth all the effort (by myself) to care for her in the night. This too shall pass...and I will miss her sweet toothless grin and giggles.

We went to lunch with one of my past small group girls today and that was fun! She is a good kid! I love her and it was good to get out of the house, but I realized on my way there that I hadn't brushed my teeth all day (she called at 11:23 and said they were going at 11:30)...and I stunk from being up and down and puked on and hadn't showered, but that's why I love Dani, because she didn't care :)

Jeff rode in a bike race this morning in Enid at 7:30a and it was like 22 miles. I am surprised he made it (not because he is a wimp) but just because he hasn't been riding in quite some time and has been sick this week. But he made it without even stopping....so proud....I think! :)

He is coming back without Jackson this afternoon (Jackson will come back Monday). I am excited for just him and I (and Creighton ) to spend time together.

As for my attitude yesterday, it wasn't so good. I tried my hardest to keep it together but meds all over me and the floor and my kids and 2 trips to the doctor and 2 trips to the pharmacy and I was done....I should have stopped and bathed in prayer, but I didn't...I went straight back to selfish and negative outlook mode and I lost it a few times. Oh why can't I just figure it out that I ca'nt do it on my own?! Oh well, I am learning, it is just taking a while. I am in better spirits today. Off to maybe take a little rest while C is napping.

One crazy day!

Today was a bit crazy to say the least. It had good moments and horrible ones, but I am quite proud to say that through them all I kept my cool and a decent and non-complaining attitude...that is a big deal in my world! :)

The not so good notes of today:
Jackson has pnemonia, possible strep throat, a throat infection, and an ear infection! AHHHH...we were at the minor emergency care center for 3 hours and after 30 minutes at Walgreens in Bartlesville, I had to meet my wonderful mom half way between Owasso and Bville to get the prescription for him at 11:30 at night (from the Walgreens in Owasso).

Jackson threw up on me once and Jeff once and Creighton threw up on me tonight too and then managed somehow to pass out in it, and then slop it up in my face and IN my eye! EWWW

Ladies Night Out (that I planned) was tonight...it started at 6:30 and I showed up at 9, had to leave at 9:40 to go the Rx from Walgreens that closed at 10, only to have a major hassle with that, to come back to LNO, to leave early from LNO to go meet my mom in Ramona to get the Rx and to bring it back to Jackson (to have him throw it up immediately all over us).

I plan to call the real doctor tomorrow to see if she wants to see Creighton for the same run of the mill tests and such that we spent 3+ hours doing wiht Jackson at the Immediate Care After Hours....ugh

Good news:
I got a new pair of shoes today that are pretty cute and best of all FREE! The Bville volleyball team got them for me and a cool polo.

My ticket from yesterday---I went back today to practice and on my way noticed the school zone sign that CLEARLY says 8:30-3:30 not 4:00 like the crazy police officer said and wrote me a ticket for after 3:30...so I think I can get out of it! :)

Jeff has tomorrow off...yeah for help with 2 sick kids. He was suppose to take Jax to Enid for the long weekend, and I don't know if that will happen now or not...I kinda doubt it.

Not defeated, but pretty bummed

I knew that because of my willingness and pursuit of God and to be changed that the devil would try all of his best moves to get me, to get to me, to knock me down....well I must say, at most of the "tests" today I probably failed, but as he certainly aided in knocking me down, he didn't knock me out and I am still here, still ready, still runnnnnnning to the cross. I must say that I am a little nervous because I dont really want to fight Satan in the process, but I also know that if Satan isn't involved in trying to defeat me, then I must not be running hard enough to the cross. I know that he doesn't like it for one second that I have come out of the chains he led me to believe I was in. I am free. I will not be binded by who I was, the old me, the habits of my sinful nature. But like I said, in my mini quizzes today, some of the time I faired well and the others I failed miserably. I do know that my God is bigger than Satan and that He (God) is looking out for me and helping me and guiding me through this because of my dust-yourself-off-get-back-up-and-do-better-next-time attitude and approach today. I will be the first person to know and tell you when I screw up, but it is unlike me to not let that get to me. I kinda like this newness!
One of my failures was that I got a speeding ticket today. I am horrible at obeying that ONE law. It seems like on everythign else I am OVERboard strict on, but Satan has definitely led me to believe that "a little over" won't hurt anything, to which that has grown to my incredibly heavy lead foot! I was caught red handed (not paying attention) and going 41 in a 20 mph school zone. (to my defense, it was 40 when it isn't a school time (and i was 12 minutes shy of being out of that time frame)). But I was very upset by this and thought some things I shouldn't have and when I made it to the gym (20 minutes late) I said a word that could have ruined my witness completely with one of my players the Lord has placed on my heart to really reach out to...I hate that THE MOST of today...well...
actually I was pretty ugly to my husband today and I actually hate that all the more!

Being vulnerable isn't easy for me, but I have seen over the course of the last month that honesty and humility is just what THE Doctor ordered for me....so there you go!

Here is to hoping that whatever Satan throws my way tomorrow, I can handle with a Galatians 5:22 heart/attitude/character.

Seeking God

I am doing a new fall study as of this morning. It is called Seeking God--about personal revival. Man, do I ever need personal revival. I, as of just this past week or so, am getting out of the biggest spiritual valley I have ever been in prior to beginning of my salvation at 19. I know this is THE study that God wants me in right now and He has already begun a good work in me...I am excited! That is a HUGE thing for me right now. He taught me a lot just this morning in 30 minutes or so. I am truly thrilled to be where I am...open, broken, ready to be plowed, harrowed, receive seed, be watered and hopefully grow! I know that God will and can do big things with and through me if I will let Him. But I just haven't let him in so long. I am excited to see where this leads and what turns and bumps and hills and valleys come up ahead. It will be neat, not neat in the structure and way it goes I am sure, but neat in that God's ways are huge and big and exciting...
Oh please pray for me. God is on to something big here...and I get to be a part...I want to be a part, but I know me...and without prayer, this thing won't happen. So, please join in praying for me, for my heart, for my part in whatever it is God has up His sleeve :)

Me-A Ministry Wife

As a youth minister's wife, I appreciate this more than (whoever) Mr. Lucas (is) will ever know.

Gag reflexes

Both of my kids have incredibly sensitive gag reflexes...so, when they get a cough, it is an awful thing. Please pray for me this week (or next 6-8 weeks according to the doctor) because both of my kids have a nagging cough...and therefore, there is mass vomitting. They are sick, in fact, after they get the mucus up, they are happy as can be and you'd never know they just puked all over me. They are fine and then they cough and I wish I could run for cover, but I can't, I have to take it all...on me...because it is easier to clean me up than them, the carpet, the bedding, the toys and anything else they mighthit on the way out.
We struggled through this with Jackson for what seemed an ETERNITY last winter-spring, and I was hoping Creighton would NOT be the same, but so far as of this morning at 6am, she is the exact same. Jackson's cough isn't nearly as bad, and I am hoping it doesn't get bad....two pukers at once is more than I am confident in handling.
Itis just crazy. They don't act tired or sick or run fevers or anything. Just out of the blue they will get a little tickle in their throat and then bam! its a little crazy for like 30 seconds and its like it never happened to them....(they doh'nt have to clean up...)
I hate it, I really do! My cleaning up after some friends in college after making poor choices was enough for me...do I really have to have TWO kids with this issue!?
Okay, I am done complaining...they are wonderful kids and I am blessed to have them...I am just so tired right now and I should be in bed now anyway...goodnight all!

A red candle

For quite some time our church has been doing this thing after the sermon where you can light a candle if you wish if God has answered a prayer for you this week. Well, today they added a new addition to that--in that if you, or someone you know, has accepted Christ for the first time, then you can light a red candle. I cannot tell you how emotional I got EACH time a red candle was lit and placed on teh alter...it was amazing! Young kids and older adults...it was fantastic. After several were laid there I asked the Lord for one more....it took like 10 minutes and at the very last second a little boy rose from behind us and came forward witha red candle! I was amazed at the Lord and his sweet and gentleness to that little boy and to me. It was such a neat blessing to me. I had chills and tears for the remainder of our time in worship...I love it! I love it! It was also, just a neat time for me and the Lord...I am so thankful that when things often don't seem to still be 'fresh' and 'new' and alive that they ARE...this world is so much bigger than just me--I needed a fresh and new reminder of that today adn I received it. Thank you Lord

Today's random happenings!

I hope to be able to post pictures again soon. We lost all the ones that I hadn't transfered to the external hardrive and I don't think we've put any new ones on the new computer...so sad! OH well. There are several cute ones of the two of them together and individually. I just need to do it!
I didn't post about Mother's Day Out and I was so excited about it...this past week was just a whirlwind. Volleyball has been really stressful and this past week was a busy week with it. I hope it gets a lot less stressful for me...but even more, I hope it gets less stressful on my family! Anyway, back to MDO...I love it. I was really worried about changing the kids to a new place but they have adjusted wonderfully and Jackson likes Miss Nadiene and is in Emma's class which is nice. The first second he saw her, he ran up to her and gave her a hug. It was funny because I don't think she'd even noticed him or turned around to see who it was that was hugging her...it was funny! He calls Miss Nadiene "ih naeen"...I love it!

Creighton did really well the first day and although a bit more fussy the next day she took a 2 hour nap that day...can't complain there that is WAYYY more than she naps at home. I like her teacher too.

Creighton is doing a bit better at night now although still not perfect. I am getting a bit more sleep now though which is nice. Now if I can just get them both to sleep through the night in their own beds on the same night0--that might just be a miracle...but one I am willing to wait for.

Creighton is taking lots more steps but she's definitely not walking yet. She is way too fast at crawling. She is super sweet. She has found her baby dolls (the two we have) adn loves to kiss on them. She is smart! She is saying Mama, Dada, bye bye, hi, and baby now. I think she says a few more things but I haven't quite figured out exactly what it is yet. She is getting so big! Her hair is getting longer too and it makes her look totally different. I can't wait to put it in pigtails!

Jackson is all boy, all the time! I love it most of the time. I have two very athletic kids in that they both love to climb on everything! Jackson's of course are a bit more dangerous and higher than C's at the moment. He is super smart and really into anything electronic/mechanical...anythign that requires him to "figure it out"--how to push buttons, how to make it work, how to make something happen...he's allover it! I love it. There isn't much he can't eventually figure out. He knows how to make the MP3 player on my phone work---I barely know how and certainly didn't teach him. He dances to the songs when he gets them to come on and it is hysterical! He is certainly all white boy if you get my drift. He is saying lots and lots of things now and forming sentences (not really long ones yet though). I can understand most of what comes out of his mouth when he is talking to me...but sometimes he is carrying on a conversation with noone and I can't understand a word of it...it is like mumbles and/or another language...weird....but he acts like he knows what he is saying :) and I gues that's all that matters.

Creighton is going nuts I have to go...:)

Well, crud!

So today was Jeff's birthday. I wanted it to be so special, but seems that I faulted in that area. The original plan was to send him to TUlsa for an all day at the movies adventure staying there from open to close...that was exactly what he wanted...I should have just stuck with the plan. However the movies that he wanted to see (that he waited all summer to see for his birthday movie day) were no longer at the big movie theater but now all at the dollar movies. Well, I decided to scratch that plan andgo with this:

Sleep in
Get a massage
Go to lunch with Family
Get cards, special cake, a card and art from jackson
Play nintendo while kids napped (and I went to volleyball)
Go to dinner with either me or someone else or family
Go to Discount THeater in Bville to see ONE of the movies he'd waited all summer to see
Then go to dinner on Saturday at a nice restaurant just he and I....

Well, here is how the day really went:
Came to bed at 4am (Jeff)
Sleep in (with Jackson in bed with us)
Decides 10 minutes before massage appt. he didn't want it (a little commotion)
Takes Jackson on a bike ride to Blockbuster (with intention to come home and go to library and lunch after C wakes up)
Neither of those two things happen
Commotion--a little more commotion
Jeff goes to Library alone with a 25 minute time limit and leaves me at home with two CRANKY kids who need to eat, take a nap, a mom who needs to eat, shower, pump, and get dressed and ready for a volleyball game (all in 35 minutes) NONE of that went well, so upon arrival---
COMMOTION CENTRAL
Mom leaves for vball a lot frazzled, Jackson wakes up 15 minutes after I leave, no lunch and no video game time for dad...Creighton wakes up shortly after.
Mom loses volleyball game and leaves gym early to come to eat dinner with family (but that didn't work out AT ALL).

MORE MAJOR COMMOTION LIKE YOU WOULDN"T BELIEVE

Me in tears, Jeff having worst birthday ever
Me leaving to try to figure out how in the world to turn the day around, so I start calling every kid I know to throw an impromtu suprise party (this is 7:20) at 8pm (on a school night) and so I run to Maggie Moo's to get a cake (ice cream cake, yes) and bring it home and there are maybe 6 kids here and 2 came later....

Now the kids are in bed and I am almost finished pumping and I have no idea if he enjoyed it at all because we haven't had the opportunity to talk quite yet amidst all the chaos since all the kids that came (minus the two late ones) came before I arrived...lets just say, I hope he wasn't in his boxers with a trashed house...(he was dressed and the house was mildly clean when I arrived).

Oh man, its been a day...

Happy Birthday Baby

Jeff,
You are the love of my life. I am so thrilled to be your wife. I love you with all that I am and I am blessed tremendously by you daily! I am excited to grow old with you, although you always get there before I do each year :P

You are such a sweet man, a sweet servant, a true disciple of Christ, a truly Godly man. I am more passionately in love with you today than I was yesterday and I know that tomorrow I will say the same thing. I love watching you with our children....your tender heart and sweet spirit, but yet, they know your authority and love through your discipline when its needed. Thank you for leading our family with grace, love, mercy, and hope! You are all that I desire in this world. Thank you for honoring me and trusting me and loving me the way you do.

I hope that this year your birthday is one that you can reflect on with nothing but positive memories and special times. You deserve a wonder-filled day and I am excited that I have a few things to help it be special. Know we (the kids and I) wish we could do more to show you just how much we love you...

Happy Birthday Baby! I love you,
Courtney
XOXO

Today's random happenings!

Tomorrow is Jeff's birthday! He will be 28~that is old! :)

On a sad note though, Jeff's cousin Ted has been serving our country over in Iraq for quite some time now and we just got word yesterday that he was shot in the arm. He had to have surgery and all types of meds/doctors. It is really sad, but I think he is doing okay now....as well as you can be when you get SHOT! So if you think of it, keep him in your prayers.

We have another home game tomorrow! I really like HOME games...travel = yuck! Owasso is pretty good so I have heard so I hope that we don't get stomped. It is our first freshman only game....so far they have been JVB--meaning that we have 4 JV players come "down" to help us out...4/6 is a good number....we'll see how we do without them tomorrow....I think they'll be fine.

Tonight was Jeff's youth group (Grace Community Church) big kick-off. Normally we expect 100 or more (a few years ago closer to 200) this time we only had 70. But it was good anyway. I think that Satan was definitely trying to get his foot in the door because all the power went out prior to 6:30 and then it screwed up all the electronics/media/sound/music stuff for the entirety of the program...which really stunk, but oh well. That was the big mishap of the evening, which is pretty big, but that is okay. Lots of kids went home with Tshirts and stuff and hopefully they'll all come back!

I am tired! I wasn't at home today for more than like 3 hours and none of that was consecutive for more than 45 minutes. Goodnight.

Volleyball

Okay, so Monday was INSANE and I didn't have the opportunity to blog about it, but I will now. We had a game that was scheduled at 5 for Freshman, 6 for JV and 7 for Varsity in Edmond North (which is about 3 hours away from Bartlesville). We are suppose to leave at 1 o'clock but the Head Coach's sub didn't show up on time, so we were late getting started. But once we did get on the road, everything seemed fine. We get about an hour and 45 minutes down towards OKC and the bus breaks down. As in it literally just STOPPED on the road and wouldn't start. Thankfully we were going about 70 miles an hour so it gave him about 300 yards to try to get the bus off the road before it just wouldn't go another inch. We were inches from the right lane and on a turnpike where most cars and semis are going at least 75 if not 90. They were narrowly missing us everytime they'd pass. We were stuck between two bridges on about 60 yard stretch of half shoulder. (Need I remind you that we had 3 coaches and 34 players on a SCHOOL YELLOW BUS). There was no water, no food (unless you brought your own) no air conditioning and 37 hot bodies needing to pee, change out of hot jeans/pants/school clothes.
They called the bus barn and they said they'd send a bus. The bus didn't show up till 5:47! We sat on the side of the road for an eternity. Oh yeah, didn't remember to mention up there, but I had a huge clogged milk duct in my breast and was way due for a pumping right about the time we broke down...(with no electricity) and no baby. That is another story...
In the mean time, the girls were great and didn't complain too much. Some of the parents that were on the way to the game stopped by and took some of the girls back, so after about an hour or so we were down to 24 players. Really...they took all the upper classmen and left ALL of the freshmen and a 2 sophomores.
Then the state trooper comes up with lights all flashing (after we'd been sitting for an hour and 45 minutes) and told us we needed to be evacuated from the bus "immediately"...did he forget the part that we'd already been sitting for almost 2 hours. It seemed that up ahead a power line fell and started a fire and we were unsafe (as if we were really safe without the fire because of how and where the bus broke down).
So, one parent who had been with us the whole time, packed 10 of us in her car like sardines LITERALLY and took us to McDonalds about 10 minutes up from the breakdown and the rest of the girls and the rest of the coaches were waiting on city/state vehicles to evacuate them from the site. Well there weren't enough adults or coaches to go around so some of the vehicles only had girls (need I remind you all 15-16 years old) in them. When they get to the McDonalds they inform me that their "driver" had porn in his truck adn they were really terrified and nervous and scared (who wouldn't be?!). SO that is great! All of them finally make it, except for the head coach who is still back at the bus waiting on the tow truck to come. This is about 5:10 when they all show up. About 5:30 the head coach comes in the trooper car and the bus shows up shortly afterward and we all pile on to HEAD TO BARTLESVILLE...yes, after all that we didn't even go to Edmond, we just turned around and went home! We got home at 8:20ish or so. So, that was insane!

But ON BETTER NEWS!....
We won tonight. We had a home match against Collinsville and it went well. We beat them in two games and I got ALL of my girls in--all 15 of them! That is a lot of players to play if you don't knwo anything about volleyball because only 6 can be on the court at any given time. Certainly not all equal, but fair! I was so proud! We are now 1-2 record on the season...and part of me is glad we didn't make it to Edmond North, because they are good (3rd in the state) and I have a feeling our record wouldn't look nearly that good had we played.
Anyway, that is my crazy volleyball story for now! I probably left out some details but that is good enough

Ridiculously Yummy

Cake Balls (sorry for not a more original name) (makes 55-60 balls)

You will need:
wax paper
2 cookie sheets
1 box of Cake (any flavor) (and whatever ingredients are necessary from box directions)
1 tub of Frosting (not whipped)
1 package White Almond Bark
a small cookie scoop
a dipper (easter egg dipper works best)

(Edited to add: you really will only need one package of Almond Bark, but be careful to not heat it too fast (too hot) or it will caramelize and you will need 2 (and the coating will be really thick))

Bake any flavor, any brand cake you like according to box instructions. Immediately pour one (regular size frosting tub and not the whipped kind) can of frosting into center of cake upon removing from oven. Then stir like crazy until all frosting and cake are well mixed together--this part won't look too appetizing in the process, but just make sure all the cake is "wet looking" with frosting and not dry.

Then place in the refigerator until completely cooled. Then make small balls (use small cookie scoop if you have one) with cakefrosting mixture and place on wax paper (on a cookie sheet). Then place in freezer for 30 minutes (or until cold). This usually takes two pans (makes about 55-60 balls)

Melt one package of white almond bark in microwave according to package directions and remove balls from freezer (one pan at a time). Dip each ball into melted almond bark using dipper of choice (hands are possible if that is all you have, do one half, let it set and then do the other) and place back onto wax paper. You will need one pkg. almond bark for half of the balls and another pkg. for the other half. After one pan is complete, put that pan back in freezer while you start dipping the other half (in the new almond bark). If you desire you can then make them "pretty" by melting a hershey bar and decorate the balls (but this isn't necessary, only for appearances sake). They are then ready to eatand need to be stored in an air tight container in the refigerator (use the wax paper to keep them seperate). ENJOY!

My mom has made lemon and strawberry and I have made chocolate...all of those are yummy. I only put the hershey on the chocolate ones. I used Betty Crocker Milk Chocolate Cake and Milk Chocolate Frosting. With the lemon and strawberry cakes, I think she used vanilla frosting.

Randomness

Church was really good today. I went with an open heart and a willing heart. Its been some time since I went with that kind of heart. Satan was doing everything he could do distract me, and sometimes I was, but for the most part I was really connected to what was going on and listening and trying to apply. It was on prayer and I KNOW that I need more work in that area than most all else in my life, especially my spiritual walk. I am just not a prayer warrior. I don't know why, and to be honest I don't know how I am not...because being a minister's wife and a mommy leaves me little not to be praying for. However, I struggle here, and so I was challenged and enlightened and taught today. The Lord is so good, so gentle and so sweet. I am thankful that He is patient with me on so many things...

Jeff and I had a wonderful weekend together. We didn't do anything spectacular but that in and of itself was spectacular. We didn't spend much money because we just bought a new to us car--an 05 Nissan Altima. It was like almost 80000 miles on it, but that is okay, it is really nice, and it has a/c so that is wonderful and would make ANY car better than what we had in this heat!

Jackson and Creighton did really well at my moms...of COURSE Creighton slept through the night for my mom BOTH nights...and I put her down tonight at 9 and JEff already had to go in just now because she was up screaming! I hate that! It just wears down my soul...the one that was just refreshed feels a month old and I have only had them back for 7 hours. How is that? I feel almost guilty with how much fun I had with JUST Jeff this weekend. We had a blast and spent so much time together and giggled and goofed off and were "free" feeling and it was wonderful. What did we do with all of our time before kids?! It was amazing...I miss it already...but I did miss my kids...don't get me wrong...but they wear. me. out.

We have a busy busy volleyball week: games (away) Monday, (home) Tuesday, (home) Thursday. We are currently 0-2 which stinks because I really really HATE losing, but they are actually (for the most part) (minus one game entirely) much better than I had anticipated them being! They are improving for sure adn that is what matters. I have already decided I am not doing it next year though! I would if I could hire a babysitter and still have money left over from coaching, but as it is I am only making like $80 a month...and we all know that covers just about NOTHING!

Bad Dream

I had a horrible nightmare dream last night and it has haunted me all day. I have always had this MAJOR fear that I would leave my baby in the car because when I was pregnant with Jackson it was on the news several times that summer. So, I was always panicked about it, but once I actually had my baby (ies) I realized that I probably wouldn't because they don't really let me ever think for a second they aren't there in teh car with me :). BUT last night in my dream, I was babysitting someone else's kid (whom will remain nameless so not to freak out that mom) and I ended up going shopping with that baby's mom on a bus (i don't know why, it was a dream and they are always weird for me) but halfway to where we were going I realized I had left that baby in the car and of course it was hot, and then I had a panic attack and was hysterical and I woke up just before I found out what happened...which maybe was a blessing, but it is just eating at me...like my soul was hurting ALL day about it and it consumed me at times. UGH....I just can't imagine. My mom said that it happened in Owasso just the other day. It makes me so sad!
That was totally random...

I am baaaack!

I am excited to be back online again! It has been too long for me without it....although it was probably a really good thing for me...as during my "leave" the Lord has brought me to a much better place--a much NEEDED place. I am still the clay being molded and I am far from the shape He wants me to be, and even further from the finished project, but I am atleast back in the Potters hands again.

Thursday was Jeff and I's FOURTH anniversary and that was fun to celebrate, although we really didn't celebrate that day at all. We are this weekend however because currently I am childless! That is so nice. Although, I am in on the computer and Jeff is playing the wii so this is going to be a short post so I can go enjoy the rest of my day with my SWEET husband! I am so much in love and so thrilled to be his wife. Life is good, I am so very blessed!

God is good. It is great to be emotionally and physically and spiritually restored! It is unbelievable what a good night's rest does to the soul, body, strength, and mind. All those things I am suppose to love the Lord My GOD with...I now have them to be able to do that with!

Have a great day all!

Ps...just so I don't forget...Creighton is saying several words : mama, dada, hi, bye bye, and she is pointing all the time, waves hello and bye, and is getting closer to walking every day

When it rains it pours....

Computer is kaput! i am so sad as there are many things I have wanted to blog about over the past week and haven't been able to. I am up at Jeff's work computer at the moment and I don't have long so I can't really write much. I have no idea if/when we will be able to get a new computer so this might be a pretty boring blog for a while. Things around our house are breaking like crazy. No air in the red car, no air in the house, dryer is broken, computer is broken, jeff's cell is broken....it seems like there is no end to the brokeness...and all somewhat expensive to really expensive things....ugh! Seriously...nothing else please....we start Jeff's school loan payments next month too...I can't handle the financial stress!

A very busy weekend

We had a crazy weekend. I am glad it is over...officially as it is now past midnight. I had practice all last week which was tiring, but good. I actually saw improvement, however frustrated I was each day...I need to focus in on that small fact...they are in fact improving. That is all I can ask!

Friday I took Creighton to the doctor for her 9 month checkup. She weighed 18 pounds 4.5 ounces. She was 28 inches long (which was odd, because last time we were in it was 29 inches and I am certain she did NOT shrink...there just isn't a good way to measure a squirmy baby). She did NOT have an ear infection although I am still a skeptic because she is awfully cranky and pulls and tugs constantly still (*and did in the doctors office, too). But she said she was healthy and looked great. She did give me some tylenol with codeine that I used for the first time tonight (and since I just had to go in just now in the middle of my post to nurse her, it doesn't seem to help at all). I hope she outgrows this soon.

We had our garage sale all day Friday and Saturday and so we set up day/night Thursday night so that was crazy exhausting. But good news (great news) is that we made over $700 off of stuff we don't need, weren't using, and/or didn't want. THat is fantastic! So, it was worth it. We (as all garage sales end up I am sure) still have way too much junk left over. But that is okay. We plan to chunk some, sell some on ebay/bartlesville.net, and keep the rest. I love getting rid of clutter. I am sure in a few months or so we will have even more things when I can officially get rid of EVERYTHING baby. It is bittersweet...but right this moment I am looking forward to being out of the baby stage...for good. Newborns are awesome but so incredibly tiring.

Jackson got his hair cut by Jeff yesterday and it looked AWFUL! Not because Jeff is/was bad at it, but because Jackson was/is the most ridiculous kid when it comes to getting his hair cut. He looked like a very silly at church this morning and I couldn't stand it so I tried again this afternoon. The first 10 minutes (it seemed like longer) were insane boy again doing everything he could to NOT let me cut it, and me doing everything I could to hold him down and try not to cut his hands, ears and arms off. Then out of nowhere I convinced him to sit still (this was after bribery and everything didn't work the first time with Jeff or myself). So, he sat still and I feel like I did a good job on it...he looked so cute tonight. I spiked it up with gel and he was adorable!

Jeff just got home from capture the flag at the church (which is the ONLY reason I am still up) and they had over 40 kids there! So fun! I am glad that there are lots of kids wanting to do something with youth kids/Jeff instead of making poor decisions.

Sarah was with my parents all weekend and now she is back with us until Friday. I think Jackson is really going to miss her then! I will too. It is amazing what a grown up (kid) she is at 11. I love having her here. Tonight she read Jackson a book and put him to bed...he didn't stay, but she did it all on her own without being asked or anything...:)

Post for pictures later!

Lot of Info

It seems like it had been forever since I have written. My days are long and tiring and very busy. I have really enjoyed having Sarah in town this week. She is a joy and a huge help...my kids love her and she loves them. Jackson wants her to play with him ALL the time and so it is a nice and needed break for me because he'd rather play with her and normally it is me he wants constantly. I think she likes it but gets tired of it too occasionally...who wouldn't at 11? I do at 27 and I am his mom! :) He is getting so grown up though. It is shocking how much his language skills have picked up in such a short amount of time. He still is rather behind compared to some his age, but it is impressive to me where he was just a month ago and where he is now. It is fun learning what certain sounds mean. He says the cutest things...and often! He makes us laugh a lot.

WE are setting up for an impromtu garage sale ....so literally last minute it is unbelievable. We have so much crap stuff it is crazy! I would get rid of more, but my husband is a pack rat. However, I must say I am quite proud of him for letting me get rid of as much as he is. I am so tired of keeping this we NEVER EVER lay eyes on much less actually use. It is so annoying to me. WE have stuff that has never even been out of the boxes...tags still on, and now for a garage sale we have to mark a price that says 29.99 down to barely nothing...ugh! I am such a cheap person and I like to make a lot of money and so garage sales are hard for me. I know I'd never pay any of the prices for any of it...but I guess that is why I am getting rid of it too...but I want to mark it high because I want to make money....oh well.

Creighton took 3 steps today on her own, but Sarah was the only one who saw it. Ugh! I have been waiting and waiting and then of course she does it when I am not around...for the 5 seconds too that I am not around. That girl is so spoiled! I carry her around everywhere...she has me wrapped aroudn her little finger already. I am taking her to the doctor tomorrow for her 9 month well-baby waste of time and money visit. I do though think that she has an ear infection again (for real, God?!) because she is constantly holding and tugging her ear and has been cranky pants for the last 2 days and is getting up several times a night and not napping....oh the signs of ear infections...i haven't even lowered her mattress from the last ear infection yet. If she does have another one I am not sure what she'll have to put her on because it hasn't been a long enough time to give her amox. again...so I am bummed about that. I hope she doesn't have to get tubes--although maybe it'd help the poor little girl *(and her poor mama) sleep sometime this year.

Volleyball is a bit ugly right now because I have so many girls missing practices that if I enforce the rule of no practice, no game, then I don't have enough girls to put on the court. I cancelled practice tomorrow because of Creighton's dr. appt. and also the garage sale.

We are going to Enid next weekend now instead of tomorrow as orginal plan. I don[t think I have posted about it, but Jeff's grandpa, GP, is really sick with heart stuff and cancer. It is not looking good. Jeff is really sad. So am I.

My uncle has cancer flare up again in his lymphnodes. That is certainly not good at all. I feel so sorry for them because my aunt has cancer too.

My cousin Kevin left today for a mission trip to Poland and he is leading a team there. He is heavy on my heart for so many reasons...keeep all these in your prayers please....and also

the crazy crash in Minnesota is unbelievable. I hope the death toll stays low because I was ceratinly expecting it to be much higher than I last heard it to be. I know so many people up that direction, it was scary. As far as I know everyone I know (and everyone they know) is okay.

A poopy day, but not like you think!

It was a great day....well, atleast it ended well and that is what I remember most (except the poopy stories to come) so it was a good day! I had practice this morning...it was suppose to start at 9, at 8:59 I had 2 players and 1 manager there...I was a little upset by this. Anyway, eventually more of them showed up, but this isn't coming together at all as I had planned in my head. Oh well. Two practices down, 28 to go.
On to the poopy stories...
Jackson pooped this morning in his diaper, but I didn't realize that, because he told me he needed to poop...so I thought he hadn't done it yet. So we get to the toliet and he had already done so...so as I am getting another diaper and rounding up the wipes (how is it that they always disappear?) he pulls his diaper off and trots all over the house getting it EVERYwhere...nasty.
Later in the day, Creighton poops in her diaper...somehow it gets out and she is playing in it, eating it and it is EVERYwhere...I had no idea until I picked her up and was like "who fed her?" then realized no one did and smelled the awful all over her...in her hair, on her face, in her mouth, all over her hands and of course the floor, carpet, counter, diaper, clothes...and then me! Ahh...the stories of motherhood...
But that is okay. It wasn't a bad day...we had our first softball game since the flood (the fields finally were dry long enough to decontaminate them and then dry again). We won both games (by a landslide) but it was SOOOOO much fun. It was just great...I didn't realized how much I missed playing. It isn't even that we are that great (although we are good) we just have fun and it is such a sweet environment not sweet in the gooey way, because seriously, we ARE playing softball and everyone knows softball isn't sweet and gooey... more sweet in the way of just awesome and theraputic for me. I am always game for a little competition. I struck out twice tonight, got walked twice and had several good hits. I made a few good plays at first and no real errors...makes for an all and all good night for me! I love it!
Have practice early tomorrow again...all week actually, but I am looking forward to afterwards because Maria and Kara and their kids are coming over for a little fun! :)
I am thrilled.

family

My niece, Sarah, is staying with us for two weeks and I am excited to hang out with her. She is going into the 6th grade which is a great age...still a kid, but a HUGE help to me with the babies. I wish my sister and I got to hang out more. They are leaving, if they haven't already, this morning to go back to Texas. My brother and his girlfriend, Lacy, came in yesterday too to see everyone. It was a pretty boring day as far as the afternoon went, but then we went to the big park in Owasso and played on the set and played Bocce ball (which was way fun!) and then we went to eat at Fuddruckers and then to get snowcones....all of us in 2 HUGE SVUs all crammed in and it was a great time.
At Fuddruckers Jackson pushed the alarm door open and that took forever for the mgr to come turn it off...oh well...that was really the only bad thing that happened and with Jackson and Jacob (Christy's 3 year old) together in ANY setting, that was a miracle. It was fun watching them play together when they weren't trying to kill one another or destroy something . They are both firecracker-wild-all-boy-full-of-energy-non-stop toddler/preschoolers. They definitely kept the party alive and kicking the entire time they were together.
Off to practice, gotta go (19 games, 29 practices to go).

Blockbuster

Today Jeff and I are organizing our movie (dvd and vhs) collection. I swear we should be like Blockbuster and start renting things out for a little extra income. I am not even near finished as I have a whole DVD rack that holds 50 dvds to finish and we have already put in titles of over 160 dvds and over 120 vhs tapes. It is ridiculous....and none of those numbers count the ones I won't let him keep--garage sale or garbage. Crazy. Anyway, I like organizing and using Excel and so it is fun for me to organize it all!

Rambling

I have been running a volleyball camp ALL day for the past two days and I am exhausted. It was in Claremore, OK, so I had to over an hour each way and early since the camp started at 8. With Creighton not sleeping well or at all, it made it that much more difficult to be awake and chipper at 6:30 am, BUT I managed and made it through the camp and I made a little over $300 in just 2 days...fabulous! I am sore today though...yesterday I wasn't, but today it is starting to hit me....I am so old and out of shape! OH well, it was fun for the most part. I coached with the old TU coach Matt and so it was good to catch up with him and talk about his new job at a new college in South Carolina at Newberry.

I got a super depressing letter in the mail today (I actually had been forewarned though or I might have literally cried)...that Samantha Lin is no longer doing massages. I am utterly sad for her, on the one hand, because she loves it and can't do it now because she is sick possibly with lung cancer, and two, because I REALLY LOVED HER MASSAGES LIKE YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND. There is NOT another Samantha Lin in all of the world...she was fantastic! I asked for Samantha Lin appointments constantly for every occasion like Christmas, Birthday, Mothers Day, anything ever...all I ever wanted was money to go to Samantha Lin, and now there are no more days of massages....I sound very self-centered and selfish saying all that I know....but the thing is she is still doing accupuncture at her clinic, just not massages, so its like torturous to know she is working, just not doing the most incredible heavenly hour spent every six weeks. I am so sad. I know it sounds like I care more about me not getting massages than I do about her health, but really that isn't true...I love Samantha as a person too...she is really great and we had begun to build a friendship and so I am deeply saddened by her recent health blow...we are still waiting on the results for the biopsy to come back...I am praying for the best for her!

Jackson jumped off the diving board into 12 ft of water, by himself, without floaties...and loved it. I was in the water to catch him and swim him to the side...I was scared to death...but he is fearless about water again! He loved jumping off the side of the pool too....like a champ...I was way more okay with that because I could touch instead of treading water.

Creighton is doing better and slept better last night and actually took over an hour nap today...

Jeff had to take Jackson to the doctor today while I was at camp because he thought he broke his arm...thankfully he did not and only dislocated (again) his elbow. Jeff said he screamed and cried for 2 hours and they reset it and now he is fine. We loaded him up on tylenol though as the doc said he'd be sore for a few days. I hope he is okay! It makes me sad I wasn't here to comfort him, not that I probably could have...but still. It broke my heart I was so far away. I am glad though that it is not broken.

Enough rambles of my day....I am off to dinner with some small group girls! Tomorrow starts two a days practice for my freshmen girls. I am only practicing once a day though because I am the coach and I can do that...the kids are out of mothers day out for 3 weeks shoot me now and so I just can't do more than once a day...good thing they are freshmen :)

Doghouse

****Updated****
Jeff came in as I was typing this post, and it was way more "fun" typing it without him overlooking my shoulder and ruining my "mad" at him so that is why it abruptly stopped at the end. We ended up having a good time at Maggie Moos and discussing our calendars for the next few months. It was a good time away...and he isn't in the doghouse anymore...I don't ever stay mad at him for very long....:)

Okay, so Jeff totally slept through Creighton's wails last night for 2 hours...but she did have atleast a better night than the one before. I just hate it though...I hope she outgrows this soon. On to why the post is titled such.

Tonight my mom agreed to watch the kids so Jeff and I could go out and have a night together. SHe was willing to be home at 4:30....Jeff insisted on playing on the computer and lollygaggging along and we didn't leave our house till 5:30 and it is a 45 minute drive...THEN...we get there and he wants to eat at my mom's house WITH the kids...first off, that was huge brownie points I am sure for him according to my mom,...however, I am a little upset by this because I was desperate looking forward to not fighting being with them at dinner. THEN he goes off and begins asking my dad a BILLLION questions about Southwestern Bell Yellow Pages for atleast 30 minutes. And then He needed to poop....it is after 7 and we are just thinking of leaving....
UGHGHHGHGHHGHG!
Oh wel...I have a few hours now.

A Newborn at near 9 months?

I feel as if I have a newborn again because Creighton has forgotten how to sleep altogether. I just don't get it. She is acting like something is wrong/hurting, but I JUST took her to the doctor on Friday morning. She said her ears looked terrific and she couldn't see anything wrong. She won't nap longer than 15 minutes unless she is in the car (this weekend on the way to Kansas and back she slept both ways) and she won't sleep in her bed at night roughly more than an hour at a time. She wails in pain and I can do nothing for her but put her on the boob and then she'll fall back asleep (usually) and within minutes of me putting her down she is up again, unless by the grace of God she falls asleep for about an hour and then is up again. We raised her mattress finally last night so she is sleeping on an incline and that seemed to help a little I guess. She still woke up, but after 3am I was so tired, I just let her cry herself back to sleep about 2-4 times and I didn't feed her again until 8 this morning...but I canNOT handle that. I hate letting her cry when I think there is something wrong. If I thought that nothing was wrong it'd be different and I would force myself to let her cry knowing that it was in the best interest of EVERYONE in the household. I am so thankful that Jackson didn't wake up last night and I really don't knwo how he slept through it. She was just going ballistic and we (yes, even Jeff was up...it was that bad) had her in the living room trying to get her to calm down. She wanted to be held by me or her daddy when I wasn't in view .
I just don't handle life really well when I am exhausted and this is like the 3rd or more night like this and the 5 or so prior to those 3 weren't great, but they weren't this bad...

Sunday after church we went to lunch with Kylie because it was her birthday and 2 interns and Brittany came along too, and of course we had the kids, and were the only ones with kids there. Creighton thank God (seriously I prayed HARD for this) slept through the first 20 minutes or so of lunch. Jackson was acting horribly, throwing chips and spitting water and eating ice, then throwing ice, then just screaming, then finally the food came...his of course was last to be served, (WHY DO THEY DO THAT?!), and then mine was wrong so it went back and then when it finally came back out, that very second, Creighton woke up. Needless to say, as everyone was leaving lunch talking about how they were going to go play nintendo or take a nap in peace and quiet, I was jealous....VERY jealous VERY VERY jealous! For that brief not really brief at all moment I was wishing I was back sans kids. As I was daydreaming of what that would be like I was quickly knocked back into reality as Jackson was way overdue for a nap screaming and running through the parking lot. Then I felt guilty that I had wished I wasn't a mommy...I am just so tired. I could use some prayer...

Paved Roads

I drove out onto the main road near our house the other day and was thinking how nice it was...it was brand new dark black pavement that was SUPER smooth, no potholes, nothing, but smooth riding road....it didn't even make noise in the car. I liked it...alot. But it got me thinking that I was complaining because it was so pot-hole-y before, and then during the repair I certainly was complaining even more because it was "inconvenient" for me and it took more time and they seemed to have taken forever to finish the project, blah, blah, blah...without ever thinking of what it'd be like when they were finished...and it got me thinking about life and how God does the same thing with us in making us better. We have things in our life that are ugly and obnoxious and not good and so he sets about things to make us better and during the process it seems to take forever and it is hard and awful at times, but then once things are better or fixed you look back and say "wow, this is nice"...and kind of feel silly for complaining so much during the "fixing" because you don't always know exactly how it going to look or be when you are fixed but you have to know that it will all be worth it in the end... All of this was much smoother sounding and prettier in my head and I just don't know how to say things very eloquently, but I like small little glimpses of how God teaches us things today through our world around us...parables of today.

Water Park

Okay, so we all nine of us got in 2 cars and drove all the way to Independence Kansas to go the the waterpark up there and literally the MINUTE we pulled into the parking lot it started raining. No big deal...everyone is still enjoying the water so we unload 100 bags, 5 kids, 4 adults, put sunscreen on everyone, put swim diapers and swimsuits on come on inside only to have them blow the whistles as we are paying, for a "safety break" totally unrelated to the weather and assured us that at 3:15 everyone would be allowed back in the water. Well, at 3:15 it begins the DOWN pour of all time and they come over the loud speaker to tell us that the park is closed till 4 but then they will evaluate the weather and let everyone know at 4. So, we are all standing there in the rain with all of our stuff and all of us getting soaking wet and we hadn't even so much as stuck our toes in the water yet. At 3:59 they say the park is closed for the day and at 4:02 OF COURSE the sun is out and the rain is stopped....but they still close the park. So we drove all the way to Kansas for nothing and everyone is loaded with sunscreen and swim diapers and all for NOTHING....nothing.....nothing....ugh!
So, I am quite sad about that. We should have just gone yesterday...but we didn't and so now we didn't do anything. But I decided we were going to atleast get a chocolate dipped cone on the way home because we don't have Dairy Queen in Bville...and I love me a chocolate dipped cone. Then we drove home....in the rain.

New look

I am satisified with my new look. My friend Betsy helped me by making the collage of the kids and the zoo pic. I like it, alot!
Yeah for the new look!

Video

I can't figure it out, so I am trying this: Creighton It'll have to do for now...I have tried way too long and I am blogger dumb and video/youtube dummer.
I must say that this was way after she'd been doing it for awhile and I think she was very tired of walking by this point but she was still so determined. The first time when she came in my room, she was so smooth with it and it was natural, way unlike this video...but it was the best I could do, my first time!