Final Update

Things are getting better. The kids are doing better. Jackson is doing amazing now (much better) at going to sleep...and then once he is asleep he is sleeping much more soundly, and of course, he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night anymore either looking for his binky. He asked for it last night, but did okay with the answer. Then today at school (first time back since he gave it up) he told his teachers. We'll see how he does at nap time there. He sometimes struggles there (even with the binky) because they take naps so much earlier than we do at home. But, he got up early this morning so I am hoping for a nap!

Creighton is such a champ at going to bed in her big girl bed. She stays in there pretty well for the most part and sleeps really soundly too. She isn't getting up in the middle of the night and my 6:30 little alarm clock is moving back later each day, but now that it's later she isn't wanting to go back to sleep. So we are adjusting our schedule a bit to get up early with her which is NO fun! But that is okay. Hopefully she'll realize to be a Berg, it requires more sleep! :)

I have been getting more rest now too which is fantastic. That is the good news...bad news is my headaches still aren't going away...so we'll have to see about that. But otherwise, it's looking up and we are getting through this and, all in all, it wasn't so much of a hell week, like I had planned/imagined it being.

Oh yeah, and the cabbage leaves, the Tylenol and of course TIME, all helped tremendously...I am not even pumping anymore and the pain is virtually gone...Praise the Good Lord!!

Update for Today and Yesterday

I didn't post yesterday about our day, because it was a little rough. Today, however, has been worse. Creighton I believe, as of this evening, has come down with a virus. Great! These are the times when nursing comes in the MOST handy. And now I can't. Or, well, I could, but I am not. I still have plenty of milk in me, although my supply has certainly slowed down.

We went to a friend's surprise party tonight and as we were leaving (of course once I had her strapped in her seat!) she starts profusely vomiting all over herself, her car seat, her costume (we were on the way to the Kiddie Park for the Halloween weekend thing), and it was gross. Since she has gotten sick 2 more times. It's the weirdest thing. Right before she pukes she pinks up in her cheeks and acts a little tired and then she gets sick. Then immediately...as in before we even can get her cleaned up, she is jumping up and down and dancing and singing and acts like NOTHING just happened. It's crazy!

Anyway, I am feeling way low and have been since yesterday. Yesterday morning was THE hardest because I couldn't get her to calm down and all she wanted to do was nurse. She was very very sad and so was I. I was leaking all over the place from being full, her cries, and just really wanting to give in. But I didn't. Eventually I got her to sleep. She did pretty good the rest of the day yesterday without asking much, except for the time when I stupidly decided we all needed to shower and...well, lets just say that was a poor decision on my part for her to SEE them. But, she was fine quickly and went to bed that night great!

She was acting distant and sort of "loner-ish" all day yesterday and today and incredibly cranky. I am thinking now that maybe it was that virus, but because of it I was feeling horrible and second-guessing EVERYthing. It's so hard. I wish I had all the answers. I also wish my little girl wasn't sick. I wish I was still nursing her to comfort her and give her nourishment.

I broke down and gave her a bottle of breastmilk this evening. She took several long sips and then didn't really worry about it much. Which is fine because i don't want her attached to a bottle, but I know that it is great stuff for antivirus stuff for her. She won't take it in a sippy at all or a real cup. Don't know why, but I remember Jackson never would either. They are bottle and boob for breastmilk only!

Jackson is doing remarkably well at night now, but is not napping well at all. It seems to be an every other day nap now. Jeff said he played nicely and quietly in his room today though, so that is good I guess. Yesterday he ended up taking a nap in my bed with me though. He couldn't go down on his own. We'll see what happens with that end.

I know that several months ago when I was considering weaning Creighton, Maria said some stuff about the hormones and depression and stuff that sometimes accompanies that. So, when I was all worked up BEFORE I even started this time I got those meds and I haven't "needed" them all week. Today, I am reconsidering. Haven't yet, but curious if it'd get me out of this funk I am in. I just feel awful and sad and very discouraged in my decisions and very guilty-like. No fun. Oh well.

My good friend Becky is in town and I got to hug her neck tonight and tomorrow I'll get to hang with her for a few hours and that will be great. So I am excited about that. Also, my parents return from a 3 week vacation tomorrow...so that is good news too. Trying to find the good things to look forward to. That always helps!

Weaning of comforts (Day 3)

Well, let's see...

Yesterday, the both took really great naps (after it took a little while to fall asleep). After nap, Creighton didn't even ask to nurse! That is a HUGE milestone for her because after nap is usually a really big deal for her. Jeff claims that is the worst time for him always when I am not here and she would wake up. So, I thought that was great.

We played hard for awhile and then she just ran over to me and gave my legs a HUGE hug and then wanted me to hold her. I held her and kissed and she seemed fine with that. I didn't take into consideration that for 2 years I was holding her for about 20 minutes 6-10 times a day. So, I am making a concerted effort to just hold her several times a day. It seems to help her and me too, if I am honest! ;) I am still sad and emotions are high, but we are both doing great...her way more than me, but BOTH of us so much better than I ever anticipated.


I had the opportunity to serve at Apples of Gold last night and so they were with Jeff through the evening and to bedtime. He said she ate like he's never seen her eat before for dinner and was really good at going to bed for him, although she did ask for a bottle. She has been falling asleep in very hilarious ways these days now that she is in her big girl bed. She still likes to turn her light on and off. Usually when we check on her, her light is on and she has things in her bed or is in a random spot in her room. I have a few on camera :)

Here is how we found her last night:



and a close up! (with her light on of course...maybe it was too bright)... we got such a laugh
This was how we found her the other day! She had put a pair of panties on over her PJs and then passed out in our special chair that is now removed from her room! (this was the first night)

Anyway, Jackson still took a while to go to sleep last night for Jeff, but I think till he figures out HOW to fall asleep again with sucking, it will be like this, except for those times where he is so tired he passes out quickly. But really, he is doing well too!

This morning Creighton woke up at 6:30 and wanted to nurse but I told her no and held her and kissed her and told her how much I loved her. She really wanted me to hold her like I did when I nursed her, and so I did. She fell asleep within 20 seconds I think. I savored some time with her and then laid her down. She never made a sound. She got up at 8:30 and I am not sure if she asked to nurse or not. But she has asked a few times today, but I have been able to give her a drink or snack and she's fine. She is eating SO much food these days though it is unreal. I won't be surprised if she gains like 5 pounds before her birthday...when you only weigh 26 pounds, 5 is a lot!


I am doing okay. Emotions are better. I bought some cabbage last night and wished I would have done this earlier in the process. It helps tremendously. I also am taking lots of Tylenol and putting ice packs on when I can. I have found that ice/cold helps more than heat for the time being. I pumped last night and then this morning, even though I was hurting I waited till after lunch to pump again. It feels much better now that I have pumped. I have some leaves on and am going to lay down because I am just feeling exhausted.


Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers this week. You are all so sweet! I really am doing well and so much (SO MUCH) better than I thought. I haven't taken the OB meds at all and am feeling pretty good on that end. I think I just really am so scared of change, even when I know it will be good for me. I was so worked up over it all, but we are all surviving just fine. I think that each day gets better and easier. Although, I really miss nursing her and sometimes wonder if I quit too soon. Can't go back now. 'Tis bittersweet.