Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Ultimate Game

I have this passion for this game that I can't describe, which is why I am trying. I am horrible at articulating my emotions about 90% of the time, but occasionally if I write (type) things out, then they become clearer to me and maybe will allow me to explain it to others better.

Volleyball is the greatest game in the world for the female athlete. I am passionate about it. I love it! I truly love it (in the real sense of the word love). At one time in my life it was my first love, then my second(God, volleyball), and now my fourth (God, family, ministry, volleyball). When I was a player, back in my prime, I would do anything for that little white leather ball. I sacrificed my body time and time again. I broke three ribs two different times, just to make one play on the ball. I don't remember if I got it over or not, but that's just it...it didn't matter. I just wanted to give my all, to try, to bust it, JUST IN CASE. I was good. But I wasn't the best skilled player there was (I don't think at all). I just had heart...maybe the biggest heart and the most competitive spirit out there.

I have come to realize that, as a coach, you can't teach, train, or even demand heart. You either have it or you don't. You can't just go buy it either, which in this day and age is a real bummer, since most of this generation is so used to that. When they want something they just get it handed to them on a silver platter, without ever having to think about, want it for more than a second--if its buyable, its theirs. These kids these days don't seem to know what the word 'desire' is. Just by definition alone--"to wish or long for; crave; want"--you have to 'long' for something, but when it is just flown in a jet plane with a cherry on top, how is that you have 'longed' for it?

I hunger for the game of volleyball, which is why I am now coaching. I would give up my coaching seat in an instant to suit up and play, if I could. I want to show them what it looks like. I want them to know. I desperately want them to know--to know what it feels like, to know what it looks like, to be in it with everything that you have, to want something so bad it hurts, to leave the court without your heart (because its still on the floor)...I did that. I hope I did that EVERY single game I ever played (I don't know if I did or not). But I know what it feels like to love the game because I won and lost with pride, with heart, with tears, with smiles, with cheers and with heartache. I risked everything, just for the sake of a little white leather ball.

Heart certainly can't win every match for every kid, but I know it can and did win some for me. I wasn't always the best player, wasn't always the best athlete, but I think I always wanted it more than anyone else out there, and for that reason, I am still remembered today as one of the greatest in Oklahoma High School volleyball. At least four times this year I have been told this by coaches and refs who are still around today that were around back in my day. We carry on conversation after conversation about how they just need someone to be the "go-to-kid." I was that. I wanted to be that. I still do.

There is no greater game. You can be beautiful and long and lean (not that I was any of those things...)to play volleyball. You don't have to be butch and mean and big and bulky. You can be a super-model and then go beat the daylights out of the volleyball. That is terrific. This sport is just unlike any other one I have ever known, or ever seen. It is a beautiful game, one of teamwork, hard work, perseverance, and determination (oh yeah, and big thing called heart). It is powerful. It is intriguing. It is engaging.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Volleyball .500 on the season...

It's official, my girls at the moment do not have a losing record. We are currently 9-9. We have our last tournament tomorrow...I will be with them for another 12 (long) hours. Then we have a match Monday and Tuesday and its over. I am going to be sad about it I know. I am ready for it to be over, but I know I will miss it tremendously. I have grown to LOVE my girls and the time away from my kids and to get out of the house.

I am so proud of them. Last night they played really really well

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Copeland

I write a post like the one below and complain about my HEALTHY babies, and then feel utterly like an idiot and a moron when I read what others are going through today!

May I remember how blessed I am today and always. God bless Conor and Boothe and Sellers. Sweet Copeland has gone home to be with the Lord

Medical Craziness--Creighton!

My sweet baby girl is not well! She has an ear infection still...this is our 3rd round of antibiodics for her. This is the 5th visit to the doctor for her in 1 month. This time we came home with LOADS of medicine and "advice" to help her. She isn't eating, sleeping, and continues to scream with fury in the night!
It seems the doctor thinks she has GERD, reflux, asthma, ear infection, teething, gas, allergies and because of the latter, a runny nose, stuffy nose, cough, chest congestion--and lets not forget when she coughs she pukes! OH MY GOODNESSS>....

REALLY?!!?

She is on SO much medicine it CANNOT be healthy. I am "drugging" her with something all day now and for how long, I have no idea. She is on tylenol/motrin for pain, mylanta for gas and upset stomach, prevacid for GERD/relux, xopenex for asthma/chest congestion, antibiodic for ear infection, allegra for allergies, and one other med for relux/tummy/help her sleep called Levscon...really?! Can this be healthy for my 10 month old?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Good NEWS!

Three cool things happened today:

1) Creighton popped her first tooth through...you can't even SEE it, but I can feel it through the skin, it has broken through, so it's official, she has a tooth!! I didn't take a picture, but you wouldn't see it anyway. I will take one when it is actually visible. Maybe that is why she was A BEAR last night. She was up a lot and actually threw up all over me because she started a coughing fit. Oh well...I hope that was why, except for maybe I don't, because when I looked in her mouth tonight, there were swollen gums everywhere, like 4 or so more might come in this week. Being that it is so late in the game (she's almost 11 months) I bet that'll be what happens! OUCH for all of us if it does.

2) My girls won their game tonight! I don't know what our record is, but atleast we have a W to go off of. We have practice 2 more times, 3 more matches and 1 more tournament!!!! Its almost over. It is bittersweet. I am ready for life to return to normal without it, but I KNOW I will miss it.

3) While I was gone tonight, Jackson did the laundry...by himself. With my cool new front loaders, he can actually get the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer, start the dryer (with a dryer sheet), and turn it on. Jeff said he heard noise back there, and came back there and Jackson was babbling about "audry" (laundry) and was excited...Jeff said there was a dryer sheet in there and NOT ONE piece of clothing left in the washer. What a guy...!!! and what an added bonus to the new machines!!!! Oh, I finally have taught the boy something good. He is always helping me with laundry but now he can jsut do it! :)

Monday, September 24, 2007

Google & the Y

The other day Jeff told a few of my girls to "google" my maiden name for some reason....so I figured I should google it too, to make sure of what they were going to find. Thankfully, in my HS days and even some of my college days, the Internet wasn't anything like it is now. However, I did run across this page (scroll to the very bottom) that made my "google" enjoyable. I had no idea it was there, but it made me smile and remember the good ole days of being a super star athlete. My time is certainly up and I am now only a "has-been" unfortunately....

But, we joined the YMCA this past week and I went to workout for the first time in a VERY long time. I am surprisingly not too sore at the moment, but I haven't really slowed down yet today until now to pump and post! I am sure I will wake up tomorrow with a gimp in my lower extremities as that is what I worked on today. It was way fun...Brittany went with me and I LOVE that because it is so much easier for me to push myself and be committed when someone else is there to hold me accountable.

We were suppose to do cardio-kickmy buttboxing., but apparently I need calendar reading skills, because it is TUE/THU mornings, not MON/WED like I thought and after it took major rearranging of both Jeff and Brittany's schedules to get her there at that time, I felt like a moron! Oh well...we both got in a workout so that was good!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Humiliation and A lot of Wentworth

This weekend Varsity had a tournament and so I was up helping with that. I was peppering (a volleyball skill) with another player and my jeans ripped up the back, completely showing off my granny panties that I had on...like as in the UGLIEST pair of underwear that I own, I just HAPPENED to have on....ugh! It was highly embarassing. I couldn't make it to the bench fast enough to sit down. My whole butt was visible!! The players were DYING laughing at me (certainly I was trying to accomplish the "laugh with me" but it didn't quite work like that).

Embarassing...but my sweet husband brought me up a change of clothes later in the day and until then one of the players let me tie her sweatshirt around my waist.....


On a better note, Jeff and I were able to spend last night without kids...it was nice. However, instead of sleeping the past two nights like I should have been, we've been nailing out 12 episodes (6/night) of Prison Break...oh, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this show...almost as much as 24, and to be honest...it might be equal at the moment. Jack Bauer and Michael Scoffield are my favorite TV characters ever, and Michael is super easy on the eyes, if you know what I mean! Whew! IT is so good. I love it!!! We are in the middle of season 2 and I must say, that they have not dissappointed me so far. Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell are phenomenal. I am addicted like crack cocaine!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Washer/Dryer!

Our dryer broke and so we purchased a new set of both a washer and a dryer, actually not a set, but both a washer and a dryer....We got LG brand of both, but they are different models. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE them....I think I did like 5 loads of laundry in the last two days (maybe 6) but with my old washer/dryer it would have been like 10-12 loads AND my clothes smell better, feel better, look better, ARE better. I love them!

The only thing is that they both have child locks on them...but apparently to MY eldest child there is NO SUCH THING! He figured out how to unlock both of them in 5 seconds and LOVES to play with the buttons because they light up and make noises. And, oh how my child loves buttons!!!!!, (and noise, and lights!)

Monday, September 17, 2007

My Guitar Hero


Jackson loves his new hat his Grammy got him for $1. He wears it a lot and it makes me laugh! It suits his new Rocking persona...


Jeff made Jackson a guitar (or as Jackson calls it "tarrrr") out of wood and electrical wire. We've since added a "strap" with an old American Flag tie of Jeff's. he LOVES his tarrr....and plays wildly all the time. I am going to try to add a video of him...although the best one is on my phone and I can't add it to this (I have no idea how)....

His favorite thing to do with his tarrr is to "ROCK" and he rock he does....he rocks my heart!


video


this video is embarrassing of me trying to get him to rock by banging my head! and my unmade bed and messy bedroom (and I am certain that the reason I cover up my legs is probably due to the fact I had no shorts on....home videos...gotta love 'em)

Picture update

Jackson and Creighton were playing in her crib together with a "tent" up over the crib....they were so cute I had to get the camera...glad I did!


Here is Creighton playing with her dolls...she is brushing the babies hair, how cute?! She loves them already...it has to be "in" her because I certainly don't "teach" her those things, or for that matter, even really encourage them...and Jackson NEVER did those things...so there is definitely something to the nature vs. nuture argument


I had updated the other day about our volleyball game against Jenks, and said that Creighton had passed out during the last game of Varsity..it was funny, here is the pic! I just noticed that my husband was wearing JENKS colors....:(

Here is Jeff and the kids on our bike ride. The kids LOVE the doodlebug (I HIGHLY recommend this thing!) Creighton is still a little small for it, but she does fine.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

another doctor, another ear infection, another broken appliance...

Well again, I didn't think Creighton had an ear infection...probably because I just got finished giving her antibiodics for 10 days ending on Saturday, but we went for her recheck today and she is just a mess! Part of me is glad that there IS something the matter though because that explains her incredibly uncontrollable insconsolable disposition the last few days. She wants her put on breathing treatments because she is wheezing and coughing and rattles when she breathes, another (different) antibiodic for her 5th ear infection in 6 months, and ear drops because she cut her ear inside while checking it out today, not to mention the LOADS of tylenol/motrin I give her because she is cutting 25 teeth really only probably 4-6 at the same time! Poor kid! I'd be grumpy too!

Our water heater is broken, so I had a cold shower today and the kids went to bed dirty! Seriously, HOW MANY THINGS will we really have to replace this year...everything it is seeming! And all within such a short amount of time, and Jeff's school loans start coming November....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....if only this world wasn't run by money

Nikao went well and 3 of my freshmen girls were there! yeah! yeah! yeah! I had my first small group of the year and there were 4 juniors...I think they will be fun. It is going to be a challenge to say the least because of the varying personalities/places in life each of them are at, but it will be good! I like them already!

Too tired to write anymore...goodnight

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Long day, good day, big win!

Today was a bit different day for me. I got up at 6 and fed Creighton and then got ready for the day and was out the door by 6:40 and got breakfast and was at the court house before 7a. I sat outside in the cold until 7:50(yes, the first morning of fall! ) how on earth would I really know, it could always be that cold at the hour, but I AM NEVER EVER OUT then. I was blessed by the sunrise (which I never usually see) and I did my bible study before I even left (did it while I pumped, since Jeff was sleeping I couldn't use the computer :)). Well, as we were entering, the very grumpy lady informed us the judge wouldn't be in today, so we'd have to reschedule or come back on Thursday if we needed to see him. (um, who comes to court that DOESN'T need to see the judge?) So, I was THE first one there and sat outside FOREVER in the cold, for nada! I have to REDO it on Thursday morning.

Anyway, I made it to bible study and that went well for the most part, and then on the way home I decided I needed to take advantage of the cooler weather and take my kids to the park...so we went and met Kara and the girls there...and there were lots of other mommies and kids there too...some I knew, some not. It was going great. It was the first time I can remember going to the park and not having to keep my eye on Jackson and help him constantly...he was fine to be "a big boy" and I watched Creighton...it is so much easier only having to "hawk" one of them instead of two at the same time. Things were going great, until Jackson fell and accidentally got ran over by a stroller at the same time (it is TOTALLY okay Casey! :)) I thought he just hurt his hand, but he dislocated his elbow, AGAIN! I knew he was more susceptible to doing it again because he just did it recently. It was as if I was torturing the kid to get his arm in and out of the carseat...I thought I was going to have to leave him in there at home, because he just wailed in pain every time I tried to move it. But eventually he moved in a certain way (after lots of tylenol) and it must have relocated itself because he was fine, and now you wouldn't even know! Weird...glad that I didn't have to take him to the Dr. since we are going tomorrow though!

Both kids took a nap at the same time after lunch and I got a small 30 minute half nap/rest which was nice and then I darted off to the gym. I half expected us to lose because I had heard that Jenks was really good this year...and that being my alma mater and such....I just wasn't sure, but my girls showed up, and showed up ready....they beat them in 2, even with my second string in the second game! That was nice. JV pulled off a win in 3, but Varsity lost in 3 and one of the Seniors quit after the match! It was so silly all of that drama....good ridence is what I have to say...I don't like quiters much...needless to say I am disappointed in her decision, but ceratainly think that now that an attitude is gone, maybe we'll do something better than what we've done!

So we are now 6-7 on the season and that is great news! They actually looked good tonight too! I am tired though, so I am excited its only 10 and hopefully I will get to sleep tonight!

Oh yes, my husband....he's wonderful. He managed to make it to the game...with both kids, alive, dressed and with a poster cheering me on in hand. He stayed the ENTIRE evening...with both kids...Creighton fell asleep during the last game of Varsity match, only goodness knows how the crowd was screaming so loud the whole time...but she was PASSED OUT! He is pretty amazing...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Boring Details...Good day

Today has been a good day. Creighton is teething horrifically, but (by prayer alone) she slept decent last night only getting up at 12 and 6 and 8. (atleast that is the only times I heard her, because I put my fan on in my room, so that I wouldn't hear her if she did wake up :-/)So, I fed her at 6 and then at 8 and then somehow got her to go back down till I woke her up at 9 for school. Jackson slept wonderfully last night also and didn't get up till about 8:50 this morning, and was in a pretty good mood. He was so cute last night! I put him in boxer briefs like his Daddy and he was so proud!---did I mention it was the cutest thing ever! (of course they were over his diaper, but that is fine!)

I dropped them off at school today (late a little bit) and then came home and got some of my bible study done and then I got a call to come play volleyball! It was fun and I taught a lady how to serve! :) Then I came home and picked up the kitchen and cooked dinner for tonight, and did laundry and the dishes! It is amazing how much you can get done when you aren't so tired that you have to try to figure out how to fit a nap in day. I feel good. I have practice tonight, but our softball games are cancelled because of the rain...oh well. My mom and dad have been on a cruise for a week and a half and so I think they are coming up for dinner and to play with the kids and that will be more fun anyway!

I MIGHT get paid this month my little stipend for coaching...but it may be next month...but the fact that its in the system, that is a good enough start for me.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

One incredibly long day!

I didn't go to bed till 12:45 last night, and I was up at 4am because of Jeff and Creighton (Jeff woke me up, and then 10 minutes later she was crying!) I got back to bed at 5 but never fell asleep and my alarm went off at 6:20 and I was up getting ready (and nursing her again!) and the bus left a little after 7 and we made it there with plenty of time to spare.

My girls were in a really tough pool, but we ended up winning the last game against Broken Arrow's B team. So we finished 3rd in pool. Then we played the first bracket game and won (although they certainly tried several times to give it to the other team...thankfully, we pulled it off.) Then we were in the Championship game for the Consolation (Silver) Bracket...and we WON! We played the BA Bteam that we had beat earlier (soundly) but this time, it wasn't so sound...not even close. We took it to 3 games and missed more serves than I ever though possible....I was shocked that we pulled it off, but we did...and I am one proud coach! They had a long day....I am so tired my eyes are BURNING, but I am happy. I got to spend some GREAT tme with one of my small group girls that joined me for the tournament (to help coach)....and also with some of my girls...I really like them! Sometimes they frustrate me like only another coach would understnad, but I love them....and I love coaching....actually itis a love/hate relationship....sometimes, there is nowhere I'd rather not be and sometimes, I love being there.

We made it home about 8:45...too long too long! Ready for bed very very very soon...hope everyone else around here is!

I pumped so much today I HATE PUMPING! But I must say that I am really rather sad that I have to give "my" pump back to the lady it belongs to (she is having another baby this month). It makes me sad, really sad! I am attached to the dumb thing. It is a VITAL part of my day and a really good excuse to be on the computer :). ...I have pumped twice a day everyday (if not more) for the last almost 2 years or so....I love nursing my babies and it is sad that this time in life is almost over...the thought of giving it back makes me weepy....why is it when I hate pumping so much, I don't know!?


Before the tournament we were 2-5 and now we are 5-7!

Friday, September 7, 2007

AHHHH....

I am glad that I realized my need for an eternal perspective with my girls PRIOR to last night's match. They sucked it up pretty good. I was more than a little upset with them after the match. I think I scared them a little. I hope it was just enough and not too much. Going from Division 1 Volleyball to small town Oklahoma High School Freshmen is a super-challenge for me! We had practice today and it went well...I wish it had lasted longer though because we didn't get to everything I had wanted to do...we have a tournament all day tomorrow (and when I say ALL day, I mean ALL day...) we are leaving at 6:45a and probably not returning till atleast 7p. I am really nervous about it, more for their confidence sake than my ego, but only slightly. We are down our best passer and one of our hitters (and a good passer) will be out for most of the day. Oh the terror this brings me!

I am missing my kids because I am gone so much, although they have each done their faire share of driving me nuts at the same time, making it easier than it should be to walk out to practice or games each day. Thankfully Jeff is such an incredible Daddy to them and loves spending time with them and isn't afraid to be with them alone. He is really really great. (thank you baby!)

Today we went on a bike ride all four of us together. I was on Jeff's old bike, and he was on his new one with the two babies in the bike trailer attached to him. It was way fun! I would like to get a bike of my own that actually fits me though, because I can't even reach the ground on his...and I don't feel comfortable riding it. I haven't ridden a bike in so long though, that my butt hurts so bad right now! It was really great to be doing something together as a family though! Ususally Jeff and Jackson go just the two of them....Creighton did great. She actually fell asleep on the way back home even! I should have taken a picture, but I didn't!

I think Creighton is teething ferociously at the moment! She was so cranky today and rather inconsolable at times. I know that is hard on Jeff and he has her all day tomorrow...so pray that she is her happy self for him!

This week has felt crazy, but next week is even worse! Sunday is the normal Sunday-busy, then Monday, I have practice 3-5:30 and then softball from 6-8. Tuesday we have a home game so I am gone 3-8, then Wednesday we have church and the kids are in Mothers Day Out (praise the Lord) and they both have ear rechecks that afternoon and I also have practice. Then Thursday the team leaves at 12 to go to Enid (and me too) and Jeff and the kids (God help them) are driving down seperate to come and we are staying through the weekend till late Saturday and coming back to church on Sunday. Whew...I get tired just thinking about it!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

awesomeness

I am just filled with JOY--true JOY. God is awesome. I love it! He has really put some of my freshmen on my heart to really pour into and pray for and minister to and tonight I got to do that outside of volleyball. It has made it ALL (the hours, the no pay, the stress, the tiredness, the losses, the wins, all of it) worth it. It doesn't matter what I teach them really as far as volleyball is concerned...I care, but that isn't what matters most. I am now (I am a super slow learner) realizing that...for the first time.
I am so thankful that the Lord put in me a desire and an ability to play volleyball, because it is with that and through that, that I am making some really neat relationships and really getting to plant seeds...as for the soil, I think it is open and willing, and I am so thrilled to see what happens, even if I don't find out on this side of heaven. I love sports, but to be able to play(coach) AND minister and love on kids who need and want it, now that is just awesome!
6 volleyball players were at Nikao tonight!
Thank you Lord!

Volleyball...

Volleyball:
We won our 2nd match last night! They did great! They are finally getting the game a little more and where they are suppose to be (atleast most of them, some of the time). The team we played was horrible, but that is okay. I will take a "W" any day. We play BA tomorrow and it depends on which team we play (they have 2) and also which of my team shows up: the ready to play with confidence or the not ready to play and lazy. We'll see. I really am enjoying coaching...not just because we won yesterday, but because A) I really love the game of volleyball B) I am making neat relationships (ministry) with my team C) They ARE improving!

We didn't get home last night till 12:30 or later...I was one of the first out of the parking lot...it was WAAAAYYYYY too late for me...we left at 12:30...that is 12 HOURS with them....wow. Oh well. It was fun....I think now we are 2-4 (and one of the losses, we won one of the games, just not the match)...so we are doing okay....not great, but atleast we aren't 0-6!

Monday, September 3, 2007

August Picture Update


Not the best picture, but if you could see the two of them (Jeff and Jackson) dressed the same, you would die. They are identical and those are the new Nikao shirts this year...so they had the same outfit on Wednesday for the kick-off party! :O)



I ABSOLUTELY adore this girl! (and this pic)



Don't know why but she loves to play with my glasses. She was so cute and happy that night!




Here are my cakeballs that I mentioned on here a while back!



Bathtime...usually occurs together. Creighton LOVES being in the water and Jackson LOVES making the water change colors...


This was our anniversary/Jeff's birthday dinner (yeah for Jarrett Farms)! Yeah for dates with no kids! Yeah for my awesome husband! Yeah for having makeup and jewelry on...(that never happens anymore)



I am starting them both early--to love the volleyball...:)




Sibling love....gotta love it! I enjoy watching them play together...they really do love one another!



My sweet girl..showing off the Baby Bjorn we are trying to sell in the garage sale! (we still haven't sold it yet).



I figure Uncle Clay would be so proud...he starting early...climbing with Pop!

Here is Jackson playing at the waterpark in Enid with his Grammy and Pop...doesn't he look so big?!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

The Torch---a red candle

This morning at church they did the candle lighting early in the service before the sermon. I was kind of finding my seat (late), and getting situated and not focused yet in my worship at all (still people watching and reading the update). Anyway, as I realized what they were doing, I stopped and looked and up at the alter I saw it, one red candle...then as I had spotted that one, I saw a whole family (mom, dad, 2 kids) coming up with a red candle together. It was awesome. I cried happy and joyful tears...the feeling was great...and I thought to myself, "THIS will NEVER get old..." it was just good...a feel good, is good, good.

However, like merely 5 seconds later, they popped a picture of Peggy Pruitt on the big screen. (She was an incredible lady within our church who has been struggling with breast cancer for a long time and here just recently had taken a major turn for the worse. I knew she'd been in the hospital for these past 2 weeks or so and that here recently they'd only given her a few days to live.) I knew immediately why, but was so confused that I hadn't known ahead of time (that is one of the privileges of being a minister's wife is that you find things out earlier than the entire congregation). I was immediately just heartbroken for Randy, her husband, and just for the death of someone. I know I have mentioned on here before that I dont' handle death well, and I still don't...but it got me thinking, that I really have been in such a valley that my compassion for otehrs was at an all time low, or really non-existent. When things would happen around the world and be reported on the news, I wouldn't even skip a beat. It was as if I didn't care because it didn't effect me personally or directly. Now that I am back where I should be and my heart is un-hardened...it hurts. Being compassionate hurts. I don't (certainly) want to go back to my hard-heart, but man, I have forgotten what it feels like to hurt for people (other than myself...I have gotten too good at that)....the pain I feel is immense. I try to put myself in the people's shoes and I can't wrap my heart and head around the amount of pain I imagine them to be feeling. Hurts isn't a strong enough word. I don't knwo what I'd do if I lost my spouse...Do you feel anything for the pain has to be SO intense. Oh, I am just in shambles right now inside...I don't do this thing well. Are we even suppose to? Peggy was an amazing rock and woman of God...(I really didn't know her personally) but you could tell and that is what everyone always said and says about her. She radiated the Lord's love and served always...even through her pain and cancer and treatment and all of that...she served...and with a smile.

I think the only thing that got me through it enough to be able to walk out of the service without melting into a puddle of tears, was that there were red candles...people to take the torch from Peggy. She would want it that way...she would want the praise team to SING louder and longer, not stop for her. She wants more red candles...people to live a life worthy of the calling, just like she did. To live strong till the last breath...just. like. she. did.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Playing catch up.

Well, the doctor saw both kids yesterday at 10:30. Jackson seemed to be doing better and hadn't run a fever since 1am. So that was good. She thought his infections (although present) were not as big of a deal as the doctor the other night made them out to be. With the antibiodics, she thought he'd be just fine. But to watch him closely just in case ANY sign of progression or worsening (is that really a word?). She gave us a new antiB for Jackson because he couldn't/wouldn't keep the other one down. Creighton got checked out and thankfully she just has an ear infection. (the one time I DO NOT think she has an ear infection, she does...but I am certainly thankful she doesn't have pneumonia, however mild Jackson's case may or may not be). So, back to the drug store for more Anti Bs for 2 kids. I fight both of them to take theirs, and again, Jackson will NOT keep it in/down, so I call the doctor at 3:45 and she has me bring him BACK to get a shot of antiB (if that is available SERIOUSLY why do they not JUST DO THAT THE FIRST TIME! instead of me fighting wrestling an alligator would be easier him twice a day for 10 days!!). Anyway, the shots went okay, he cried pretty hard and his legs went numb and he couldn't walk...and then all that for them to tell me because of the amount of infections in his body he STILL had to take the antiBs by mouth for the next 10 days (starting tonight, so it bought me a whole 24 hours of not fighting him). UGHH! Oh well.

Right now, he is in Enid with his Daddy and his best friend POP! (jeff's step dad). He LOVES POP and asks for him all the time. We weren't going to send him, but the poor kid was traumatized all day and all night the night before and POP was ALL that he wanted. Literally, on our way home from the shots he WOULD. NOT. GET. OUT. OF. THE. CAR. He just kept insisting on "POP! HOME!" (meaning I want to go to Pop's house)....if he could've said I will not get out of this car until I see my Pop, I think he would've been screaming that at us. He wouldn't let us touch the car seat buckles...he was holding them and wouldn't let us get him out. So Jeff quickly packed up the bags and drove to Enid. I told him that he needed to probably let Jackson out every 30 minutes to let his legs stretch (because that is what the dr. said, they'd get stiff from the shots after 3 hours in the car) but when Jeff tried to get him out to do that he WOULD. NOT. GET. OUT. OF. THE. CAR. until he saw his POP...so trudged to Enid all the way and literally the second they saw Pop come out of the garage, Jeff said Jackson just went nuts....excited....legs RUNNING in place so fast like as if he was Dash from the incredibles and smiles and squeals of excitement until he could barely get him out of the car for Jackson's excitement sake. He said he is a totally different kid and you would NEVER know anything was wrong and he is as happy as a lark and is going 90 miles an hour. Oh that boy!

Creighton and I are in Bville alone and it is nice. She didn't have a great night because she got up at 1 or so and puked (from coughing) and then dry heaved for the next hour and then I finally got her to sleep alittle after 2 and then she was up again shortly after but I let her cry it out (for only like 2 minutes) and she went back to sleep, then wasup at 4 I think and I nursed her and she went back to sleep and then was up at 7 and back down and then up at 8, and I brought her to bed with me and she nursed straight from 8-9 and then fell asleep till almost 10. But I was asleep while she was nursing andI think she was too. Anyway, I am tired, but I am glad I got to stay in bed till 10. It was so sweet to wake up next to her and she was ALL smiles and giggles and gave me a HUGE hug that was way worth all the effort (by myself) to care for her in the night. This too shall pass...and I will miss her sweet toothless grin and giggles.

We went to lunch with one of my past small group girls today and that was fun! She is a good kid! I love her and it was good to get out of the house, but I realized on my way there that I hadn't brushed my teeth all day (she called at 11:23 and said they were going at 11:30)...and I stunk from being up and down and puked on and hadn't showered, but that's why I love Dani, because she didn't care :)

Jeff rode in a bike race this morning in Enid at 7:30a and it was like 22 miles. I am surprised he made it (not because he is a wimp) but just because he hasn't been riding in quite some time and has been sick this week. But he made it without even stopping....so proud....I think! :)

He is coming back without Jackson this afternoon (Jackson will come back Monday). I am excited for just him and I (and Creighton ) to spend time together.

As for my attitude yesterday, it wasn't so good. I tried my hardest to keep it together but meds all over me and the floor and my kids and 2 trips to the doctor and 2 trips to the pharmacy and I was done....I should have stopped and bathed in prayer, but I didn't...I went straight back to selfish and negative outlook mode and I lost it a few times. Oh why can't I just figure it out that I ca'nt do it on my own?! Oh well, I am learning, it is just taking a while. I am in better spirits today. Off to maybe take a little rest while C is napping.