Hoo-Ra

I wish I could blog today and say I am chipper and all is well. Neither are true.

I am sick with a cold that is kicking my butt.

My kids are at least trading turns (most of the time) on who will be headstrong and defiant, but defiant and headstrong they press on.

I am tired as sleep is not coming.

Still claiming His promises, but still within a mighty battle. Now physcially as well as emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Can I get a hoo-ra?

Going out with a bang!

Today hasn't been one I would chalk up on my list of good days!

Although the morning started off with the kids sleeping in, that is about where the good stopped. At least for a while.

I wanted to go play volleyball with a bunch of adults, so I got the kids all ready to go and Jeff was going to come too. So we all get in the car. We are heading there and at a stop light a police car was behind us. As I was driving off from the light his lights come on.

I pull over in a church parking lot and reach down to get my license out of my wallet. Guess what? Not there.

That wouldn't be bad, but it got much much worse from there.

Thank goodness Jeff is with me because he had his license (although he wasn't driving) and we had the insurance for the car. The problem would be that, according to the law, technically speaking, our car was considered stolen, and the tags were very expired.

So, I guess my day would be a lot worse if the most severe actions were taken: impound my car and take me to jail.

But the worse part came when we got to the tag agency and they threatened to do the same thing because BOTH of our vehicles were in the same condition...expired tags and not in our name (null and void titles). Oh yeah, and the license plate number we DO have on the Nissan wasn't registered to anyone and wasn't in the system at all.

Again, thankfully, they did not take drastic measures in punishing us, other than financially we are now 1100 dollars in the hole. in the red. broke.

I think it is all just weighing in exponentially because just before we left for Enid this week, we had to get 2 new tires, new brakes, new alignment, new this and that for the car, costing us an arm and a leg (unexpected)

Then our sink pipes/plumbing was leaking all over our kitchen and Jeff spent a ton of hours and 2 trips to Lowe's to fix.

Then our dishwasher broke last night.

Then our oven we had to jerry-rig last night (thankfully not out any money)

On top of an expensive month for us anyway...ugh.

I hate money.

But I am very very very thankfully we have two cars still in our possession and neither of us is spending the holidays in jail.

So, note to all people who didn't know: you need to get the title changed to your name and get new tags immediately after you get a new/used car... it makes sense, but neither of us knew this...at all.

And now I sound like I am three

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I had to just get it out.

My son, oh my son...this week has been really hard for us all. He has resisted sleep in all its forms every.single.day. I am so tired of fighting him. I don't know whether to give up, or get tougher. Tonight I think I might explode as he is STILL not asleep and it's been over an hour fight.

Creighton goes to bed SO easily right now and she takes naps. She isn't sleeping as late as I'd like her to in the morning, but I am hoping I may have helped solved the problem with putting up a black out thing in her room.

He is driving me nuts. Spankings, raising my voice, threats, loss of privileges, putting back and putting back and putting back...and STILL nothing...he is still getting out. Still crying. Still calling my name. I can't handle it! I want to scream and beat him, but I know it wouldn't do any good. He is SO tired he can't fall asleep. Without a nap and not getting home till so late just isn't working on Wednesdays.

But I don't know what to do. I can't bail out on my small group and Jeff obviously can't bail out on church...that's his job. And it's my commitment. I do have seniors and am seriously contemplating NOT leading a small group next year for the first time ever. It's just too hard on my kids. I love it though so much.

I hate it that we can't be consistent with our daily lives. Each day is different than the one before and that is hard on me. I am just wiped out and my body aches and hurts ALL over and I am exhausted and grumpy too.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. and now I sound like I am three

Humpf!

Psalm 127:2 "In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves. "

Starting to wonder here...I know God loves me, but why then, will he not grant me sleep? Even when there is no one and nothing else in the house to make it not happen, and even with insomnia pills, for crying out loud!

I went to bed at 10p last night, after spending some time in the word/bible study/prayer, and yet I saw the clock at 2, 4, 6, 6:30, 7:20, 8 and finally just got up. I just don't get it. Why?

I want to scream, but I can't because my head hurts too bad. I am a bit peeved. Humpf!

And now I have to go blow a whistle for 3 hours, reffing 3 volleyball matches. Ugh. I thought I'd get a really great night's sleep and it would be fine, but I am thinking I wish I would have just said no. Oh well.

Good news is I get paid I guess! ;)

In the dumps...

I just commented on Dalene's post Seaworthy and decided I'd blog finally on my own about it.

I am just in the dumps. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Mentally. Every "-lly" there is right now. I hate it.

You know I KNOW not to write that things are going just peachy, because then they will certainly not remain that way, but I did. And they didn't.

To say I am barely hanging on is an understatement. I don't really know what I am holding on to, or how, but I find that I am still able to breathe, even on the days I wish I wasn't, or feel incapable to do so. Somehow I am still functioning on the outside. At least enough for most to not notice that something is very wrong on the inside.

I've been to the doctor. She said my blood work is all normal. But my headaches are of some concern (22 days straight with no let up and no amount of Tylenol or Motrin even touches it). So, if I can find the money to have a CAT scan then that is the next step. I've had a massage to see if that would help. I have tried spending money, but that only made it worse. I've tried exercise, and that almost makes it worse. I've tried loving, no help. I've tried bitterness and rage and short temper, and of course that sent me back a few hundred steps in healing anything. I am just in the dumps and don't have a "pic-axe and rope" to save my life.

My sweet hubby took the kids to Enid today and won't be back till Saturday night or Sunday morning. Maybe, just maybe, this will allow me some rest (which was my diagnosis by the way: Sleep Deprivation) and get my house in order (also causing much distress in my mind) and spend some time with my Jesus (because I know if I just would REALLY go there, I'd be okay).

One Hot Momma...

"ARRRRGGGGGG" in terms of our Pirates Who Don't Do Anything theme for VBS.

Tonight went from bad to worse quickly. Didn't get to go to Nikao tonight because we were preparing for tomorrow's craft in VBS and I had a counseling session with a youth that lasted 3 hours. I am just exhausted anyway, so it was just bad timing I guess. Not to mention my stomach is killing me because of some frozen dinner I ate. Creighton isn't feeling well I don't think. I get home and my house is 90 degrees! It is WAY cooler outside than inside because sometime while we were gone to church our AC stopped working (brand spanking new unit we just paid a heck of a lot of money for). Hottness! Have two grumpy kids because they too are exhausted beyond themselves.

Grumpy to begin with mommy + two grumpy kids in hot house=NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL.

Jeff came home (when he was needing to be at work writing) and he was grumpy before he came home and now is even more grumpy than me...

The other day Jeff came home and said he'd heard the Trace Adkins song "One Hot Momma" and said (as a compliment) that I was one and that should be my song (I don't really know the words, so hopefully it isn't a bad song). Anyway, whatever he meant by it, I am tonight. Just a little different usage of the word HOT.

It's not fun here tonight...nope. Not one bit. My eyes and body hate me...I am going to TRY to go to sleep in the heat with the windows open...um...yeah...whatever.

Sorry for complaining. I am still blessed...just being "tested" of my joy in the trials...so far I get an F

Birthday Party and Blues *Updated

One of Jackson's little friends had a birthday party today and it was very fun. Vicki is so talented and creative! I am sure she'll probably put up some pics on her blog soon, so check here if you want to see them. She made everything there so cute! The theme was ladybugs and bees. She cut big holes and stripes in black bags and put red and yellow tissue paper, respectively, in each one and it was so cute! Those were the gift bags for the guests and they had cute little books, bubbles (ladybug of course) and a bumble bee toy and some candy. The cakes were precious little round cakes with the shape of bee and ladybug. The "pin the tail on the donkey" game was adjusted to put the ladybug (sticker) on the flower (she had drawn and katie had colored on big science fair project board)...it was cute. They did the blind fold but some of the kids didn't enjoy that, but still did it. She had cute pinwheels for gifts. Then she had pre-cut little bees and ladybugs to make magnets for crafts! The food was so great for preschoolers too. She had little sandwiches, bumble bee graham crackers, cheese cubes, lots of really great fruit and veggies...it was great!

Jackson and Creighton are the opposite of shy. Like in EVERY way. There were some kids that were playing, but most of them were quiet and/or sitting in their parents' laps the.whole.time! Mine on the other hand were like a three (even though there is only two of them) ringed circus! I feel a bit absurd now because of HOW bad of a mood I am in, but my kids are trying to drive me crazy (I know this isn't true) but really...I feel that way.

They do not know how to sleep (in) anymore and that is so frustrating to me. They don't know how to take naps anymore and in the middle of days like today, that is like torturous for me. They need more sleep. I need more time away alone. So that makes for 3 unhappy people.

Creighton literally wakes up screaming and crying and just ridiculous from her naps. I know she isn't getting enough rest or she wouldn't be like that. I can't stand the fits and crying all the time. Then Jackson will be sweet, but only till Creighton wakes up and then whine whine whine is all I hear...its driving me berrying nuts! (if you read Jen you might know what that means)

There is not enough junk food to keep me sane for the next few days. I swear I am such a stress eater! If I was an alcoholic, today I might have died of extreme intoxication...good thing I am not. (maybe)

Sorry for my ranting...maybe one day my children will behave again...thanks to all of you who let me know at least I am not alone. Let's all pray for sunshine the next few days, if for no other reason, but I REALLY need some vitamin D and serotonin flowin'---really bad.

Vickie, thanks for the birthday party! That was way awesome!

* Updated I added pictures of what Creighton was dressed like because it is one of her new outfits and I love it! And I figure with such a whine of a post, I needed to add something worth looking at :) (well I guess the party information was good) :)

Anyway, I am getting out of my funk slowly, but I sure was in one! Everything was going wrong (so it seemed) and I was whining just as much as they were and acting like a two year old too! I think they were rubbing off on me...thanks for enduring, that is if you made it this far down the post.

What a day

I am not certain why today was such a difficult day with the kids, but man, was it a doozy. There wasn't so much one particular thing that happened, it was the every second on the second occurrence of outlandish behavior by BOTH of my children. We also had invited 3 different moms and their kids over for play today at our house. It was a little crazy but not too bad. There were 4 mommies and 8 kids. All of the other kids seemed to play so happily and fine, but mine were little heathens the entire time almost. Its so frustrating! I felt like a horrible mother during and after everyone was here. Lunch went relatively smoothly (I think they were starving--probably had a lot to do with it). Needless to say, I was wiped out by nap time and took one myself!

After nap, it was a little bit better for about an hour or so while we danced and sang and had lots of fun, and then out of nowhere the craziness began again. So I decided we were leaving the house and going to the pet store. I have no earthly idea what enticed this notion in my head, but at the time I thought it sounded better than going insane at home. I am happy to report that nothing was broken (well there is a dead fish on the floor of the pet store, but it was already dead in the net on the tank and one little girl whom will remain nameless (not Creighton) helped it onto the floor and Jackson then accidentally stepped on it--not his fault) and we left there unscathed.

Creighton threw a horrid temper tantrum as we were leaving...causing a huge scene though! She LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES dogs---well any and all animals and they are all dogs to her. She is so funny about it but it is getting very old. She loves to go see Molly and Hershey, the dogs next door, but they aren't always out and the neighbors don't care for us to be over there unless they are there because they bark so much. Anyway, needless to say it is a battle every day for her desire to go see the dogs and my stance on "no". It is awful (which may be why I decided to go see the dogs at the pet store today).

Anyway, tonight thankfully was parents night out. I desperately needed that! We had a nice dinner with Kara and Mike and then went to the Power Team thing for a little bit and the Josh McDowell thing for a little bit (not too exciting either of them in my opinion) and then we came home and relaxed a little bit before having to go get them at 10. We were the last ones to get them. :) Oh well. We weren't late though! Now they are both in bed and that is a good thing! I am going to bed soon...very soon.

Glad today is coming to an end. Not ecstatic at all that Jeff is leaving us for a "business trip" till Tuesday night late though! :( Very sad about that...very very sad.

Of Course...

You know when I went to bed after my "He's listening" post below I could have told you I was doomed....and I was.

I saw EVERY single cotton-picking hour on the clock that night/morning from 9p-9a. It was awful. Neither of them slept, so of course I didn't...but my sweet and darling husband managed to sleep through it ALL! :/

Needless to say I was VERY grouchy yesterday and last night wasn't much better, but at least Jackson didn't wake up till 5a this morning but thankfully went back to sleep (with us of course) till 8:45. Today, I am still rather grouchy but a little less because they are at least at school.

I took Creighton to the doctor last Tuesday to find out she had a really bad ear infection and not so bad ear infection AND a sinus infection. She's been on antibiotics TWICE A DAY religiously since and yet last night she was so so so upset about her ears...she was pulling like mad and screaming like crazy...from 11-12:15 and then from 3-4 until I finally just brought her to bed with me, which happened to be the miracle cure...or maybe it was all the Tylenol I gave her...because she slept great till 7:15 and then I nursed her and she went back to sleep till 9.

Jackson has been talking a lot about monsters lately...and it absolutely breaks my heart because I can be immobilized at times by my fears at night and I hate it that he might have that too. He was talking with Jeff in the shower last night about his previous night's sleeplessness and he was saying there was a monster and he began describing him and says he is on his wall. I hate that for him SO much. Any advice on how to get past this with him? He has a night light on already and a fan for noise so he doesn't hear outside noises and/or Creighton's cries. It just breaks me really to think of his fears!

Anyway, I desperately need to get some rest...I decided that I absolutely could NOT get pregnant again just for the sole reason of I wouldn't make it another year without sleep...really, I wouldn't! My depths of my being just canNOT function without it. I heard a commercial that man can survive 12 days without sleep...that is a load of bull! I wouldn't make it past the 2nd day...

Sorry for my complaining...I am just severely in a funk!

I am going to have lunch with one of my small group girls though and I visited one of my other ones this morning who had surgery yesterday and so that helped and I hope my lunch helps lift my mood (and helps me feel I have purpose again)...

Good day y'all...and Baby A is a whole week old today!!! :)---when I think of this I hate that I typed any of the above with any complain in my voice because I do have healthy babies...and I do know that I am so blessed! Forgive my complaining

What a first night!

Well, I could tell last night that my weekend had "worked" and I was refreshed and feeling like I could conquer the world...(or just two toddlers...which some days feels like the world)...this morning was great. I noticed their whines and such, but no problem, still feeling awesome...they did have school today, which obviously made it easy throughout the day because they were running wild with someone else (and loving it--they don't like leaving!).

After school we played hard for an hour at the park, which was fun...albeit much colder and windy-er than I had anticipated...but fun nonetheless. We quickly ran home and had snacks and I threw on my workout clothes from earlier in the day when I played almost 2 hours of volleyball (fun), and I threw dinner in the oven and ran out the door to go to the YMCA where I am taking a step class that I absolutely love! The kids ran around and played hard in the nursery there while Jeff and I worked out.

We came home to an amazing smelling home and a HOT dinner ready to eat. It was perfect, well besides that my floor and table are NO longer clean whatsoever. But, like I said yesterday, that is just my "normal" and to have it clean and smelling so good was just "fantasy" and certainly not reality by any stretch of the imagination.

Dinner went okay but the kids didn't eat really well, but I thought not a big deal...they did eat something and had a snack earlier...

Well, it pretty much was nuts from that point on (when Daddy left to go to Bible Study)...

We played for a little bit, and then I decided it was time for bath. Bath went decent for the first part, and Jackson was ready to get out to go finish his Veggie Tales movie so I got him out, dried and dressed and sent him on his way (so wonderful that he is so independent with so many things)...and Creighton was NOT ready at all to get out of the tub...so I let her play as the water was draining and I began taking all the toys and the mat out. Thank goodness! She was playing slippin' slide with the tub without any water and was having the time of her life! I was helping her so she wouldn't keep banging her head so hard...but she never cried, just laughed...

Then I was going to wipe her nose but decided to blow mine first (sometimes I do this so she'll be less aprehensive about me wiping hers) and my nose started GUSHING blood...everywhere. I stuck an entire kleenex up there and somehow (seriously I don't know how) it was still DRIPPING outside of the kleenex...

So all over my white bathroom that I just spent 2 days cleaning I am bleeding everywhere and I am trying to get it cleaned up and stopped, or at this point at least slowed down enough to move. As I am leaning over the sink, I hear a toot from Creighton, no big deal, much bigger things to deal with than her toot...well literally I turn around and there is POOP everywhere...she was slippin' and sliding all in it and it was now all over my tub and tub walls (not to mention Creighton) that I had just scrubbed (her too)....So I abandon my nose and I go back to her and try desperately to get her up and cleaned off as my nose is gushing blood ---bright red---everywhere all over the tub, and then she slips again, just as I get all the poop off the tub (thankfully I had all the toys and mat up and there wasn't water in the tub, made for a much easier clean up) and is covered now in poop and blood from head to toe...seriously it was so disgusting! I get her all cleaned off....I think I washed her poor body like 100 times over and over, as in I used half a bottle of Aveno baby wash!

Get her dressed, and my prayers were working as I was panicking prayers up to God for my nose to stop bleeding so I could take care of her...and it did, eventually!

Then we come play and have a good ole time with the slide and the cars. Jackson's movie is over (which by the way he was oblivious to the disaster in the bathroom...thank goodness he wanted to leave, which he NEVER usually does). So I tell them 5 minutes and its time to go read books and we need to start picking up the toys....this is where Jackson begins the torture...he doesn't help pick up ONE toy...so he is not playing with them tomorrow...he throws a fit.

I tell him its time for bed which he thought was more punishment and I tried to explain it was time for bed no matter what. So, then I had to spank him. More crying, more fits. Tell him its time to brush his teeth and more fits....finally he comes and of course I put toothpaste on the wrong toothbrush, more fits. I about choke him to death getting his teeth brushed (unwilling, of course). He throws another fit when we get in his room because I told him he didn't earn a book tonight. Then I give him his blanky and binky and put him in his bed and he proceeds to throw the binky across the room. I told him I was sorry he did that and kissed him goodnight and walked out.

I read Creighton some books all the while Jackson is literally beating his door down. There is a child door safety thing on it so he can't get out if it is closed all the way. Well, he locked his door somehow and broke the child safety thing off the door. But because he had locked the door in the process, then he really couldn't get out....more yelling and crying and screaming and fit throwing (not to mention his light was off, so he was in the dark). Finally he calms down a little bit and begins trying his best to calmly tell me he was sorry and he wanted to listen and he REALLY wanted his binky but couldn't find it. So, I went in to get his binky and calm him down a little more so he'd settle down...he was so tired (and now worn competely out). I put him in his bed and he asked for a book again, but I told him not tonight and he thought about crying but I think he was just too tired. We prayed and he was asleep before I left the room.

So I go back into Creighton's room (we had to come out to get her medicine) to nurse her to sleep and she gets a tickle in her throat and throws up ALL OVER ME and herself and the chair and the carpet ( mind you all things that were recently clean!--with the exception of me). So I take her back to the bathroom and clean her up and she starts dancing immediately...like ah I just needed to get that out! :) She is so funny...although I wasn't laughing then. Change her pajamas and nurse her for a few more minutes and lay her down. I was hoping that she'd fall right asleep but she screamed her head off. I had to go take a shower because I needed not to hear her cries and I was gross (volleyball, step class, dinner, bathtime, nose bleed, poop, and throw up....)

Now I am clean and they are both asleep...whew...what a first night back into mommyhood...but I can still say, life is good, I am so blessed and I still am doing fine (thanks to my weekend away)...:)

Oh yes, and my time with my husband was so sweet last night. I cuddled up next to him and we talked for hours...it was fantastic! He was absolutely precious to me and treated me like a queen and stole my heart again...like he likes to do! He is truly wonderful!

A little bit of chaos...

Well, yesterday was quite the day...I spent the morning/early afternoon sans kids which was nice, but I had a lot to get done so it wasn't relaxing or anything, but rather productive, which was a good feeling. I had to go to Walmart and I actually didn't go crazy and I stuck to my list! That is such a good thing for me because I often get caught up in being Madame Blueberry. I came home and started to make homemade Minestrone soup! I love it and its good for you. Jeff is trying to lose weight (and SO.AM.I!) So that is a good way to start. I cleaned my kids' rooms and did one load of laundry (with the need to do like 9 more).

Jeff did go get the kids for me so I could get in a few minutes to relax and that was really great! I snuck in a few minute nap (rest), and then they were home. They had a good day at school, which is always nice to hear. Then for some reason when they got home they decided to go a little haywire! I didn't know what was into them, but it was crazy. (although I know now).

Jeff left to go to work because things were a little crazy up there for their special Nikao night where they were doing Vespers. (it ended up going well!) The second he left, the chaos increased ten-fold by the minute. Creighton was incredibly needy and wanted to nurse constantly and Jackson began whining and crying and acting very odd. I was about to lose it. He was then just crying and holding his ears and crying and screaming and crying some more and yet every time I tried to console him, cuddle him, Creighton would FREAK OUT! IT was awful...I can't imagine having three, or four, or six to deal with at the same time!

His ear was turning bright red and getting very hot, and I don't know why but it made me panic and by this time it was after 5 WHY.DO.THEY.ONLY.GET.SICK.AFTER.5PM? so I desperately tried to get them (both screaming at this point) into the car to go to the afterhours clinic. I did finally get them in and we left and the clinic was full...no big deal, there are 2 more. Well, I went to the one and Creighton was asleep in the car now, so I checked in and said I'd be right back and was leaving to go take her to the nursery at the church, now that it was after 6 and there were sitters there. (who needs to have 2 babies with all the sickies by myself when there is a church nursery?) So, I drive all the way to the church and drop her off...whew....and then remember that there is another Afterhours clinic that doesn't charge anything more than the co-pay and I check to see if they are busy. THey aren't so I end up staying there with him there (and I never went back to tell the other one we weren't coming back).

Anyway, it was almost torturous for the Jackson to be there at this point and he is acting like someone is slowly killing him. Looking in this kids ears is just a ridiculous proceedure. He is awful. He freaks out and now he knows its coming long before it happens and he gets himself VERY worked up. I was thankful that he didn't look in his throat this time, thinking it would save us a trip similar to past vomitting experiences. He has a double ear infection, poor kid! But we are good to go within a matter of moments and all is well. He is calming down from the ear torture and cuddling with me. He wants to go to the church to see his Daddy and so off we go (with a mid stop to the pharmacy)...

or so I think...

As soon as I get the kid in the car, all 5 point harnessed in and start driving, no sooner than I get to the parking lot exit as he starts the vomitting process. I feel helpless, it looks horribly painful and awful. I pull over get out, start to dry-heave myself from the grossness of it all. I try my best to clean him up, but give up completely because he can't (and doesn't) stop puking everywhere all over the car, himself, his seat, me, his ever beloved blanky and binky, and its everywhere. I feel horrible for him and honestly, for myself too, because I just didn't want to have to deal with it. I hate it that he has such crazy gag reflex. It is such that once he starts gagging he can't stop and its just awful to watch and then more awful to clean up. Did you know that kids (atleast mine) don't really chew their food up well...TMI sorry.

WE come home, strip, shower, put on new clothes, clean up the car, put him in Creighton's seat and grab her old seat, take it to the church (so Jeff can bring her home later), go to the pharmacy, pick up dinner for me (he fell asleep in the car), go back to the pharmacy, head home and eat and then clean up the rest of the car and seat and throw a nice pity party for myself.

Jeff finally got home, not knowing ANY thing of what had occurred and I am more wiped out that I can attest to (thank heavens I hadn't had the kids all day or I might not have made it through the evening/night).

Jackson didn't sleep well and Creighton was up early. We went to the YMCA twice today though because I wanted to go back to my TurboKick class that I really like (today was my second day)...and then tonight...Jackson wanted to go swimming...and I am idiot and I don't know how I forgot all of the above madness and agreed to let him go....until he got in the water and started holding his ears...am I an idiot or what? Anyway, I have been waiting to get on the computer for forever so I could blog....

I am exhausted and was ready for bed a long time ago....but I had to blog.

Heres to SPRING, please hurry!

Time change Stinks!

Who's idea was it to EVER change the clocks back? or foward? I used to LOVE it whenever I was in my single/non-mom days when we'd gain an hour of sleep...however, I am not loving it now. It was getting dark by 5:30. Who does that benefit?! It gets bright EARLY....that benefits NO mother!!!! The days are SOOOOOO long right now....I am so exhausted. We've already had baths and dinner and are in pjs and its only 6:30. For some families, that is normal maybe, but we usually are wrapping up this routine about 9pm. I like our schedule...but now its crazy. They'd always go play outside after dinner and it was fabulous and now its dark.

My cell phone is officially baptized in La Toliet and died upon its coming up. So, I am trying to find one to "borrow" long term till I am up for an upgrade (which since I JUST GOT THIS ONE, won't be for like 20 more months!).

I took Jackson to the doctor today because he has a nasty sounding cough. Good news: He's fine. Bad news: He threw up so much and for so long that he clogged the sink in the little room where there seemed to be NO air flow and the stinch and foulness was awful! (he can't handle the checking of the throat because of his HYPER sensitive gag reflex of his---and she acts like nothing was happening!!!!!!!!!ugh!

I am in a fairly foul mood...sorry. I shouldn't be. I know I just need to change my perspective and attitude. I will!

Really?!?

Okay, so I must preface this post with: I haven't yet killed my kids, and I am sure that it is only by the grace of God, or their guardian angels are working extra hard or I am afraid of jail time.



Last night, one of my kids (I think Creighton) threw my cell phone in the toilet. By the time I realized it was there, it has been at least 20 minutes and now is deader than dead. Jackson seemed to begin at this point his new found state of CHILD DEVIL...thoughts of Denis the Menace or Problem Child don't even come close to his state of being at the present time.



He did several things last night that were a little bit crazy, but not completely off kilter. At the moment I am so discouraged as a mom, I can't even remember them...however, today, I remember...boy do I remember.



He was a little pill this morning at church and very defiant. He has learned the terrible question words "what?" "why?" and "where?" and constantly says them, unless of course he just replies incessantly "huh?" to everything I say, whether he hears me or not. We left the church and he said he wanted "pay-O" so I proceeded to Taco Bueno (because that sounded like a good plan). It was a gorgeous day and so I decided when he offered "park?" that I could oblige to that request also. So we went to Bueno, got our food, and were headed to the park. On the way to one park, he suggested we go to the park at Sonic. Creighton had fallen asleep by this point (big bummer) so I decided that Sonic would be good because I could just leave her in the car and be right there by car and be with Jackson at the same time.



Normally I just order Jackson a burrito and sometimes 2, but lately he has taken much delight in MY Mexi-Dip and Chips, so I ordered him a small chips & queso. I thought he'd be so excited and I was proud of myself for remembering (thinking it would make for a peaceful lunch). So, we get to Sonic, get out, leave Creighton sound asleep in the car (with the windows down). Sit down, pull out the food and drinks. I show Jackson that I got him queso and he is excited...he tries to take the lid off (as I was getting something else out) and spilled the ENTIRE cup all over him and the table and the floor and the bench and it was just everywhere. I was immediately mad...because not only was it everywhere, but there were no napkins, the wind was blowing now and causing more mess, and now I would end up sharing. If you have ever tried "sharing" with a two year old (strong willed child) you know that after the first dip, bite, taste, sip of whatever you are sharing, it is just pointless to try to share, but rather just easier to give it all to them (he usually back washes, gets it dirty, destroys...etc).



So, I am very upset, but trying to stay calm. He proceeds to dump then the salsa all over him too (why I didn't learn, I don't know). Then he goes to the playground (after he takes off all his socks/shoes) and gets SO sandy, which is easy to do when you are covered in salsa and queso. We played till Creighton woke up and then left quickly and came home and started lunch again. He never really ate and Creighton didn't. So I gave Creighton her beans and Jackson his burrito and chips. I start doing the dishes and turn around to see Creighton frantically rubbing her eyes, because she had gotten A LOT of beans in them. I get her cleaned up and Jackson was running around by this point (but he did eat at least). I find him after he ripped several books off the bookshelf and overturned his toy toolbox. I decide it is definitely time for ALL of us to take a nap, even though I wasn't for sure if Creighton would take too well to that. I didn't care really at that point



He wasn't happy about going down, but he did (one good thing about the day). I fed Creighton and put her in her crib SCREAMING. She eventually fell asleep. I attempted to put my phone back together to see if it would work. It didn't. I fell asleep for a little while and when I woke up to Creighton screaming again, I felt like I had a hangover (at least what I imagine a hangover to feel!). I brought her back to my room to see if she'd nurse--but really just so I could lay down some more. Not but 4 minutes later, Jackson is up, crying! So, I get back up from bed and go open his door and bring him back to my room.



Things are okay for about 10 minutes with us just being goofy and playing...then the phone rings...the house one and I am tied up for a few minutes. During this time, it had gotten quiet, so I KNEW that wasn't a good thing. I hang up immediately and realize that Jackson has COATED his legs (both of them) in toothpaste. Big mess. Big mess. Big mess! I get it cleaned up and try to figure out where else it was...and the phone rings again.



I am hosting a shower tonight so I felt I had to answer. So, I am on the phone and I get off quickly when I hear Jackson cry. I find them both in the garage COVERED from head to toe (including their clothing and their mouths) in Turtle Wax Color Cover (bright RED). It was all over the garage--little footprints all over the garage, little hand prints all over our NEW WHITE car. I freak out as soon as I realize it isn't paint (the non-toxic stuff that would have been funny instead of serious). I call poison control (whom I proceeded to talk to 6 times) and they inform me that I need to scrub them down and get them some food/drink. I scrub them down in the kitchen sink and then we take a shower. By the time I get them out of the shower Jeff had come home (I called him) and I forgot to get them food/drink. They were ridiculous trying to get them to stay out of the garage while Jeff cleaned up (isn't he great!?). While I was trying to keep them occupied and get them dressed and myself (in between phone calls with the Poison Control) Jackson climbed up on the computer out in the sun room and knocked off Jeff's glass chess set, shattering it everywhere. Really?!? Like is this all seriously happening?

*The Poison Control people said that because she got it in her mouth it could produce chemical induced pneumonia/asthma and that we needed to monitor her all night. She is wheezing really bad and coughing, but I am hoping it isn't the worse case scenario and that she'll be fine by morning!



My very awesome husband starts cleaning up that mess, as I am trying to get ready for the shower. I decide that I needed to take them to get flu shots, because at that point I didn't care that it was going to hurt him, and was hoping it would tame the wild beast that my sweet boy had turned into. (they were giving free flu shots till 6). I left the house at 5:22 and was back home with a vaccinated kid by 5:44.



I rushed to finish getting ready and I left the house to go to my shower, with crazy madness going on because Jeff was still trying to pick up all the glass in the sun room. I lock them in the backyard so Jeff could finish and I could leave. Jeff informed me that our little Houdini took the chair over to the window and climbed in through the window to get into the sun room. Really?! He's 2!



I had a really great time at Kara's shower and was really hoping to come home and find them both in bed.



That, however, was the furthest thing from what I came home to find:


Creighton is WAILING in the living room, and I can hear her from the garage. I open the door to see my husband on the floor trying to soak up 18 eggs shattered on the floor, along with grapes, strawberries, milk, and some other kind of food/drink substance that used to reside in our refrigerator. It was everywhere...from cabinet to wall, under the refrigerator, splashed up on the cabinets, refrigerator, walls...everywhere. Jeff took a picture because he said he was too mad to respond to them, and walking to the room to get a camera was their only saving grace.

That was the first time I saw the pictures...all I can say is I am very thankful that I wasn't home for this. I feel horribly for Jeff having to clean up so many of their messes today. I just am at my wits end with him...and I am certain that I don't have all of the days' incidents recorded here. But that's not all. I put him to bed tonight and then went to feed Creighton to put her down and she went to sleep. As I am shutting her door, I hear him SCREAM out from his room and he's been "down" now for about 15 minutes (and I thought asleep since I hadn't heard a peep from there). I rush in and he is screaming more and more and acting like he is dying. I find the light and turn it on and find him over between his bed and dresser standing holding his hands and shaking them. I pick him up and realized he had tried to unplug his nightlight and must have electrocuted himself and pretty good because he was still screaming and wouldn't let me even look at them. Tears are just streaming down his face and he is still screaming!!! I was horrified and then he finally calmed down. I got him relaxed and settled down and back down to sleep.

I am just in the dumps about my mothering at the moment and don't know WHAT.IN.THE.WORLD.HAPPENED. to my little people today. But I want mine back and will happily give these two back to wherever they came from!

Medical Craziness--Creighton!

My sweet baby girl is not well! She has an ear infection still...this is our 3rd round of antibiodics for her. This is the 5th visit to the doctor for her in 1 month. This time we came home with LOADS of medicine and "advice" to help her. She isn't eating, sleeping, and continues to scream with fury in the night!
It seems the doctor thinks she has GERD, reflux, asthma, ear infection, teething, gas, allergies and because of the latter, a runny nose, stuffy nose, cough, chest congestion--and lets not forget when she coughs she pukes! OH MY GOODNESSS>....

REALLY?!!?

She is on SO much medicine it CANNOT be healthy. I am "drugging" her with something all day now and for how long, I have no idea. She is on tylenol/motrin for pain, mylanta for gas and upset stomach, prevacid for GERD/relux, xopenex for asthma/chest congestion, antibiodic for ear infection, allegra for allergies, and one other med for relux/tummy/help her sleep called Levscon...really?! Can this be healthy for my 10 month old?

another doctor, another ear infection, another broken appliance...

Well again, I didn't think Creighton had an ear infection...probably because I just got finished giving her antibiodics for 10 days ending on Saturday, but we went for her recheck today and she is just a mess! Part of me is glad that there IS something the matter though because that explains her incredibly uncontrollable insconsolable disposition the last few days. She wants her put on breathing treatments because she is wheezing and coughing and rattles when she breathes, another (different) antibiodic for her 5th ear infection in 6 months, and ear drops because she cut her ear inside while checking it out today, not to mention the LOADS of tylenol/motrin I give her because she is cutting 25 teeth really only probably 4-6 at the same time! Poor kid! I'd be grumpy too!

Our water heater is broken, so I had a cold shower today and the kids went to bed dirty! Seriously, HOW MANY THINGS will we really have to replace this year...everything it is seeming! And all within such a short amount of time, and Jeff's school loans start coming November....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....if only this world wasn't run by money

Nikao went well and 3 of my freshmen girls were there! yeah! yeah! yeah! I had my first small group of the year and there were 4 juniors...I think they will be fun. It is going to be a challenge to say the least because of the varying personalities/places in life each of them are at, but it will be good! I like them already!

Too tired to write anymore...goodnight

One incredibly long day!

I didn't go to bed till 12:45 last night, and I was up at 4am because of Jeff and Creighton (Jeff woke me up, and then 10 minutes later she was crying!) I got back to bed at 5 but never fell asleep and my alarm went off at 6:20 and I was up getting ready (and nursing her again!) and the bus left a little after 7 and we made it there with plenty of time to spare.

My girls were in a really tough pool, but we ended up winning the last game against Broken Arrow's B team. So we finished 3rd in pool. Then we played the first bracket game and won (although they certainly tried several times to give it to the other team...thankfully, we pulled it off.) Then we were in the Championship game for the Consolation (Silver) Bracket...and we WON! We played the BA Bteam that we had beat earlier (soundly) but this time, it wasn't so sound...not even close. We took it to 3 games and missed more serves than I ever though possible....I was shocked that we pulled it off, but we did...and I am one proud coach! They had a long day....I am so tired my eyes are BURNING, but I am happy. I got to spend some GREAT tme with one of my small group girls that joined me for the tournament (to help coach)....and also with some of my girls...I really like them! Sometimes they frustrate me like only another coach would understnad, but I love them....and I love coaching....actually itis a love/hate relationship....sometimes, there is nowhere I'd rather not be and sometimes, I love being there.

We made it home about 8:45...too long too long! Ready for bed very very very soon...hope everyone else around here is!

I pumped so much today I HATE PUMPING! But I must say that I am really rather sad that I have to give "my" pump back to the lady it belongs to (she is having another baby this month). It makes me sad, really sad! I am attached to the dumb thing. It is a VITAL part of my day and a really good excuse to be on the computer :). ...I have pumped twice a day everyday (if not more) for the last almost 2 years or so....I love nursing my babies and it is sad that this time in life is almost over...the thought of giving it back makes me weepy....why is it when I hate pumping so much, I don't know!?


Before the tournament we were 2-5 and now we are 5-7!

Playing catch up.

Well, the doctor saw both kids yesterday at 10:30. Jackson seemed to be doing better and hadn't run a fever since 1am. So that was good. She thought his infections (although present) were not as big of a deal as the doctor the other night made them out to be. With the antibiodics, she thought he'd be just fine. But to watch him closely just in case ANY sign of progression or worsening (is that really a word?). She gave us a new antiB for Jackson because he couldn't/wouldn't keep the other one down. Creighton got checked out and thankfully she just has an ear infection. (the one time I DO NOT think she has an ear infection, she does...but I am certainly thankful she doesn't have pneumonia, however mild Jackson's case may or may not be). So, back to the drug store for more Anti Bs for 2 kids. I fight both of them to take theirs, and again, Jackson will NOT keep it in/down, so I call the doctor at 3:45 and she has me bring him BACK to get a shot of antiB (if that is available SERIOUSLY why do they not JUST DO THAT THE FIRST TIME! instead of me fighting wrestling an alligator would be easier him twice a day for 10 days!!). Anyway, the shots went okay, he cried pretty hard and his legs went numb and he couldn't walk...and then all that for them to tell me because of the amount of infections in his body he STILL had to take the antiBs by mouth for the next 10 days (starting tonight, so it bought me a whole 24 hours of not fighting him). UGHH! Oh well.

Right now, he is in Enid with his Daddy and his best friend POP! (jeff's step dad). He LOVES POP and asks for him all the time. We weren't going to send him, but the poor kid was traumatized all day and all night the night before and POP was ALL that he wanted. Literally, on our way home from the shots he WOULD. NOT. GET. OUT. OF. THE. CAR. He just kept insisting on "POP! HOME!" (meaning I want to go to Pop's house)....if he could've said I will not get out of this car until I see my Pop, I think he would've been screaming that at us. He wouldn't let us touch the car seat buckles...he was holding them and wouldn't let us get him out. So Jeff quickly packed up the bags and drove to Enid. I told him that he needed to probably let Jackson out every 30 minutes to let his legs stretch (because that is what the dr. said, they'd get stiff from the shots after 3 hours in the car) but when Jeff tried to get him out to do that he WOULD. NOT. GET. OUT. OF. THE. CAR. until he saw his POP...so trudged to Enid all the way and literally the second they saw Pop come out of the garage, Jeff said Jackson just went nuts....excited....legs RUNNING in place so fast like as if he was Dash from the incredibles and smiles and squeals of excitement until he could barely get him out of the car for Jackson's excitement sake. He said he is a totally different kid and you would NEVER know anything was wrong and he is as happy as a lark and is going 90 miles an hour. Oh that boy!

Creighton and I are in Bville alone and it is nice. She didn't have a great night because she got up at 1 or so and puked (from coughing) and then dry heaved for the next hour and then I finally got her to sleep alittle after 2 and then she was up again shortly after but I let her cry it out (for only like 2 minutes) and she went back to sleep, then wasup at 4 I think and I nursed her and she went back to sleep and then was up at 7 and back down and then up at 8, and I brought her to bed with me and she nursed straight from 8-9 and then fell asleep till almost 10. But I was asleep while she was nursing andI think she was too. Anyway, I am tired, but I am glad I got to stay in bed till 10. It was so sweet to wake up next to her and she was ALL smiles and giggles and gave me a HUGE hug that was way worth all the effort (by myself) to care for her in the night. This too shall pass...and I will miss her sweet toothless grin and giggles.

We went to lunch with one of my past small group girls today and that was fun! She is a good kid! I love her and it was good to get out of the house, but I realized on my way there that I hadn't brushed my teeth all day (she called at 11:23 and said they were going at 11:30)...and I stunk from being up and down and puked on and hadn't showered, but that's why I love Dani, because she didn't care :)

Jeff rode in a bike race this morning in Enid at 7:30a and it was like 22 miles. I am surprised he made it (not because he is a wimp) but just because he hasn't been riding in quite some time and has been sick this week. But he made it without even stopping....so proud....I think! :)

He is coming back without Jackson this afternoon (Jackson will come back Monday). I am excited for just him and I (and Creighton ) to spend time together.

As for my attitude yesterday, it wasn't so good. I tried my hardest to keep it together but meds all over me and the floor and my kids and 2 trips to the doctor and 2 trips to the pharmacy and I was done....I should have stopped and bathed in prayer, but I didn't...I went straight back to selfish and negative outlook mode and I lost it a few times. Oh why can't I just figure it out that I ca'nt do it on my own?! Oh well, I am learning, it is just taking a while. I am in better spirits today. Off to maybe take a little rest while C is napping.

Gag reflexes

Both of my kids have incredibly sensitive gag reflexes...so, when they get a cough, it is an awful thing. Please pray for me this week (or next 6-8 weeks according to the doctor) because both of my kids have a nagging cough...and therefore, there is mass vomitting. They are sick, in fact, after they get the mucus up, they are happy as can be and you'd never know they just puked all over me. They are fine and then they cough and I wish I could run for cover, but I can't, I have to take it all...on me...because it is easier to clean me up than them, the carpet, the bedding, the toys and anything else they mighthit on the way out.
We struggled through this with Jackson for what seemed an ETERNITY last winter-spring, and I was hoping Creighton would NOT be the same, but so far as of this morning at 6am, she is the exact same. Jackson's cough isn't nearly as bad, and I am hoping it doesn't get bad....two pukers at once is more than I am confident in handling.
Itis just crazy. They don't act tired or sick or run fevers or anything. Just out of the blue they will get a little tickle in their throat and then bam! its a little crazy for like 30 seconds and its like it never happened to them....(they doh'nt have to clean up...)
I hate it, I really do! My cleaning up after some friends in college after making poor choices was enough for me...do I really have to have TWO kids with this issue!?
Okay, I am done complaining...they are wonderful kids and I am blessed to have them...I am just so tired right now and I should be in bed now anyway...goodnight all!

Well, crud!

So today was Jeff's birthday. I wanted it to be so special, but seems that I faulted in that area. The original plan was to send him to TUlsa for an all day at the movies adventure staying there from open to close...that was exactly what he wanted...I should have just stuck with the plan. However the movies that he wanted to see (that he waited all summer to see for his birthday movie day) were no longer at the big movie theater but now all at the dollar movies. Well, I decided to scratch that plan andgo with this:

Sleep in
Get a massage
Go to lunch with Family
Get cards, special cake, a card and art from jackson
Play nintendo while kids napped (and I went to volleyball)
Go to dinner with either me or someone else or family
Go to Discount THeater in Bville to see ONE of the movies he'd waited all summer to see
Then go to dinner on Saturday at a nice restaurant just he and I....

Well, here is how the day really went:
Came to bed at 4am (Jeff)
Sleep in (with Jackson in bed with us)
Decides 10 minutes before massage appt. he didn't want it (a little commotion)
Takes Jackson on a bike ride to Blockbuster (with intention to come home and go to library and lunch after C wakes up)
Neither of those two things happen
Commotion--a little more commotion
Jeff goes to Library alone with a 25 minute time limit and leaves me at home with two CRANKY kids who need to eat, take a nap, a mom who needs to eat, shower, pump, and get dressed and ready for a volleyball game (all in 35 minutes) NONE of that went well, so upon arrival---
COMMOTION CENTRAL
Mom leaves for vball a lot frazzled, Jackson wakes up 15 minutes after I leave, no lunch and no video game time for dad...Creighton wakes up shortly after.
Mom loses volleyball game and leaves gym early to come to eat dinner with family (but that didn't work out AT ALL).

MORE MAJOR COMMOTION LIKE YOU WOULDN"T BELIEVE

Me in tears, Jeff having worst birthday ever
Me leaving to try to figure out how in the world to turn the day around, so I start calling every kid I know to throw an impromtu suprise party (this is 7:20) at 8pm (on a school night) and so I run to Maggie Moo's to get a cake (ice cream cake, yes) and bring it home and there are maybe 6 kids here and 2 came later....

Now the kids are in bed and I am almost finished pumping and I have no idea if he enjoyed it at all because we haven't had the opportunity to talk quite yet amidst all the chaos since all the kids that came (minus the two late ones) came before I arrived...lets just say, I hope he wasn't in his boxers with a trashed house...(he was dressed and the house was mildly clean when I arrived).

Oh man, its been a day...

Volleyball

Okay, so Monday was INSANE and I didn't have the opportunity to blog about it, but I will now. We had a game that was scheduled at 5 for Freshman, 6 for JV and 7 for Varsity in Edmond North (which is about 3 hours away from Bartlesville). We are suppose to leave at 1 o'clock but the Head Coach's sub didn't show up on time, so we were late getting started. But once we did get on the road, everything seemed fine. We get about an hour and 45 minutes down towards OKC and the bus breaks down. As in it literally just STOPPED on the road and wouldn't start. Thankfully we were going about 70 miles an hour so it gave him about 300 yards to try to get the bus off the road before it just wouldn't go another inch. We were inches from the right lane and on a turnpike where most cars and semis are going at least 75 if not 90. They were narrowly missing us everytime they'd pass. We were stuck between two bridges on about 60 yard stretch of half shoulder. (Need I remind you that we had 3 coaches and 34 players on a SCHOOL YELLOW BUS). There was no water, no food (unless you brought your own) no air conditioning and 37 hot bodies needing to pee, change out of hot jeans/pants/school clothes.
They called the bus barn and they said they'd send a bus. The bus didn't show up till 5:47! We sat on the side of the road for an eternity. Oh yeah, didn't remember to mention up there, but I had a huge clogged milk duct in my breast and was way due for a pumping right about the time we broke down...(with no electricity) and no baby. That is another story...
In the mean time, the girls were great and didn't complain too much. Some of the parents that were on the way to the game stopped by and took some of the girls back, so after about an hour or so we were down to 24 players. Really...they took all the upper classmen and left ALL of the freshmen and a 2 sophomores.
Then the state trooper comes up with lights all flashing (after we'd been sitting for an hour and 45 minutes) and told us we needed to be evacuated from the bus "immediately"...did he forget the part that we'd already been sitting for almost 2 hours. It seemed that up ahead a power line fell and started a fire and we were unsafe (as if we were really safe without the fire because of how and where the bus broke down).
So, one parent who had been with us the whole time, packed 10 of us in her car like sardines LITERALLY and took us to McDonalds about 10 minutes up from the breakdown and the rest of the girls and the rest of the coaches were waiting on city/state vehicles to evacuate them from the site. Well there weren't enough adults or coaches to go around so some of the vehicles only had girls (need I remind you all 15-16 years old) in them. When they get to the McDonalds they inform me that their "driver" had porn in his truck adn they were really terrified and nervous and scared (who wouldn't be?!). SO that is great! All of them finally make it, except for the head coach who is still back at the bus waiting on the tow truck to come. This is about 5:10 when they all show up. About 5:30 the head coach comes in the trooper car and the bus shows up shortly afterward and we all pile on to HEAD TO BARTLESVILLE...yes, after all that we didn't even go to Edmond, we just turned around and went home! We got home at 8:20ish or so. So, that was insane!

But ON BETTER NEWS!....
We won tonight. We had a home match against Collinsville and it went well. We beat them in two games and I got ALL of my girls in--all 15 of them! That is a lot of players to play if you don't knwo anything about volleyball because only 6 can be on the court at any given time. Certainly not all equal, but fair! I was so proud! We are now 1-2 record on the season...and part of me is glad we didn't make it to Edmond North, because they are good (3rd in the state) and I have a feeling our record wouldn't look nearly that good had we played.
Anyway, that is my crazy volleyball story for now! I probably left out some details but that is good enough