Monday, October 13, 2008

Day 1...

Well, its 10:50 and I am tired from the emotional and long day. But I think (emphasis on the think) that both of my children are finally asleep. At least for the time being.

Creighton did SO much better than I expected today. I picked them up from school and Jeff came with me. (he was a really great husband and came home to spend some time comforting me). Anyway, we talked to both of them about getting rid of binky and stopping nursing. Then we told them that in exchange (trade) for that we could pick out prizes at Walmart.

So that is where we headed. Creighton got a princess thing with crown, shoes, top, skirt, and purse of Cinderella and a Belle phone. Jackson got (much to my dismay) two guns and two swords (his prizes were significantly less expensive than Creighton's and he was being so sweet as to think of Daddy while he was picking out his..."one for me and one for Daddy".

Anyway, as soon as we got home we had to head straight to the YMCA because I had a private volleyball lesson. Then I had class (step) and then I had my 90 Day Fitness Challenge meeting with my team. So we didn't get home till 7:45 and I hadn't even started dinner.

I made dinner and we all ate. I think they ate well and I certainly did...I was starving. Then, we took baths. We were getting ready for bed and I think I read more books tonight in procrastination than ever before just because I was dreading it so much.

I had to tell Creighton no to nursing a lot in Walmart, but then I was away from her all evening really (and 5 hours this morning at school). So I knew since we hadn't nursed ALL day it would be hard for her tonight. She cried a lot. But I stood my ground. I stood outside her door and welled up with tears as she was screaming, but within 6 minutes she was asleep (or at least quiet).

The true test with her will be in the middle of the night. She is also sleeping in her big girl bed and not the crib tonight too....oh man! She so far has been a champ.

Jackson, well that was another story. I figured his would be harder because he is so much attached to it AS he sleeps as opposed to before he sleeps (nursing). So we had lots and lots of getting out of bed and pleading with him to stay in bed. He is procrastinating going to sleep with books and flashlight scavenger hunts (I am sure to see if I missed any binkies...I must say he is one sharp kid and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I go in and check on him with a binky I missed somehow). I THINK he is asleep, he is at least in his room for now and hopefully in bed resting.

Before bed we rounded up all the binkies and put them on the counter. One by one he kissed them and waved bye bye to them and put them in the sack (to give to the new babies at the hospital). It was quite the cute little ceremonial goodbye. I wish it had been just that...but oh well. So far, not too bad.

My chest feels like it might explode and reminds me constantly that I am no longer a nursing mother. It makes me sad, but I also know it is good. It is hard, but right.

I think this is teaching me a lot and stretching me at the same time it is my kids! My poor husband has been a trooper so far. I know this is far from water under the bridge, but thank you all for your love, encouragement, support and most importantly prayers. I know you are praying I can feel it. I love that! God is so good to me to bless me with people like all of you! Thank you.

Here is to a restful (fingers crossed) good night's sleep for all! :)

3 comments:

Dalene said...

YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOMMY AND THEY ARE GOING TO BE FINE!!!

It's so hard to let go of one stage and move into another. I love how much you pour your life into your children!!!

You're a GREAT mommy.

Lu said...

Are you pumping at all? I don't know this for sure, but can't you risk of infection if you cut out cold turkey? Just curious.

I am hoping your night went well. You are doing a great job! The treats idea is a great one!

Casey said...

Hoping you had a good night & that your kiddos slept :) I know it's hard to say good-bye to their baby-hood. Clay just turned 7--that was hard for me. It's a reminder of how fleeting the time is. But, there are so many great things about him being 7...I can have AMAZING conversations with him, he is a HUGE help not only with his brothers, but around the house. It's all good! But that doesn't mean it's all easy.

Oh--and I went "cold turkey" when I quit nursing Clay, and while I did hurt for a couple of days, I was fine after that. And so was he :)

Hang in there...praying for you :)