Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Confessions of a PreK Mother

I wanted to blog last night when my emotions were much more raw, but I suppose it was a good thing that it wouldn't let me for some reason.  This is sure to be a whole lot of rambling...but I would like to remember that when my baby boy started Pre-K I was a complete wreck.

Last night I was so distraught and nervous I couldn't do ANY thing. Yet, I was doing everything not to sit still and think...or I might crumble.  I even got out the kids' coloring book and colored two pictures of Clifford the Big Red Dog.  What?!!? I think Jeff was nervous then :)

But really it's so scary letting your baby go for almost 7 hours a day.  I have NEVER EVER understood how a mom could home school until yesterday.  The thought of him leaving me for so long, everyday, I almost buckled.  And I still might, but I am determined to give it a shot first. 

He's so little to me and I want him to stay little forever, but, alas, I know I can't.  He is so excited.  This won't be nearly as hard for him as it will be for me.  I just remember when he wasn't sleeping through the nights at 10 months and I thought that would never end, and now he sleeps like an angel and is starting school.  Shouldn't there have been some type of a time gap between these two phases in life? :) I know you all told me, "This too shall pass" and it did...all too fast looking back.

I can honestly say I have felt just about every emotion under the sun these last few days.  Worry, fear, nerves galore swish through my head and stomach on a regular basis. I feel like I haven't prepared him for what the 'world' will really be like.  We've sheltered him in a lot of ways. He's still so innocent and pure. 

I run just about every scenario good and bad through my mind rapidly without much control...and thus I am not sleeping at all right now.  That's not good...

But tomorrow is the big day.  He's so excited. We met his teacher, Mrs. Ellis, today and she's very sweet and I have prayed my little heart out for her and for Jackson.  I know the Lord knew that I needed to hear that she is a believer.  That has eased a lot of my worry.  I love that He answered that prayer for me.  I think that is why my emotions are not nearly as raw as yesterday. 

There are a ton of neat new toys and books and all sorts of things under the sun in his room and the Pre-K area in the new wing of Ranch Heights. 

Jackson and Colton are not in the same class but their rooms are adjoined by a bathroom.  So hopefully they'll see each other enough.  They were pricelessly cute tonight when they saw each other at Open House.  Jackson hasn't seen Colton in about 2 weeks I think and so he ran to him and hugged him and I just LOVE their sweet friendship.  I know that they will each make new friends this year, but I know their little friendship will remain strong.  This is also another comforting thing for me.

I want so many things for Jackson. I can't believe he is going to school full time now, but I can't wait to see what the Lord will do in and through him along the way. 

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