Happy BERGday Charleigh

Tonight we celebrated with a "nice" spaghetti dinner (one of her faves) and we used our "fine china" for the first time in our new house!  I made brownies because I didn't have any cake mix and my parents came over to join us for a small little celebration of this sweet baby on this special day!~

 I feel like Charleigh has been a part of our family for a million years. 

 I don't know why, but that's just how I feel.  Obviously, she's not even 2 and so it's impossible, but I just can't imagine life without her and barely remember what it was like before her arrival.  We've had her in our arms since 14 hours after she arrived from the womb of a precious and brave young woman.  (We knew of her after 3 hours, and that we'd been chosen for her, but the hospital visiting hours were over by the time we received the call, the wait through the night was insanely crazy!)  We waited 3 long months before we had all the signatures needed to breathe easy and sleep soundly.  

Then, after 8+ months of having her, a year ago today we stood before a judge in Washington County and officially became Charleigh's legal parents. Forever.

 A day (7-7-10) that forever changed many lives.

(our first official picture as a legal family of 5)

I know that as we celebrate her life and her name, however, that it's not necessarily an easy day for her birth families.  I also know that each year as she understands more about God's plan for her life, this may not be easy for her either.  So, today my heart is unbelievably happy and proud on one hand and yet reminded of the sensitivity I need on the other.  Adoption is amazing, and open adoption is awesome, however, it doesn't just remove the emotions on special days for all parties.  I am so thankful for Charleigh's birth mom and her family (and her birth father as well).  I wouldn't have my precious crazy haired bundle without them.

I tread lightly and humbly on this journey as I celebrate and also mourn at the same time. It's not always fun and easy, but it's so worth it.  We are thrilled be considered worthy to be chosen to be her parents and a family of 5.  Charleigh your big brother and sister adore the heck out of you! (and so do we)!

Officially Official (Again!)

Charleigh's birth certificate came in recently which makes her even more officially a Berg! She has our name and that is just very fun to see.  Documented!

Today I went to the Social Security Admin. and it was crazy. There were no seats so many people were in there! One lady had an anxiety attack while in there and that was just bizarre. Thankfully it wasn't long after that they FINALLY called me back.

Her SSN should arrive in 7-10 days and then she'll be USA official and we can finally report her on our taxes :)  Yeah! Hooray!

We love you so much Charleigh Tatum Berg

Pictures from Gotcha Day

We were at the courthouse a little after 10:15, but our appointment wasn't until 10:30 so we were fine.  We actually got bumped back to second on the docket anyway.  So we had time to take before pictures. I love this one. :)

We were so blessed that the Judge allowed us to take video and pictures inside the courtroom. Normally this is prohibited in the courtroom. 

This was taken right after :)

These were the people were able to join us for our court appearance and they let them in the court room too! Thank you Mom, Caroline, Katie and Brittany for coming! It meant so much.

These next 2 pictures were taken before while we were waiting. First Creighton decided she was not happy about pictures...

Then when we got her to smile about 10 minutes later, Jackson refused.  Such is life!

Afterwards though we kinda sorta got a decent one :) I'll take it! Berg Family of 5!

There were many many people who helped make today possible through prayer, financial help, support emotionally, physically and spirtually, and our hearts are full of all the love poured out over our family over the last year.  Thank you thank you thank you. We love CPO and open adoption!!!

Today is the BIG day!!!

Well, today is finalization day for us. We go to court at 10:15 and I am a little nervous, only because I haven't ever been to court before and I have no idea what to expect.  But I guess this is the perfect reason to go!

Today is what in the adoption world will forever be considered her "Gotcha Day!" July 7, 2010. 

It is a bit strange though because I feel certainly like she's been mine from the beginning.  The moment I laid eyes on her, held her, nursed her, memorized her every feature--I loved her, and she was mine.  As these past 8+ months have gone whipping by, I have only loved her more with every moment.

I've thought a lot about what today must be like in terms of how Christ views us as we become a part of his family.  The excitement in heaven must be CRAZY :)  But really, I wonder if his heart could really be MORE full of joy than mine is today, and I know it is, but it's hard to imagine.  When all the days are ordained for us, and he already knows, is it still as exciting? I know it is.  Because since Christmas there hasn't been any more hiccups in our adoption story, and so we breathed easy, slept well, and loved her all the more.  I feel like I've had 257 "Gotcha Days" because that is how many I HAVE had with her.  And I look forward the thousands more I get to have with her.

Today Charleigh Tatum S***** becomes Charleigh Tatum Berg.  I think that's where I get a little choked up.  See, she was mine, but now she bears our name, too.  This is where I can tell that it must be all the more Crazy in heaven as we bear His name, the moment we are His.  I am glad we don't have to wait on the court system to become His though :)

I invited Ashley and her family to join us today because really, they are just as much a part of our family, and so much to do with this whole thing, that it just didn't feel right not having them there with us...but they are ALL out of town and cannot come.  I am sad, but knowing they wanted to be there and would have been otherwise, is good.  We love and adore them so much and are so blessed by their selflessness of choosing life and choosing us to be her second family.  Thank you Ash and the rest of the family. We love you endlessly.

I will post pictures and the rest of the story here later.  :)

whew...its been awhile

Well after not having a computer (and sometimes not internet either for my iTouch) I am finally back!!!

I got caught up on all my blogs I read. I feel like SO much has gone on this month and I have a million and ten things to blog about...Hopefully now that we have a computer up and running I will be able to get on here more.

Charleigh is still in our room, although we moved her out of the bassinet and set up the crib. She is getting bigger by the moment and not a second goes by without all of us falling more in love with her! She's just too good to be true.  She had her well-baby visit this month and surpassed 12 pounds...at a whopping 13.8 pounds and is 26 inches long! She has rolls everywhere and is long, but still tiny for her age. :)

We had our termination of parental rights hearing about a month ago and it was granted so that is good news as this is now in its finalization stages. I can't wait to stand before the judge in our county and hear him declare this little girl a Berg, forever (until she marries, of course).  It's been a wild and awesome ride.  We are nearing the end of the legal side and looking so much forward to the rest of our lives together as a family. 

I signed Jackson up for public Pre-K next year and almost cried. He is just amazing and I love cuddling him up. I am so thankful that the school he will be going to is only 2 streets south of our house and we walk there all the time to go the park, so it's familiar (enough) to him. Jeff is looking forward to walking him to school each morning...awesomeness! We are working a little more intentionally on his Awana Cubbies verses this semester as he finally has showed interest in it without being prodded.  He is doing really well, but really wants the Cub E. Bear like his sweet friend Emma Kate. We'll see if he can get there by the summer. 

Creighton is never ever not singing or talking.  She is quite the actress in the making.  She's more animated than Pixar I believe.  There is never a dull moment with that kid. I just love her to pieces, even though she's so much like me it causes many bumps in our days.  Oh well. We're making it.  She is the best big sister (most of the time) to Charleigh.  She just loves her so much she forgets how fragile she is.  It's pretty awesome to see her with Charleigh...both of their eyes light up!

Jeff was in a minor major to us car accident this past month.  That was crazy. Neither of us have even been in an accident as the driver (only passenger one time) and so it was like walking a plank blindfolded for quite some time.  They totalled the car, which in the end I think will be better.  We will hopefully get the check monday and be looking for a new car.  We are very thankful we have wonderful insurance.  We are most thankful that Jeff is okay. His leg was injured but nothing major...just bruising and soreness.  His neck, thank the Lord, is doing okay.  It was emotionally rather hard on him because the 3 people in the other car were whisked away in an ambulance.  It was very sad, but we are so happy they only sustained minor injuries and will be fine.  That made it much easier to swallow.

I am doing some private lessons again and am loving that. Other than that I pretty much am loving on Charleigh and trying to keep up with Jax and Rae.  Its a blast. I am exhausted most days, but I must say that the month sans computer I have gotten a little more sleep under my belt. I am pretty sure there is a high coorelation there.

Pics to come soon!

Open Adoption Movie on Lifetime

http://www.mylifetime.com/movies/mom-at-sixteen/video

I watched this movie about this girl named Jacey who had a baby named Charley (a boy). It was about how she eventually placed him for adoption with a sweet family who had infertility issues.  It was so cool because it highlighted open adoption. It was a great movie...very lifetime-ish, but good. 

Charleigh 10 weeks

Sweet Charleigh Tatum is 10 1/2 weeks old and we went for her well-baby visit today.  Doctor said she is perfect! She weighed 10 pounds 12 ounces and was 23 inches long.  She is coo-ing, grasping for things, following things with her eyes, social smiles all the time, raising her head up during tummy time, holding her head on her own for short amounts of time, and has me wrapped around her little finger! I love this kid more than I ever though it was possible.  She is the best baby in the whole world and my heart flutters every time I see her and even more every time she smiles at me.  It just doesn't get better than this!

Charleigh,

You've only been in our world for a short time, and yet, it seems like you've been here forever. You were destined to be with us, to be loved by us, and to love us in return.  We adore you. All of us, in our own way.  The way you light up when you see us, especially when you wake up in the morning, is priceless.  You are already sleeping through the night and that my dear precious girl, is a miracle for this momma in so many ways.  You love to snuggle up on my chest and you absolutely LOVE your Moby Wrap and you sleep like an angel baby in it a lot! I can't get enough of you. I miss you terribly when I am away from you for even short amounts of time.  This was the best Christmas ever, as we were informed you were ours forever just two days before we celebrate Jesus' birth.  It seemed as though God wanted to provide another miracle though the birth of a child this season. We couldn't be happier and any more blessed than to have you as a part of our family: our Christmas Miracle.  I think more than ever, I know a similar feeling to what might have been going through Mary's head when she stared at her sweet baby.  You are getting bigger and are more aware of the things around you every day.  You are still the most laid back and loving little thing there ever was.  I love you more than a thousand trips to the moon and back! You delight my heart....Love, Your Forever Mommy

New Extended Family

We met with Charleigh's birthfather on Saturday.  It was a really neat time with him and I think we all hit it off well. 

We are learning on this incredible journey all about Open Adoption together.  It's new.  It's scary.  But it's good. So good. We love family and have lots of it, by adding Charleigh to our family we've added even more! It's awesome.  I do believe this is the way that God would want this to be. 

Today

I wrote this yesterday...
Today was a hard day in our journey of adoption.  It was like getting hit by a freight train with no brakes after such a SWEET yesterday.  But, I will still praise the Lord. 

The birthfather needs and wants more information and wants to be a larger part of the process than we had orginally anticipated.  I am choosing to believe that in the end this will be a good thing. I want Charleigh to know who he is, and that is his heart's desire too.  We love open adoption and ALL that it holds...including hiccups...or whatever you want to call today. 

I do believe that the power of prayer was manifested in its full force today.  I could feel it. I could almost audibly hear the petitions on our behalf.  I know that nothing has changed in circumstance, but definitely in my heart. I have a peace that does transcend understanding.  I am claiming promises, claiming scripture, claiming truth.  God has a huge plan for this little girl, and one day, she will have an incredible story to tell. 

She has been loved by so many in the process and will continue to be, I know this.  No matter the outcome.  My friend Marci reminded me that He cares for her more than I (or anyone else) ever could. I will celebrate the life that she has been given, and I will celebrate each moment that she is with us.  We have from the beginning wanted what was VERY best for her, and I know that will prevail.

Thank you all for your prayers.  Please continue them as this is far from being finalized in any direction.

Dedication Sunday

This is my sweet family.  I love this picture even though it's not the 'best' of everyone.  It's certainly a LOT characteristic of each of us. 

Sunday was Orphan Sunday and also the day we chose to have the two precious girls dedicated to the Lord in front of the congregation...and our family.  It was a sweet experience.  It couldn't have been better, well--maybe if Charleigh weren't hungry right in the middle of it...but otherwise, it was fantastic!

Rod, our Pastor, prayed for each of them individually and our family.  They both did well, with only a few squwaks from Charleigh and me dropping her binky (twice).

I don't have any more pics of all 5 of us except for these few...I cherish them!

The neatest thing in the world happened after Rod prayed for the girls.  He presented us with a gift, a large gift! The Church had gotten together and have begun an Adoption Fund for future adoptions, and the first people to use it is our family.  We have been beyond blessed in this journey and this is the icing on the cake.  We will have little to no expense out of our pocket for our adoption now.  I mean really?! God is awesome.  Now there are so many people on this journey with us and that is how I like things...I enjoy people and Love...and we have an abundance! Thank you EVERYONE who is a part of this!

Answered prayer and a request

I just re-read this post. It's a little surreal that I have my sweet bundle in my arms. I love my first letter to her now that I have her sweet face memorized.  I didn't know all that the Lord would do.  I couldn't have wrapped my head around it if I had known...I am glad that I didn't know all the details. I am thankful that I allowed the Lord (haha...as if I "allowed" him anything) to take control of this.  Because seriously we have the perfect open adoption and its just begun.  We adore our birthmother and her family.  God handpicked us to be Charleigh's family...and for them to be part of her forever too.  It's so amazing that they are believers, as this process would be so hard I think dealing with someone who didn't know Hope, Grace, Agape, and who didn't know that He has a plan.  His details are amazing.  All of them.  Psalm 139 has never rang more true to my spirit. 

I do have a major prayer request! Please be on your knees for our sweet birthmother tomorrow as she and her family go before the judge to relinquish her parental rights.  This is going to be a difficult process to go through most likely for everyone in the room.  I want to be there to hold her hand, but I am so thankful that she has supportive family that will be on her either side.  Just pray for peace for a non-judgemental atmosphere, for the undeniable hand of God. 

And then right after that, we are told that they will attempt to make contact with the birthfather...oh please would you pray that he would not fight this...

Welcome Home Charleigh

So, we're home! We officially (totally still unofficially) have 3 kids.  Today was my first day at home, but I was blessed by Mother's Day out today for the older two.  Charleigh and I stayed at home and I attempted to organize/pick up my disasterous home. 

I cannot tell you just to the extent of how much we have been blessed!  It's beyond measure really.  I mean of course, just in Charleigh herself, but so many people have stepped up and cared for us in so many ways: material things for Charleigh, financially even, meals galore in line for our whole family, and just tons of prayer and love! I feel so connected to my Savior and feel like He is being so glorified by his people in this!!  The Church is being the Church...it's so good.  It's just amazing. 

If you have been a part, whether small or large, in helping us in any way, thank you! From the bottom of my heart, my praise goes to my King, my thanks goes to my King...and to you all who are being the hands and feet of Christ.

We are in love with our littlest baby girl.  She is a great baby, although we do need to work on her sleeping in the night, instead of ALL day long ;)  We'll get there.  She's just precious.  Such a joy.

She most definitely has a purpose in this world and I cannot wait to find out just what the Lord has in store for us with her, for His Kingdom with her....I just can't even put parameters on it.

She has a story...a long one and I will share it in bits and pieces.  I am one exhausted mommy tonight though and MUST go to bed while she is sleeping....

The kids ADORE her.

But this shirt that my sweet friend Kara got her says it all:

Oh precious girl, we are...so thankful for you!

Waiting...

Our women's ministry is currently in the middle of Esther by Beth Moore.  I can't tell you how much I love this study.  As the weeks progress, it has only gotten better.  This week tops it all.  If I have ever needed a word from the Lord, then it was now, and it was this!  Get your pen!!

Habakkuk 2:3c
Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

Oh, how my heart needed to hear that promise, first and foremost.

But the TRUTH behind what her whole talk today was this: We will lose our strength when we wait on _________ (fill in the blank for yourself), but we will renew our strength when we wait on the Lord.

For me, for us, our blank is our baby.  To say we are waiting would be an understatement.  Although we have not waited long compared to many people, not to mention we already have two blessings with us, we truly felt that this was a God thing and that because we were so willing to step out in faith, that there would be no waiting.  But there is.

And you know what? It's good.  I'm okay with waiting, I am.  I'm just not good at it.  Patience does not come naturally to me, but I must say I am working on it--with the Lord's grace.  We only want what is best for our family and for this child.  Truly.  So, why was I so anxious and trying so hard to DO when I should just relax and stop and wait on the Lord, not on my child.  Wait on the Lord renews my strength. I am excited for that burden to be completely lifted from me.  Because I have been zapped waiting (thinking I could actually do something) about getting a baby here sooner.

Today's lesson was all about time.  When time is so different on God's left arm than mine, why would I choose to want to be zapped of my strength.  I know there is another (maybe more) Berg out there, and somewhere written in the pages of his/her life we get to meet.  Not only will our paths cross, but they will unite, forever.  We'll be completed all the more as a family, and I CAN wait for God's best.  I am so thankful that I serve such a loving, compassionate, all-knowing God. 

So, I am not anxious about the wait for our child.  I am still thrilled to be on the journey, but it's better now.  God has ever so graciously been giving us (me) his sweet gestures to not lose hope in the journey all along, just as I needed them.  I am so thankful for this one. 

So, as we wait on the Lord for our precious new addition, we wait with open arms, open hearts, and renewed strength.  Thank you Lord.

And there is a song that I just love out called While I'm Waiting by Josh Waller...listen if you'd like!

Orphan Sunday

Orphan Sunday from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Zoo, Gymnastics, Life Book

Yesterday we went to the Zoo with our kids.  They have wanted to go for a long long time and this is really the first time it was possible that it wasn't raining.  And really, we ALL needed to get out of town and focus on other things!  It was great. 

So even though we were in Tulsa already, and I had a meeting in Tulsa in just a few short hours, we drove all the way back to Bartlesville because 1) the kids had gymnastics and 2) our LIFE BOOK was suppose to be on our front porch and I was very excited about the latter!

We got them to gymnastics only being 2 minutes late.  I had to wake them up from being asleep (as was I) and rush them out of the car.  All that and they WOULD.NOT.STAY. for anything, and I mean anything.  It was slightly embarassing, mostly just VERY frustrating!  But I dragged them both back out to the car barefoot by this point.  Only to have them start screaming, OF COURSE, as we are pulling out that they wanted to stay.  I was beyond frustrated, but felt that (and it helped that I was now going to be late to my meeting in Tulsa even if we headed straight home) this would be a great learning opportunity for them to realize that their choices have meaning and effects.  So we left, they cried.  But I am hoping that they never pull that again.

We got home and our Life Book WAS on the porch, yea God!  It was my prayer all week.  And I might add that it wasn't promised till sometime between Friday (today) and Tuesday of next week.  So, the fact that it was there, was truly a God answered prayer! :)  I love love love our Life Book.  Cheryl from CPO said she thought we had done a great job with it and her assistant told us we profiled very well! :)

So I sped (yes, illegally) all the way to Tulsa.  I was 'graced' with a very nice set of pace cars all the way there.  I got there exactly at 7pm.  Woo hoo! 

The meeting is for all adoptive families and it is a requirement that you and your husband attend at minimum four in order for your adoption finalization to begin.  So, even though Jeff wasn't with me, I was ecstatic to be there.  And personally hand deliver my Life Book! 

The other families that were there each were different, and each of us were in different places in the journey of adoption.  We were right in the middle.  That was a good place for me to be.  I felt I learned a lot.  I have questions.  I had questions that were answered...honestly.  Sometimes that was scary to hear.  But at the very same time, it was good.  I felt love in the room like I haven't experienced in that way before.  I felt a connection to people I had NEVER even met.  I loved it. I am excited to go to the next one.  I was invited to come as a volunteer to the Birthmom meetings which happen each Tuesday.  I do believe I will be trying very hard to get to one of those soon.

Cheryl said our Life Book would begin to be shown immediately and that there are currently 22 on hand.  Who knows how many girls will come through the agency, or drop in to the hospitals in the next few weeks and months, but if you'd join with me in praying for all of them, and specifically for the one that will be a part of our lives forever, I'd much appreciate that!

God is good.