No-Man

Well Rae Rae left the scene early, but she was outside having TONS of fun until her gloves got too wet, came off and...well that was really bad. She was in hysterics. Then she found my old (non-Rx) glasses and started having fun inside. But...here is what we were doing outside...

Working Hard...and Having Fun.
Jeff rolled the bottom ball and I rolled the middle ball and then Jackson and Jeff did the head.
Jackson was VERY proud of his first 'HOODG NO-Man'

Then we decided it would be fun to decorate. They put the scarf and eyes and smile and arms and a watergun and I put a tiara on it. Jackson decided that would NOT do.

But that he needed HAIR instead on his head. So off the tiara came, lots of twigs and grass and in went some buttons on his belly. Oh yes, and he needed ears. (I think they look like ear muffs...or Mickey...)

Here is our final product! :)

Look how WET he was! It was crazy. He (we) were all soaking wet. It was the best snow ever for packing, playing, and having fun. But it was really wet snow and cold! He was glad to come inside.

This is what happened today as the 'hoodg noman' started to melt. He wanted desperately to put his eyes that had fallen to the ground back in his head. And his mouth. And his ears. And couldn't understand what was happening. But they worked on it together and were very cute. Until they got VERY muddy.

But really...when it makes a kid this cute...look even cuter...AND Happy....how can a mom say no!

What a Voice!

One thing I will share is that I don't watch American Idol. There are lots of reasons, but the main on being we don't have normal TV channels because we only have antennae and it doesn't pick up much. Anyway, all that to say...I had NO CLUE who Mandisa was.

But I do now.

She is awesome. What a voice. What a woman of God. What a testimony. What a God she serves...out loud!

Mandisa has a new CD coming out this week, which I now own (already). Her songs are powerful, not just because she has a voice of an angel, but because the lyrics are awesome...and well, powerful!

Here is a song called He Is With You and it was just too great for any words but the lyrics...

There's a time a time to live
And a time to die
There's a time to laugh
And a time to cry
There's a time for war
And a time for peace
There's a hand to hold
In the worst of these

He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can't even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn't kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby's gone
And your house is still
And your heart is a stone
Cryin' God, what'd You do that for
He is with you

There's a time for yes
And a time for no
There's a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There is a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don't know you anymore
He is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don't' know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light

He is with you when your kids are grown
When there's too much space
And you feel alone
And you're worried if you
Got it right or wrong
Yes He is with you
When you've given up on ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left
And you take your final breath
He is with you

written by Ronnie Freeman and Cindy Morgan

You have to hear her sing this song...and Victorious...

Confirmation

Confirmation. I love confirmation. The Lord confirmed within me several things this weekend at the EWomen Conference. I went with my mom. It was good. God is good. I might share more in detail later on this week, and I might not. We'll see. But I am hoping the changes and nudges and confirmation will begin to take deep root within me, and that I will look different on the outside (but specifically on the inside).

Thanks Mom.

Just call me Sleepy Jean...

...I need to just cheer up.

Maybe one day I'll write about the events of this evening.

Stacie's Funeral

Stacie Gudenkauf's funeral is today, Tuesday the 17th, at 2pm at Tuxedo Assembly of God. Bartlesville, OK

Multi-tasking!

Yesterday Jeff and I were on our way back in to town, serious conversation underway, when we saw a lady who needed help with her truck. So we pulled around the block and asked what was wrong. Then we decided we could push it to the gas station. I bet it is only 2-4 hundred yards, however, being that it was uphill and the truck HAD to have weighed 12 tons, it felt like, at minimum, a mile.

However, Jeff asked me what my favorite part of the day was yesterday, and this was the brief moment in that span of 24 hours that I truly believed I loved the most. I was with my husband, we continued our very serious conversation, while getting a HECK of a workout, and helping someone out all at the same time. I think my knack for multi-tasking hit new heights! It was fun though, very very hard, but very good. I think it probably took us about 20 minutes or so, but I don't think I'll ever forget it.

Remembering Stacie.

Stacie passed away tonight at 7ish. It's been a long time coming. She's been sick for almost a year. She was in and out of consciousness the past week and on heavy morphine to keep her pain levels down. Now the family needs us more than ever...the job is now really just beginning.

I am sad but I don't think I have really wrapped my thoughts and emotions around it all yet. And then also, I hated it that she was just here suffering.

Cancer is not cool. It downright SUCKS. I hate cancer.

Zoe and Neala should not have to be without a mommy to care for them, nor Luke without a wife to love him. It just isn't 'right' no matter how you slice it.

I loved on my kids tonight. I told them how much I loved them and how special they were to me. I told them it was such an honor to be their mommy and that they mean the world to me. I hugged them, held them, kissed them, sang them to sleep. I couldn't imagine leaving them.

Stacie was a fighter. She held on long past when the doctors said she would be able to. She was a believer. Zoe went to school today knowing at some point, most likely today, she'd lose her mommy. She was at peace with her mommy going to heaven. She is a brave girl. She is a strong girl. Stacie left a legacy. She was a good mommy.

Thank you Stacie for fighting the good fight. Thank you for leaving a legacy for your girls. Thank you for uniting our community. For making us remember. For making us grateful in our circumstances. For your story.

Ps. they've asked that if you are inclined to help in any way that you make checks payable to Bank of Oklahoma (memo: Stacie Gudenkauf) in order to help Luke pay bills upon bills that have, are, and will keep coming.

A little Survey from the Kids...

Several people have posted similar things here recently. This is the second time I have done this but the first time I was in the car and didn't write down any of their answers. It's funny how some of them are the same and some are so different!

I'll post the question and then their answers...Enjoy!

1. How old are you?
Jackson: 4. (I asked "right now?") and he responded "how 4 I am!, I am three!" (he is 3 1/2)
Creighton: Six Seven. (she is 2 1/3)

2. How old is Mommy? (I am 28)
Jackson: 2. You are 2
Creighton: 3

3. What is your favorite color?
Jackson: blue. actually red. actually purple
Creighton: yellow. actually pink

4. What is your favorite snack?
Jackson: Daddy's (I asked what was Daddy's) I don't know
Creighton: Fruities (fruit snacks)

5. What is your favorite meal?
Jackson: Chicken Pot Pie (last time he said Crocodile Chicken--our name for chicken fingers)
Creighton: Chicken Pot Pie

6. What is your favorite drink?
Jackson: Apple Juice
Creighton: Ice Cream. (no, a drink) Oh, A moovie (a smoothie) :)

7. Who is your favorite teacher?
Jackson: Miss Nadine (his teacher is Miss Peggy and he loves her)
Creighton: Miss Peggy (her teacher is Miss Nadine and she loves her too)

**A classic example of wanting what the other has**

8. What is your favorite book?
Jackson: Thomas the Train
Creighton: princess

9. What is your favorite song?
Jackson: Pirates
Creighton: Ariel

10. How old is Daddy?
Jackson: uhh. three
Creighton: one

11. How tall is Daddy?
Jackson: [both arms up] BIG!
Creighton: [one arm up] Big!

12. How tall are you?
Jackson: bigger. I look like my daddy
Creighton: [2 arms up] BIG! umm. no. i little

13.What is your full name?
Jackson: J-K-C-K-S-O-N (again) John Berg
Creighton: Jackson

14. What is your favorite dessert?
Jackson: Chocolate Milk
Creighton: Ice Cream (good thing she is lactose intolerant)

15. Who is your favorite Super Hero?
Jackson: Batman [with a huge smile]
Creighton: I don't have superheroes

16. Who is your favorite Princess?
Jackson: I don't like a princess
Creighton: Belle. She is my hero

17. What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy?
Jackson: go on a mission (what kind of mission) Superhero
Creighton: hold you

18. What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy?
Jackson: play High School Musical 3 (video on the computer at Jib Jab that has their faces as the characters)
Creighton: Hold me

19. What is your favorite animal?
Jackson: Lion
Creighton: Tiger

20. What do you want for you birthday?
Jackson: Race Track
Creighton: Belle

21. What is your favorite thing to wear?
Jackson: my tuss (tux)
Creighton: my belle dress

22. What does mommy always tell you?
Jackson: Don't do breakable things
Creighton: No, No!

23. What does Daddy always tell you?
Jackson: Black things (??? I have no idea)
Creighton: No!

This was fun...and insightful...and very humorous. I did them one at a time and they seemed to love it. I might have to do it every so often and come up with different questions and such. I love this! :)

Whew... And a mixer

We are back home from Enid. We desperately needed to get out of town and relax and that is JUST what we did. My MIL did an exceptional job of keeping kids entertained and happy so Jeff and I could just "be" and not "do" for a weekend. It was so great.

I think we kinda reversed roles for the weekend and we got to be like the "grandparents" (kiss 'em, hug 'em, leave 'em) and they got to be the "parents" (everything including discipline and naps and baths and meals and bedtime)...

I am glad to be back home in my own bed and back to being Mommy. Jeff has a crazy busy week this week and the first half of next week, but hopefully this weekend energized me enough to make it through well.

I have at least a million things to do today before I have to pick up the kids, so I am needing to get off the computer, but before I go...

Please go check out my friend Jen at http://amazingtrips.blogspot.com/2009/03/favorite-thing-friday.html and donate $5 towards Cancer Research and you have the chance to win a KitchenAid mixer...$350 value. They are running a marathon soon and are raising money for it and she is donating the mixer out of her pocket, in hopes to raise even more money! Great cause, great people. Go do it! It's easy.

Hoo-Ra

I wish I could blog today and say I am chipper and all is well. Neither are true.

I am sick with a cold that is kicking my butt.

My kids are at least trading turns (most of the time) on who will be headstrong and defiant, but defiant and headstrong they press on.

I am tired as sleep is not coming.

Still claiming His promises, but still within a mighty battle. Now physcially as well as emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Can I get a hoo-ra?

Waging War Pt. 1

My soul is at battle within itself today, well probably always, but today I feel it like the weight of the world.

I want to take pity on myself and just stay in the funk that has overtaken me.

I want to be selfish.

I want to be poor-me!

I wanted to blog about how my kids are horrible and I feel like the worst mother in the world.

I want to think my life is tough and my days are rough right now.

But the Truth is that my life is very blessed, abundantly blessed.

I know lots of biblical truths, and yet, what I want to focus on is all the bad--the things that aren't even true. But right now I feel overtaken by them. I feel like Satan has me in a choke hold. It's funny because of this battle I feel really weird. Like next to what it must feel like to be bipolar or something. I have this nagging negative feeling and then I feel the Holy Spirit convicting me the very next second.

I haven't yet decided who I will listen to today. I know who I should listen to. But I just don't know that I can yet. Why is that?

The scripture that keeps popping into my head is from Romans 7:15-25

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! "

I love Paul's writings. I seem to really connect with his personality in a lot of ways, oh but that I would connect all the more!

Anyway, I KNOW what he is talking about...the war waging with him is the same in me...right now. I love that he can so be where he is and give thanks to God and praise him. I want that. I really do.

I love that scripture is so great at grounding me. Like Ephesians 6 says, so I can stand. I hadn't gotten in the word today, and I already feel better.

Priceless...

Last night when I was singing to Jackson at bedtime, he told me he wanted to do his bible study with me, as I did mine in the morning...just us. It melted my heart.

This morning...

Creighton is laying next to me in bed, asleep. I am wishing to be still asleep, but not. I hear him walk into the room, and up next to me. I open my eyes to hear,

[in whisper] "Mommy, lets go do our bible study to-geder"

Oh...man. I haven't woken up in a better mood in a long time. And we did just that.

Happy Momma.

Great Expectations?!

Last night Jeff and I went on our date and it was great. There is this little place (new) in town called Frank and Lola's. It is such good food. We have been 3 times now and every time we love it. Jeff says its in the top 3 places ever for his steaks he loves. That is saying something. The prices are decent, but on the expensive end for our little town. The wait can be long though. Last night we got there and they said 20 minutes and 55 minutes later we were seated. I get kinda grouchy when that happens...am I spoiled or what? The funny thing is with me is that if they would have just SAID a hour, I would have been delighted to have only waited 55 minutes. It's all about expectations. I do the same thing to Jeff. When he says he'll be home at one time and then doesn't get home till minutes or hours later, I get really frustrated, but just like with the table/waiting, if I had been told the time originally I wouldn't have been upset at all. Am I weird or is everyone like that?

We had a great date. Great food. Great conversation. Great company.

Afterwards we came home and he told me the movie I had been waiting for came in the mail. I was so excited, so we watched it, well, rather I watched it. The Secret Life of Bees, which I read earlier this month. I have been waiting for the movie ever since. The movie, which I have been told NEVER hold up the credibility of the book, did just that. It was a good movie, but the book was great. However, I did like the way they ended the movie better than the book...so it was a good balance for me :) ever the fantasy, all-is-well-that-ends-well kinda person.

I guess it's another good thing about being a believer...

Sentimental Time.

This week hasn't been as busy as the previous two, but still I feel just swamped with things. Here we are ending February and I feel as if I should re-evaluate and grade myself again on my goals for the year. Are years long to anyone else, or is it just me!? :)

Anyway, life is good here. I got some sweet time with Jeff today, just the two of us for several hours and that was so good for my soul and our relationship. We also have a date night planned tomorrow night for a few hours with the kids at Parents Night Out. (PS, if you live in bartlesville its open to everyone, and there is no where I'd rather leave my kids, with exception of my own family).

Stacie is home and not really doing very well, but still is with us. There are lots of people volunteering to do great things for her both monetarily and most importantly with their time and hearts. It's really uplifting to see the good in people, in our community, coming together and wrapping this family in love...all kinds of love. And I love it. I don't know how much longer God has her here, and goodness knows she is ready to go Home, but her life, both in struggle and worldly "defeat" have NOT been in vain. Within her, there is a fighter, even when she doesn't want to be. I can't imagine the things she thinks of and wonders and fears... She is strong.

Jeff is seeing Braveheart on the big screen tonight and so fired up about it! I am happy for him because he loves it so much. On our wedding day, one of the ministers, Will Cunningham, called him Braveheart... :) He wore his kilt even... WOW. I love this man for everything...but especially for all the things he is I will never be. This is one of them.

I feel very blessed, even though I also feel stressed at times. God is good and He is doing mighty works here. Right now. I love it.

My kids...I love them. I love them I love them. They drive me bonkers at times, but man...they are just good and I am so proud and honored to be their mommy.

Tonight in the tub, Jackson let me know that he knows almost all the major colors in Spanish. I knew they worked on them, but this kid is quite smart. He is paying attention, even when it doesn't look like it. He catches everything. And I love this boy more than the world itself. Even when he changes costumes 154 times in 5 minutes. He loves them all so much he can't decide which one he wants to be more. I laugh. A lot. At him and with him. He's good for my health.

My little Miss Princess is everything I am and everything I am not...all at the same time. She prances and very dramatically dances and spins around this house in dresses, necklaces, purses, tiaras, and heels one minute and the next is "bumper" naked and sitting reading on the couch. She is like two people in one body and no one EVER knows who will come out/go in and at what time or place. She is a wild card. Whew. She's crazy...awesome. And I love her.

Sentimental time is over...now.

Weekend Madness

This weekend:

1) Stacie made it home and actually is doing better than expected (last I heard). Praise the Lord!

2) I held two newborns this weekend. Well, I held my friend's 8 pound 2 ounce, 24 hour old, Koby, and then I held my other friend's, Tammy, little TINY 5 pound, 10 week old. Ethan! He was literally like half the size of Koby! It was unbelievable. It almost made me want another one holding the two of them in the same day...but I don't. I decided it was really great to snuggle them and kiss them and then walk out the door :)

3) I had some sweet by myself (to myself) time early Saturday through around 3 on Saturday. Then I had a fantastic time with 5 of my girlfriends as we bombarded my parents house (that they very sweetly evacuated for the weekend). We ate, laughed, giggled, cried, played wii, played games, talked, and talked and talked and talked some more. I stayed up till at least 3 and some of them longer. It was so good. I LOVE fellowship, I love friends.

4) I am now oh so very tired though. Good night

Pray for Stacie

She is coming home this afternoon. She should arrive at the Bartlesville Airport. The doctors have warned Luke that she might not make the flight home. So, we can all pray for that to happen. Stacie is not making a lot of sense when she talks, but they were able to remove lots of toxic fluid from her body, so hopefully she'll be able to rest comfortably in her home soon.

Then, there are many things that are needed financially for the family. One simply being groceries. If you would want to donate any amount of money towards this family, please contact me and I will get you set up with the right people. Or there is a need for meals, if you would be willing to make a meal for them (specifically this weekend).

Sparkling White!

Tonight I was given the awesome opportunity to speak at a new ministry called Loving Roots. It is designed to love and support, come alongside, provide care for, and educate young soon-to-be-mothers, most unwed. It is awesome.

They asked me to speak on Purity. That is a tough task for sure. She specifically wanted it to be on Sexual Purity...and even tougher task. I was so nervous. I was scared. I was slightly unprepared (only really my fault). However, God was calming. He filled the room with His word and hopefully their hearts. Tonight I was just a vessel. And that was such a good place to be.

I had this idea (because I am visual) to have some sort of physical picture of what it would be like to start out pure, have sin all over, and then become pure again. Since this is where we all are in life...in need of constant redemption, forgiveness and grace.

My first idea and trial run failed miserably. I tried water, food coloring, and bleach. Then, Jeff and I went to Walmart to figure out how we could make it better. And we did! (or rather, I'll let God have the credit).

We got a white t-shirt. A red marker. And some Oxy-clean. (that stuff is awesome)

During the talk I spoke of God's original plan of purity and how we were made in his image and I brought out the shirt. I told them that our ultimate goal is to stand before Christ in his coming confident and unashamed (pure). The hard part was in the middle...the life part.

Insert: sin, fall of man, us (and the red pen)

I asked them to list off things that the world throws at us that cause us to be impure. They did a really great job of this. Our shirt was filled with red words all over it...from top to bottom.

Insert: God, forgiveness (and the oxyclean)

We went on to talk of how we can set boundaries for ourselves in all areas of life (not just sexual) from things we hear, see, touch, consume, etc.

Then I took the shirt from the water and wrung it out. SPARKLING WHITE.

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

I got more out of preparing for the talk than I had planned. God had a message for me in it all. I wanted to share because I was so grateful, and because well...God is just good. And I wanted to share that.

Coming Home!

It's truly the hand of God in the miracle of Stacie being flown home tomorrow. She has recovered from surgery and is in a trasportable state/stable enough to come home. Praise be to the Lord! Her days are still numbered, but at least she will be home and be able to be loved on and cared for there with her girls!

Thanks for praying!

Update on Urgent

Update on Stacie

An aunt took a loan out in order to pay for Stacie's eldest daughter (8) and the grandmother to fly out to Orlando for 36 hours to visit/say goodbye. They left Neala (1) at home with other friends and family. They are transporting Stacie today to another hospital in Orlando to have another 5 hour operation done on her kidneys to try and get all of the toxic fluids out of her system. Luke is spending time with Zoe today, so that is a blessing for her, and probably a much needed break from the hospital for both of them.

Our prayers need to be for her to survive the surgery and that they are successful in removing all of the toxins from her body. Hopefully if they are able to get her to a stabilized place, then we have made contact with an amazing organization called Angel Flights to hopefully get her home to be with her girls until the Lord takes her home to be with Him. This has been so aggressive! It's just so sad. She is only 28 years old! I just can't fathom all of it. The worry, the pain, the amazing financial stress!

Just please pray. And thank you for those of you who responded to the previous post...

URGENT Prayer Request/Need

There is a family (Gudenkauf's) in our town who are in desperate need of everyone hitting their knees for them! Please pray for Stacie, Luke and their two young daughters in this time of craziness for all of them.

Stacie was diagnosed with a terminal and very fast form of cancer and was given a few months to live. Someone was very sweet and sent them to Disney (all 4 of them) for a last family vacation (maybe a first, too). While they were there, Stacie became VERY ill and was hospitalized. During this time they took her colon and she is in a toxic state and critical. It is only a matter of time. But while Luke and Stacie are in the hospital in Florida, their girls were sent back to Bartlesville to be with a grandmother. Her days are numbered and she is sick with worry she will not be able to say goodbye to her babies!

Their medical insurance will not pay for them to be air flighted home. They need someone to provide this service to them with a private plane. They cannot afford what bills have already accrued for them in the past year. They must have a medical staff person aboard the flight as well as Stacie and Luke... and they need this soon.

If you know of ANYone who might be able to help them out either financially or with a plane, please contact me at bergcourtney [at] yahoo [dot] com

Thank you for praying, it is the very least we can do. They need a miracle.