I knew that because of my willingness and pursuit of God and to be changed that the devil would try all of his best moves to get me, to get to me, to knock me down....well I must say, at most of the "tests" today I probably failed, but as he certainly aided in knocking me down, he didn't knock me out and I am still here, still ready, still runnnnnnning to the cross. I must say that I am a little nervous because I dont really want to fight Satan in the process, but I also know that if Satan isn't involved in trying to defeat me, then I must not be running hard enough to the cross. I know that he doesn't like it for one second that I have come out of the chains he led me to believe I was in. I am free. I will not be binded by who I was, the old me, the habits of my sinful nature. But like I said, in my mini quizzes today, some of the time I faired well and the others I failed miserably. I do know that my God is bigger than Satan and that He (God) is looking out for me and helping me and guiding me through this because of my dust-yourself-off-get-back-up-and-do-better-next-time attitude and approach today. I will be the first person to know and tell you when I screw up, but it is unlike me to not let that get to me. I kinda like this newness!
One of my failures was that I got a speeding ticket today. I am horrible at obeying that ONE law. It seems like on everythign else I am OVERboard strict on, but Satan has definitely led me to believe that "a little over" won't hurt anything, to which that has grown to my incredibly heavy lead foot! I was caught red handed (not paying attention) and going 41 in a 20 mph school zone. (to my defense, it was 40 when it isn't a school time (and i was 12 minutes shy of being out of that time frame)). But I was very upset by this and thought some things I shouldn't have and when I made it to the gym (20 minutes late) I said a word that could have ruined my witness completely with one of my players the Lord has placed on my heart to really reach out to...I hate that THE MOST of today...well...
actually I was pretty ugly to my husband today and I actually hate that all the more!
Being vulnerable isn't easy for me, but I have seen over the course of the last month that honesty and humility is just what THE Doctor ordered for me....so there you go!
Here is to hoping that whatever Satan throws my way tomorrow, I can handle with a Galatians 5:22 heart/attitude/character.
3 comments:
Hang in there! It can be tough, but you already know that God is much bigger than all of the other stuff and Satan - you will overcome with His help!
I'm so thrilled for you. But I know that BROKEN is a hard place to be. But I also know that God is oh so sweet to a broken, repentant, open heart. I KNOW that! And I'm so grateful for it in my own life. He's been showing me in Scripture lately (actually it's been a recurring theme in my life over the last several years - because I'm a SLOW LEARNER) just how tender He is towards us while we're in the midst of brokenness. And I will pray that you see Him in that way every day, even in the littlest ways.
By the way, who's the study written by? Are you doing it with a group? Since Mom and I have started doing that Bible study coordinating stuff, I've been really interested in hearing about new studies. I'd love to have your input on it, so keep me posted on how it goes!
Well, I am here with you...just as we start and I commit wholeheartedly to Seeking God once again, Satan throws a wrench in to my whole week!! I spent a lot of time yesterday praying for God to lead me away from the bad attitude I have had all week and to renew and refresh me for another trying day today....and, of course, He did!! Though today is still going to be a hard one, my outlook and attitude are much better, and I have actually laughed a couple of times! See ya tonight!
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