6 nights of sleepless baby. Last night, she slept! Praise God! Actually I am the only one up in the house and that is nice too. I got my quiet time done (and it was good) and I made breakfast. I woke up at 6 something and couldn't go back to sleep, but I was thankful for the sleep I got I could barely contain myself! :)
Yesterday my sweet friends Katie and Caroline took the kids for me for a few hours so I could have some alone time. That was amazing. thank you both so much! And apparently they wore them out...if they aren't careful I might have to hire them all the time! :)
After all of that Jeff watched the kids a little longer so I could take one of my small group girls out. My heart is burdened for my entire group. The conversation went okay but there is just a disconnect between what is truth and what is not. It makes me sad in so many ways. I think I got a VERY SMALL glimpse into how Christ might feel when we sin and just don't get it, when we know truth but don't apply it, and just how hard that must be to watch for him.
I learned a valuable lesson (again) : they aren't failing me, but Him (and themselves). They aren't denying me, but Him. It hurts Him way more than it hurts me. It isn't about me at all...that was the kicker! When you pour out your heart and work so hard to try to lead teens and then you realize that the ENTIRE past year has been a flop (in my opinion) it just stings and stinks! I don't really know what I think about it all, but I know that I am burdened for them. I just feel kinda silly and awful. I just hate thinking I knew 5 girls so well, without knowing them really at all. I missed the boat people, big time. When you go to bat for someone...it just stinks, that's all...I'd do it again because I love them though.
Anyway, I am actually excited to go to first service...haven't been in SO long. Then I might actually get to go to class! :) Thank you Katie and Caroline and Jeff for watching the kids...