So sick

I have been so sick since about midnight last night. It is awful. I guess a virus is going around and I have heard from one person 12 hours, my mom 24-48 hours, and the doctor 3-5 days...My 12 hour mark is way over with as I am nearing the 24 hour mark this evening. I am the worst "patient" ever especially when everyone is saying how contagious it is, therefore, Jeff and the kids can't be around me (haven't been) all day and again tomorrow if I am not better. I hate throwing up just about as much as anything I can think of. Sorry about the following statements ahead of time--feel free to skip the italized and then keep reading...

Everytime I throw up every hole that the good Lord gave me excretes something (except my ears I think...although I could have sworn last night I though my brain might begin sqeezing out them). Thankfully I had pads on because I was expelling milk like crazy, I went through several pairs of socks, pants and underwear, I cry uncontrollably and my nose runs...I will leave to the imagination all the other holes I left out...
Okay I am back to non-disgusting talk...when you are a mom those things no longer bother you as daily I am amess with spitup, pee, tears, poop, slobber and snot...opps sorry.

Anyway, Jeff has been home all day with the kids and I swear he is wonderful, however, Creighton and Jackson too for that matter haven't cried that much in a 15 hour time frame in a very long time. We just do things so differently. It broke my heart to hear them crying all day and not being able to a thing about it. I didn't want to step on his toes and give him a play-by-play but I am CERTAIN that it was nothing like normal when Mommy is home doing the kid watching. He cleaned all day on and off which is nice, but I think I know now why I don't get those things done--both kids he just let scream till he was finished doing whatever it was he was doing. I can't handle that and a clean house is NEVER worth that to me. I am sure that Creighton has had about half the amount of milk she normally has in one day, which is probably fine because she doesn't need to eat every time I feed her and I know that...I know (or atleast have read and agree) that difference between the way moms and dads do things is normal in every family and very good for the kids so that they know that things can be done a different way...but let me be the first to say, it is fine maybe when mom isn't home to hear and occasionally see what is different...that was so hard. THankfully for that situation I wasn't feeling like being up much at all and so I just laid in bed in pain and discomfort--alone. I hate being alone when I am sick...that is awful. I haven't been "touched" or loved or kissed or comforted really all day...I know that sounds selfish, but goodness when someone is taking care of you it atleast makes it more manageable. I know I sound ridiculous, but holy cow, I am entitled to it because I still feel bad :)
Jeff is trying ot be super dad/husband right now as he isn't wanting any help although THREE times today I set things up for the kids to be taken care of so he could get work done, relax, sleep whatever...I even got his mom to agree to come get them for the whole weeekend, but he is refusing and it is making me very sad/mad at him. I don't get it, but yet I want to honor him and his wishes at the same time...but I am their mother and I feel (although this probably isnt' true) that I know better than he does. As in, he has church league basketball tonight in which he is coaching the team (2 games) and he drug the kdis out in the freezing cold WITH him to do what while he's coaching I don't know....and I had it taken care of for them to be watched during both games. UGH!
Anyway, I love JEff and he is doing the best he knows, but he is being so stubborn I could just hit him. It seems just recently he gave a talk talking about when you are in need of help to enlist the help of others and to not deny their help because that is denying their blessing....it seems we might need to get the notes out for the preacher!

Well, I am about finished pumping which is another story all in itself in that this morning after puking all night I pumped and it was CLEAR...hello, its suppose to be white....that was scary...I think it is because I have nothing left in my system to help produce milk, which is my next point, in that since then I haven't been full all day and that isn't good...I barely pump anything and I have only had the energy to sit for an extended period of time a few times today to do so...I hope I don't dry up...but right now I can 'teven keep water down. The doctors say it is highly highly contagious too so obviously I don't want anyone to get it, but I am afraid that I am going to have to help because Jeff has a really busy work day Sunday-Thursday this week, not to mention, that thursday is the father daughter banquet that I AM IN CHARGE OF and I cant' barely leave the bed or the toliet right now. OH my goodness, I am stressing out.

WEll, so sorry for the long long rambling and complaints and whatnot...but I am thankful that I haven't puked in the last few hours, just other things, but that is so much better than puking I will take it. I am thankful for jeff and also the other that all helped or atleast volunteered to help us today. I will be very thankful when this is all over and prayerfully the kids and Jeff won't get it.

**UPDATED: Well I found out after I published last post that Jeff did end up taking the kids to the friends during the first game and that his parents are on their way to pick Jackson up right now. I hate that they will be driving so long and so far in the dark and so late, but oh well. They really wanted to hang out with Jackson. I don' tthink they are going to take Creighton but that is okay...we can manage..I hope certainly she doesn't get sick, but supposedly my breastmilk is full of antibodies for her so she is less likely. We'll see. I am so tired and so hurting--my whole body just aches like madness! I figured I should pump again though. Trying to keep down some water and a few saltines.