Thursday, August 21, 2008

Stepping Up.

We began our fall women's bible study on Tuesday. (It is Stepping Up by Beth Moore). I was so excited about it beforehand....and still am in the midst of it. I love fellowship of women during bible study season (s). I just love it.

I am in a group with some ladies I do know, some I don't. I am excited to get to know them all better. It will be a really neat opportunity. I've missed this deeply.

God is so at work already in me anyway. On Tuesday Creighton was driving me nuts in the morning and then when I dropped her off in the nursery (huge perk to women's bible study :)) she screamed bloody murder and made a huge scene and I was very flustered already (thanks a lot Satan) before it even began. I hate it that I wear my emotions on my sleeves! Everyone in the room knew it as I blistered through the doors with no grace at all, tossed my stuff on the first table and all but ran to back looking like a giant fool. Oh well.

The Lord poured out his grace on me through friendly smiles, sweet generosity of a good friend, and the spoken Word of the Lord by one of my most favorite female speakers of all time!

However, at the same time, the Lord was showing me He had a lot in store for me. When we split up into group time I was so upset. I was in a room with NOT ONE of my close friends (there are lots of them doing the study). I was really wrestling with God on this one...back and forth, should I stay here or just go to the other group. I knew God had a plan and that I was to stay and that He put me specifically in that group for a purpose and yet I was still frustrated about it. When I finally came to grips with God had a plan and a purpose and stopped pouting and started looking for "my place" here, in comes one of my very best friends, Kara...who happened to also be placed in my group, but had been nursing her sweet baby. God is funny like that. I still have a ton of other friends in the other group...and I know that God has a lot in store for me in this study, in that group, but he also gave me my hearts desire in having a "companion" and didn't leave me alone (although I know he was with me and there are some sweet ladies in that group that I do love).

A lot of that comes from things I have been wrestling with a lot lately...not fitting in, being alone, life not being "fair" know hanging out with a 2 and 3 year old all day is starting to rub off on me...bummer :) I know it is all very childish...but I am so thankful that even in my childish-ness, God sees me, knows me, cares for me, and KEEPS me. I love it.

This study has already taught me some serious things about my heart and my walk, and my life. I am so excited to jump in head first each morning. I have gotten up before everyone in my house 2 days in a row and I couldn't be more excited about it. I love my God. There is no other like Him. None.

1 comment:

Becky said...

I can't tell you how important it is for you to take advantage of some of those "more-birthday'd" (to steal your phrase, I think) women. I would have never believed that some of my best friends would be as old as they are, but they are some of my healthiest relationships and most encouraging relationships - and I could go on and on. Of course, you know all of this, but I just want to encourage you to embrace them - they are not just people who can teach you - you can teach them, too - but they are people who can be true, safe, wonderful friends! Have a great Bible Study!